The Extraordinaires

Below us was the rocky pavement street drenched in an amber wash from the lights above us. The street went along quite a way, and so did we, pushing with our toes that nearly poked out the deteriorating fabric of our shoes. Our wheels rattled and the sound reverberated between the walls of Main Street businesses, through empty parking lots, down adjacent neighborhood streets shrouded with trees.

The summer breeze was gentle to us. We trailed on aimlessly and let our arms fall to our sides, leaning slowly to the left then slowly to the right, pushing again for a burst of speed and to feel the wind brush against our skin.

Nighttime air was never selfish. The night is when the vehicles retreated to their driveways and when the ordinary presence of the streets became inviting. No bustle. No urgency. From our boards, we could feel the road beneath us and breathe in the town.

We drifted along our little way, passing the final cars of the night. In the distance stood the surrounding hills speckled with yellow spots of people’s homes among the trees, though it seemed they blended into the sky and the stars as everything went to sleep. It was our favorite thing, to make the time the world put to waste into something unexplainably extraordinary.

And we drove ourselves across the town with a destination out of mind. With nowhere to go, we went anywhere with the resolve to take as much life out of the wind as we could, to explore the town in its simplest state. Our words escaped into the outline of the streets, our laughter permeating the air like a drip of color to fill an ocean.

Then from the hills that gazed over our shoulders echoed a thunderous boom. We stamped our feet to the cement and turned our heads in curiosity. We often forgot we were not alone.

We raced against the streets, making short cuts through alley ways, striking rocks and rolling back onto our feet without missing a moment. Dodging potholes and cats, crouching low on the downhills, we traced the sound of inconsistency. They were coming more frequently now, the booming, and booming, as was the pounding drum of our beating hearts. There was a single place to which we knew the sound would bring us, and we drove ourselves along that path for the sake of it.

As we climbed the hill with our boards in hand, we heard another and saw between the leaves a flashing of colored lights above us. They were accompanied by the sound of crackling, then suddenly another pounding boom, then another, then more. We reached the peak of the hill and gazed out at the twinkling lights that made our town at night until suddenly, above them were a thousand more, exploding and expanding in vibrant hues.

The night was not a holiday, but it was a celebration. Tonight we owned the sky.

Comments & reviews · 3
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Angelreader77
Review

Hi there, spinelli!

Honestly, this was great. Your descriptions, imagery and metaphors were fantastic and there was perfect balance to it- not too much, not too little. I was entranced by the words and the story- you did what a writers supposed to do: you set the little movie reel in my head rolling, image after image flashing through my mind. The flow was nice and slow, no rush to anything, which I loved.

The only thing that stood out to me was the first sentence.

Below us was the rocky pavement street drenched in an amber wash from the lights above us.

Maybe this is just me and because I'm a rather weird person but I saw the words "drenched" and "amber wash", the first thing that came to my mind was something like oil flowing down the pavement and egh- you get the idea. I got what it meant a second later, but the description didn't make much sense to me.
On an completely unrelated note, did you notice that the sentence begins with a 'below us' and ends with an 'above us'? It's funny.

This was a great read, and keep writing!
Angel

Thank you for the kind words :] I totally got you on the whole "drenched" thing. It's just a confusing description, which I thought sort of worked, but I can see the weirdness of it, haha.

And I did notice the "below/above" thing hehe n_n I'm glad YOU noticed. I like those weird kinda syntax things. :D

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Twinkle4ever
Review

I so loved it, imagined it and it was something different than the way I always imagine. You have your way of sinking the words right into my brain because I was almost lost in the world you'd created with your writing skill.
Your descriptive skills are pretty good too. It was like seeing something through someone else's eyes exactly and also feeling the atmosphere of the night with it. The very last sentence was, to my opinion, the best. Keep writing like that. :)

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Rage
Review
Rage wrote a review · Mon Jun 17, 2013 10:58 pm

Hi...just wanted to offer a review.

Firstly, the tone of this story is superb. It captures the very essence of youthfulness - carefree, light, and yet filled with a sort of urgency. I love how you never lose this tone and you manage to keep it constant throughout the entire piece.

Considering that the plot is a rather simplistic one, you did several things that ensured the reader would remain interested (which is what all good writers are supposed to do). You manage to keep the characters ambiguous until the very end and, in my opinion, this added to the carefully-crafted, mysteriousness, ethereal atmosphere in which the story is set.

You have a keen eye for imagery, and your descriptions of the night-scenes and the characters were very convincing and managed to actually transport me all the way from here South America to wherever this piece is set. I do believe that your greatest strength (and there are so many to choose from) is your ability to fill the mind of the reader with lush instances of imager which instantly makes the reader see what you intended him/her to see.

It was truly magical. Nothing but compliments for you.

#ILoveWatchingFireworks



To succeed, you need to find something to hold on to, something to motivate you, something to inspire you.
— Tony Dorsett