Coward

by spartacus

Published July 8, 2011

Coward
the coward
fights with his fist
he doesn't let others
oppinions be thought
in his eyes
only
he matters
only
his oppinions are valid
and
only he
deserves a say
in most ways
he is a tyrant
in others
he is a
follower
in both ways
he is a coward

Thankyou:)

Comments & reviews · 4
User avatar
spartacus
Comment
spartacus commented Comment · Jul 10, 2011

Its mostly just in my eyes that this describes a coward because of people I know;) Thankyou!

User avatar
shiney1
Review
shiney1 wrote a review Review · Jul 9, 2011

Hey, shiney1 here!

I like this poem. It is simple, to the point and very interesting.
One if the big problem I have though, is that I feel this hardly describes a coward...
I mean, this is just my viewpoint, but a coward is afraid to fight, or speak or whatever he is cowardly about, but what you described is someone who gets in people's faces, and is not afraid to speak his mind. It just didn't add up in my head.


Coward
The coward
fights with his fist;
he doesn't let others'
opinions be thought.
In his eyes
only
he matters,
only
his opinions are valid,
and
only he
deserves a say.
in most ways
He is a tyrant
in others.
He is a
follower;
in both ways
he is a coward.


Mainly punctuation and some grammar.

Good work!

User avatar
briggsy1996
Review
briggsy1996 wrote a review Review · Jul 8, 2011

Hey, I liked this- it's a poem that is very sharp and to the point- I happen to be a fan of those kinds of poems.
One tiny nitpick:
- Spelling error; you have oppinions written a few times- the correct spelling is opinions.

Also, might I suggest adding a comma in one place? I know in poems it's not always necessary, however I found I was a little confused at one point:

spartacus wrote:only he
deserves a say ,
in most ways
he is a tyrant


- I found when I was reading, I didn't catch at first that it was like a change in sentence.
That's just my thoughts though; don't feel like you have to change anything, I'm just trying to think of ways to help!
Overall, I enjoyed it! :)
-Briggsy



“Rise like Lions after slumber In unvanquishable number. Shake your chains to earth like dew Which in sleep had fallen on you— Ye are many—they are few.”
— Mary Shelly