z

Young Writers Society



Misery Returns

by spiral


Quick declaimer, this is inspired by 'Have a Seat Misery', a song by Shayfer James. Go listen to it if you have the time, it's a really good song! 

~ ~ ~

It's the dead of night, James is sitting at his desk, looking over some papers. A storm is raging outside, but the sound of the rain isn't an unwelcome one. It's been a while since it's rained and James was starting to forget what it sounded like, bouncing off the roof, hitting the window panes, it's a nice sound.

There’s a flash of lightning quickly followed by a loud burst of thunder, and James jumps out of his seat. He laughs at himself for being so easily startled, before shaking his head and going back to the papers on his desk.

He has no idea how much time has passed, but he's once again disturbed from his work. But this time the noise isn't thunder, but instead a knock on the front door. James mumbles to himself as he gets up from the desk and walks out into the hall.

James begrudgingly opens the door to reveal a man. He is poorly dressed for the weather, wearing what seems to be a wool jacket which is completely soaked through. "Who are you?" James asks, not trying to mask his annoyance at being disturbed this late at night. The man looks up and to both of their surprise, James recognizes him.

"Oh, friend, it's been too long." He says, opening the door wider. "Come in, come in." The man looks conflicted, but ultimately decides it's best to get out of the rain. Walking through the doorway, and past James.

"Now, that is quite a storm." James remarks, bolting the door shut. He turns to the man and starts leading the way down the hall. “Here, let me take that from you.” Though the man seems a bit reluctant he doesn't protest when James helps him with his jacket. 

"You are an unexpected guest, but not an unwelcome one. Do not even worry, my friend. Now, let me be a reasonable host and offer you some dry clothes." He says, looking at the man who doesn’t say anything in return.

They continue walking down a few hallways until they reach a room, and James leads the man inside. "Let me draw you a bath, we don't want you getting sick now do we." His words seem kind enough, but the man feels uneasy. Despite that, he lets James draw a bath and fetch him some dry clothes.

~ ~ ~

Some time has passed, and the man walks into the study to find James sitting at his desk, not yet noticing his presence. The man clears his throat and James looks up.

"Ah, there you are. Are you feeling better? You certainly look better now that you're out of those rain drenched clothes." Again, this is said in a kind tone. A deceptively kind tone for the kind of man he knows James to be.

The man tries to disregard his unease for the moment.

Looking down at himself he has to agree with James. The clothes that he gave him are silk, and far fancier than anything he owns. It's definitely a bit much to be wearing at this hour of the night.

"Yes, thank you. But don't you think this is a bit much?" He isn't just referring to the clothes.

"Nonsense, friend. It's been far too long, of course I'm going to treat you tonight," James stands up and walks over to the man. "Lord, how I've missed you," he says in almost a whisper, and the man isn't sure if he was even meant to hear it. 

James looks at his friend and he's honestly a bit surprised that he recognized him. The years haven't been kind to him; his skin is unreasonably pale and his eyes look tired. But his hair is the same golden blond it used to be, he stature is still the same - being just a bit shorter than James is himself - and most importantly he feels the same. He is still the same man that James remembers him to be.

"Well, have a seat," James says with a smile.

The man looks around the lavishly decorated room, then goes to sit at the head of the table. James stays where he is, but watches the man as he goes.

"So," he says, his smile seems to falter a bit, "what brings you here?"

"Is that really a mystery to you, James?"

"Of course not. I was simply wondering if you would actually say it aloud," He walks closer to the table, "Not that I expect that from you." 

"Speaking it aloud would make it too real." 

"Well yes, but it is real." 

Neither of them talk for a moment, and the room would’ve been completely silent were it not for the storm raging on outside.

"I'm honestly surprised you invited me in." The man says finally.

"Oh, Misery, I'm a changed man. I wouldn't leave you out in that storm." James says this like it's a clever joke.

"I've never cared for that nickname. Misery…”

"But it suits you, does it not?" James says, looking at him with a smile. Misery holds his gaze as he continues. “Always bringing misfortune to the people around you. Is that why you travel? Moving from place to place, never staying too long in hopes of avoiding the inevitable. Or do you enjoy the misery that you cause? Enjoy the distress you bring everywhere you go?”

Misery tries to ignore that. "It's been years since we've spoken-"

"We've sent letters back and forth.” James interrupts. “Or have you already forgotten?"

"It was mostly you sending the letters, I was just unfortunate enough to receive them."

"Travelling all over the place, yet I could always find you," he says, walking around the room now. "Did you ever wonder how I did it?"

"Of course, but I also know that you won't tell me." James turns back to Misery with a smile. 

"Oh, Misery, dear, I missed this. What kept you away for so long?"

"You." He says plainly, and James can't help but laugh at this.

"Ah, well if you remember correctly, I said you could come back whenever you wished to."

"And I never wished to."

"Of course." James walks over to Misery and places a hand on the back of the chair. "You know, I am happy to say that, in a way, you never really left."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, you'll find out soon enough. No need for me to spoil your ignorance prematurely." He smiles. "Would you care for a cigarette?"

"If you wouldn't mind."

"Of course," James walks over to a nearby table and grabs a cigarette and a lighter, and he goes to hand them to Misery. "Let me light this for you. It seems like your hands are shaking," he points out.

Misery looks at his hands to see that they are, indeed, shaking. "Oh..." is all he can say. James hands him the cigarette then lights it for him.

"I still don't understand why you're being so kind to me, James." Misery says before taking a drag from the cigarette.

James lights his own, then says "Don't mistake me, Misery. You are one of my closest friends."

Misery laughs, "I've gone country to country to try to avoid speaking to you."

"And yet here you are. Funny how that works, isn't it?"

