Wings. These light feathery limbs allow birds to soar over the everyday troubles of our planet. When I was younger, I would watch the birds soar from my window. I had no mother, and my father would often stay out late. To me, it didn't come as a surprise when he sold me off to get more cash for his drugs. Although I was only 9 at the time, I had gone through more than any child should have to.
The man who took me brought me to a dark underground room, where many other children were. Little did I know then, my life was about to change forever.
My name is Spencer Worthington. I am 16 years old. My life-changing secret? I have wings.
The time I spent down in that underground when I was younger was painful. All of the kids were used to test new drugs in order to make sure they weren't lethal. It was one of these drugs that messed with my DNA, and caused wings to form on by back. I hid them from those evil men, and when I had my chance I took it. I try not to look back on that day.
Now, I live on the top of a building in Manhattan, New York. I have a small shack amidst a rooftop garden, where I know the tenant below. H e provides for me when I can't on my own, and I help him too.
On this particular Saturday, the city streets below are packed. I stretch my grey wings to their limits, then retract them. I can't fly in the middle of the day. Then I pull a string out of my jeans pocket and tie the strands of golden hair on my head back. I guess I'll have to take the elevator for once.
I open the rooftop door, groaning as I walk down the stairs. Flying is so much easier. On my way down, I stop and knock on my neighbor's door.
He opens it quickly. "Hey, Spence!" He grins. "Off to look for work?"
I laugh at his happy attitude. "Yea I am, Brock. Why so happy?"
Brock brushes his dark hair out of his glittering blue eyes. "Well, you see..." He pauses for affect ."I got the internship!"
"Wow, congrats!" I give him a quick hug, then start walking away. "Gotta go! Life is waiting!"
Brock waves, smiles, then walks back into his apartment.
The doorman opens the door for me, and I step outside, making sure my wings are folded snugly to my body. "Who knows what would happen if someone saw those..." I mutter.
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137,601 Literary Works • 672,050 Reviews
Boy with wings huh. This is rather interesting, so I will poke my head every so often to see were this goes.
In any event I will do my best to review so please forgive me if this does not help.
The good: I have to say, I really like these stories were someone has to keep a not so subtle secret from the rest of society. It is just so thrilling!
Also, I am liking the mystery behind the evil guys who tested on Spencer, so here's to hoping for a good payoff!
The bad: Well, I would have to entirely agree with happyslappy13. You have a nice set up, now you need to fill in the details.
Describe Spencer's life as a child. Give a few dark hints as to what he went through growing if, and the same could be applied at his time with the evil men testing on him. Speaking of evil men...He did escape right? All that was said was that he "took a chance" but didn't explain how or even that he did.
Lastly,and this isn't really important but I would like to know more about what kind of person Spencer is. I get the feeling that he is a relatively kind person, but I somehow don't think that he can remain nice after all he has been through. Again, nothing too important, just something to keep in mind for the later chapters.
Regardless, thank you for the story! Even if it is a little short it was filling all the same, so please don't stop writing!
Interesting first chapter you got here. I approve of this concept you have going so far
The most impactful advice I could give to your piece would be to simply lengthen it. You don't even need to add any new content, I would suggest adding more description here and there. Perhaps at the beginning, for you sort of just jump into things. Not that that's a bad thing, for that might've been your purpose. But I think some nice description would help tremendously, add some characterization, some mood and tone, and just generally improve this already-solid chapter. Just add a little meat to the bones, I guess.
But anywho, nice work and concept! I especially like the line "My name is Spencer Worthington. I am 16 years old. My life-changing secret? I have wings." It basically grabs attention, and would be one thing I wouldn't mind having at the very beginning.
Interesting stuff.
Peace off.