z
  • Home

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

evanescent

by spunkyspacekitty


a string of supports,
soft dewey sparkles,
scattered across silk,
so gentle, sweet, subtle.

lacey dreams caress
the forlorn stranger.
strength lies in gentleness,
in the innate frailty of nature.

its August eyes stare
as the breeze weaves
a tale of imminent doom.
a heavy tread on delicate leaves.

crushed wishes and hopes.
peril’s palm gripping
a lifetime of captivation,
discarded in a twinkling.


Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
13 Reviews

Points: 203
Reviews: 13

Donate
Thu Apr 04, 2024 5:01 pm
View Likes
ThekingsAdvisor wrote a review...



This poem is like looking at a beautiful picture! It talks about sparkly dew and dreams that feel like soft lace. But then, all of a sudden, it gets kind of scary with words like "imminent doom" and "crushed wishes." It feels like the happy part and the scary part don't really fit together. Also, I think it could be even better if it talked more about why being gentle can be strong. Overall, it's a cool poem with really neat pictures, but it could be even cooler if the happy and scary parts flowed better together!

Good job.




spunkyspacekitty says...


i hundred percent agree, i'm definitely gonna write another stanza to make it flow together better <.<. thank you for reading!



User avatar
246 Reviews

Points: 22463
Reviews: 246

Donate
Thu Apr 04, 2024 6:42 am
View Likes
Spearmint says...



ahhh i love the imagery in this poem!! :D it's beautiful <3




spunkyspacekitty says...


tysmmmmm : D



AkuRashomon says...


same here^^




Never express yourself more clearly than you are able to think.
— Niels Bohr