~ ~ ~

Time has passed, things have been discussed, and Misery has finally gotten fed up with James.

"You are villainous," he says, standing from his chair now and glaring at James.

"Would you have me any other way?"

Misery is unsure of how to answer that. Of all of the things James has said tonight, this is what makes Misery go speechless. They both know the answer to the question, so it doesn't need to be spoken aloud. Even so, Misery's silence is deafeningly guilty.

"Have a seat, Misery. Relax. We have all night to talk."

~ ~ ~ 


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26 Reviews


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Thu Feb 18, 2021 7:01 pm
nightshadows wrote a review...



Truly mysterious! I loved this short story. I love the way you had me hooked into the story! I couldn't tear my eyes from the screen and I admire that in a writer! It sure is hard to have people guessing what is coming next. Especially in this paragraph you wrote:

"But it suits you, does it not?" James says, looking at him with a smile. Misery holds his gaze as he continues. “Always bringing misfortune to the people around you. Is that why you travel? Moving from place to place, never staying too long in hopes of avoiding the inevitable. Or do you enjoy the misery that you cause? Enjoy the distress you bring everywhere you go?”

Makes you wonder what the backstory of james and misery is and why misery tried so hard to stay away from James even to the point of traveling from country to country!

I also love how you switched around the plot. Because when you first read the story you expect misery as the one to cause...uneasiness. But truthfully when I read that I was much more suspicious of James! And Like I said that last sentence where is says:

"Or do you enjoy the misery that you cause? Enjoy the distress you bring everywhere you go?”
It makes you feel defensive for Misery!

I absolutely love your technique of writing and I cannot wait to read more stories of yours!




spiral says...


Thank you ! This is very encouraging !!



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Thu Feb 11, 2021 2:48 pm
Plume wrote a review...



Hey there! Plume here, with a review!

I really enjoyed this short story!! I thought it was really well-crafted and delightfully executed. Well done!!

One thing I really enjoyed were your character interactions. That banter was super fun to read, and it provided an amazingly entertaining dynamic between James and Misery. It made me wonder about both of the characters more, given the hints you provided. I want to know how they know each other, what each of them does... Anyways. it's really nice.

I also like your writing voice a lot. I think you do a great job of being the narrator in this piece, and it works really well. I'm getting a sort of objective vibe, and the story is carried on dialogue rather than thoughts. It works really nicely though, and I think having thoughts would just cloud the tale. It also showcases the stellar dialogue you have for both of them, which is definitely a good thing.

Specifics

It's the dead of night, James is sitting at his desk, looking over some papers. A storm is raging outside, but the sound of the rain isn't an unwelcome one. It's been a while since it's rained and James was starting to forget what it sounded like, bouncing off the roof, hitting the window panes, it's a nice sound.


This first paragraph is really great, but you do have a couple comma splices. You can resolve them by either adding in a conjunction (I think this option would be best for the first comma splice, so it reads "It's the dead of night, and James is sitting at his desk, looking over some papers) OR by just making it a new sentence (this option would work really well for the second one, because it would provide contrast with the super long sentence you have before: "It's been a while since it's rained, and James was starting to forget what it sounded like, bouncing off the roof and hitting the window panes. It's a nice sound").

"Oh, friend, it's been too long." He says, opening the door wider. "Come in, come in." The man looks conflicted, but ultimately decides it's best to get out of the rain. Walking through the doorway, and past James.


I noticed that you had some dialogue formatting inconsistencies. This is just one example, but I'll provide a little cheat sheet on how to format all of the mistakes I caught. In this one, you can use a comma after long and you don't need to capitalize he. Since "he says" is a dialogue tag, you use a comma it's part of the same sentence. You also sometimes made the opposite mistake, where you would put a comma where the phrase following it wasn't a dialogue tag, so here's a quick reminder: if the dialogue is followed by a dialogue tag (e. g. he said, she replied, he exclaimed) use a comma and a lowercase. If the dialogue is followed by an action (e. g. he jumped, she smiled, he laughed) then use a period and a capital letter. Both exclamation points and question marks can be used in place of the punctuation I listed, but the capitalization of the letter has to remain consistent with what type of phrase follows the dialogue.

"Let me draw you a bath, we don't want you getting sick now do we."


I think this would be better if it were phrased as ""Let me draw you a bath. We don't want you getting sick, now do we?" Since it's a question, you need that question mark.

Overall: really lovely story!! I quite enjoyed reading it, and the dynamics between James and Misery were so, so good. I hope to read more from you in the future, and let me know if you have any questions!! Keep writing!




spiral says...


Thank you so much ! Your feedback is really helpful !



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Tue Feb 09, 2021 8:51 am
ForeverYoung299 wrote a review...



as I told you, I am here to give you a review of this story.

it's beautifully crafted. I liked both the characters - James and misery.

James begrudgingly opens the door to reveal a man. He is poorly dressed for the weather, wearing what seems to be a wool jacket which is completely soaked through


I think, that is would be more appropriate than which is

"Ah, there you are. Are you feeling better? You certainly look better now that you're out of those rain drenched clothes.


i think rain drenched should rain-drenched.

It's definitely a bit much to be wearing at this hour of the night.

there's no need of definitely in the above line.

Nonsense, friend. It's been far too long, of course I'm going to treat you tonight," James stands up and walks over to the man.

put a comma after course

But his hair is the same golden blond it used to be, he stature is still the same

he should be his.

Neither of them talk for a moment, and the room would’ve been completely silent were it not for the storm raging on outside.

talk should be talks

other than all these, it's a very good story.

i would be thankful if you can review my works.




spiral says...


Thank you for the review!



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701 Reviews


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Tue Feb 09, 2021 5:33 am
ForeverYoung299 says...



it's quite good. if I get time I will review it.





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