E - Everyone

evanescent

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a string of supports,
soft dewey sparkles,
scattered across silk,
so gentle, sweet, subtle.

lacey dreams caress
the forlorn stranger.
strength lies in gentleness,
in the innate frailty of nature.

its August eyes stare
as the breeze weaves
a tale of imminent doom.
a heavy tread on delicate leaves.

crushed wishes and hopes.
peril’s palm gripping
a lifetime of captivation,
discarded in a twinkling.

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User avatar
EllieMae
Review

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Hey Spunky!! Wow, I didn't realize you had a poem in here!! I always love seeing things you write and talking with you when you are on :D Let's get right Ito the review!

a string of supports,
soft dewey sparkles,
scattered across silk,
so gentle, sweet, subtle.


WOW! The alliteration in this is amazing! 9 S letter words, just in these four short lines! It sounds like we are describing a silk item, perhaps a dress or shirt or something! I love the design, from what you have mentioned. Sparkly, but subtle (love how you use some contradicting words) supports and scattered, wow!

Oh, I love these two lines so so much!

strength lies in gentleness,
in the innate frailty of nature.


Strength being found inside of gentleness is a beautiful thought. We always assume that strength means being rough and getting things done and winning, but honestly that is easier than choosing be be kind and choosing to finish last to do the right thing.

crushed wishes and hopes.
peril’s palm gripping
a lifetime of captivation,
discarded in a twinkling.


You end this so beautifully! It gives me this sense of nature and life, a life cycles, where everything lives for a time and eventually dies. But you touch on emotions so beautifully here. Really Spunky, this is so lovely!

Keep writing and I hope to catch up soon <3333 Miss you!!!!

Your friend,
Ellie

(This is AilahEvelynMae, I bet you know this but I changed my username! Miss youuu!!)

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This poem is like looking at a beautiful picture! It talks about sparkly dew and dreams that feel like soft lace. But then, all of a sudden, it gets kind of scary with words like "imminent doom" and "crushed wishes." It feels like the happy part and the scary part don't really fit together. Also, I think it could be even better if it talked more about why being gentle can be strong. Overall, it's a cool poem with really neat pictures, but it could be even cooler if the happy and scary parts flowed better together!

Good job.

i hundred percent agree, i'm definitely gonna write another stanza to make it flow together better <.<. thank you for reading!

User avatar
Spearmint
Comment

ahhh i love the imagery in this poem!! :D it's beautiful <3



Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.
— Martin Luther King Jr.