Published July 8, 2011
Coward
the coward
fights with his fist
he doesn't let others
oppinions be thought
in his eyes
only
he matters
only
his oppinions are valid
and
only he
deserves a say
in most ways
he is a tyrant
in others
he is a
follower
in both ways
he is a coward
Thankyou:)
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141,311 Literary Works • 674,340 Reviews
This was great! I thought I'd look it over since you commented on my piece- I Can't Win.
You've strongly captured the ways of a coward for sure..
My favorite lines?
This is definitely my favorite line. It has so much behind it. That is the only way, he can over-power anyone else. It make him feel safe, and in control. Words aren't good enough, because he can't win with them.
I love your repetition of "only" too. The single word on every other line make is so simple, yet powerful.
You've done amazing, and if you ever want to talk about it, just PM me. I understand more than you may think. I love to listen.
Great job,
-Brie
Great thoughts! Really intelligent, thoughtful stuff here. I must point out, though, that "opinions" is spelled with only one P. But the content here was very good. Thanks for posting this.
I love the message and the emotion in the poem,
I'm not a poem expert but I think maybe the flow in the middle is a little off. But I love how true the poem is and it doesn't really hold back. good job!
Hi!
I'll agree with the previous reviewers that this poem is quite true. It sort of reminds me of Rudyard Kipling's If. Which is quite a good poem itself. It also have a pretty good rhyming scheme.
For the poem itself, I don't think I have a critique for this, you're describing a corward and you've done it well. I also liked how you rounded it up at the end by saying 'he is a coward.' I think that that gives it a nice rounded up ending.
I do have a few suggestions though:
- Cleaning up the formatting a bit. It's pretty uneven at the moment and I don't think it'll hurt if you format it in even stanzas like the previously mentioned Rudyard Kipling's If. Although that's just my opinion personally.
- Expand on it. Surely there must be more characteristics that makes someone a cowards. Talk more about his actions and his thoughts. Also, see how this is included in If
See how he mentioned Triump and Disaster and sort of personificated it. I think that you could add something like that in it too. To make the poem that bit more powerful and meaningful.
Although please keep in mind that these things above are just suggestions and nothing more. You don't have to change anything if you don't feel like it.
Overall, I think that you have a pretty solid poem. Keep it up!
What a beautiful poem. It's completely honest and true; the perfect words to describe a coward.
Just remember, opinion only has one P.
Happy writing
This is brilliant and completely true. This are the characteristics of a cowards and put so elegantly on paper! It's pure genius. Nice format, nice wording, great overall!
Veritas