satiety

Hi

!! I'm so happy to review this last poem!

While I'm glad the narrator is finally sated, it's really interesting to note that the narrator of this poem doesn't seem to actually be there yet:

somewhere up far beyond me is a self with unhinged jaws

There's a shift to writing about "her," and even though the two selves are kind of united when the narrator returns to "i," it feels as if this is still being written from the depths, or at least only a few steps out of the depths, anticipating what it will be like once all the lessons have been learned and the boulders are out of the way.

This poem is a lot shorter than the very first one, and still a little shorter than the middle one, so it does feel like the weight has literally been taken off since then. "unhinged jaws" was a little disturbing for a second, haha, but other than that it jus reads lighter. I really like the connection back to the first poem with the "heart hangs on a chain / this time over her chest." It's like all that was amiss in the first poem is set right (or will be).

This is also the first time when we have a concrete second person. The first poem had some quotes that were presumably told to the narrator, but they always seem to be alone. Now there is a "he," and what's really interesting is that "finally he slayed it: the creature and the beast," and this seems to be part of the key to the narrator being "reborn in new skin."

I think it fits perfectly well in this poem, but I wish we had a little more context for the rest of them, maybe. Is it not the narrator who overcame all of the blood and boulders? While there's triumphant imagery of her "tossing all the boulders," she's not the one who slayed the beast, and we don't know who this person is. A partner (were they struggling together?) or more like a savior (who kind of swooped down to rescue her?). I just might want a little more context than the two lines here.

I do really like the battle and sword imagery, though again it's much lighter than your previous imagery. I'm also really interested in the initial line: "i’ve made victory a chalice at the peak of all my flaws." The victory and chalice parts definitely push readers towards the sort of upward momentum of this poem immediately, but I'm curious about "the peak of all my flaws." I'm kind of reading that as the narrator having to cope with and overcome all of her flaws to reach this victory point, a seemingly impossible task. But it's just a really interesting phrase to me, and I'm curious about what other things it could mean!

It could be nice to see some more allusions to the second poem, like having climbed out of the blood or seeing calm seas below where she tosses the boulders. I don't know that this poem needs to address any or all of the themes or images of the other two poems for it to make a complete set, but it might be interesting to see some more things recur as well, or to see more imagery of what life looks like at the top. Though, if the narrator really still is in the depths, it might seem a little unimaginable or out of reach.

i’ve been reborn in new skin, i’m alive. i can be

I think you really nailed it with that last line. It absolutely hits on "satiety" and gives the readers the exact feeling of having made it and breathing a sigh of relief after the turmoil of the last two poems.

And again, I really like the "finally learned and finally grown" lines. I feel like there are so many times when we might wish to look ahead to that point in life, and you really hit on that emotion in this poem in a great way. <3

Thanks again for sharing all of these, you are such a talented poet and I'm happy to have had the chance to review your work! I hope it helped in some way.

-Q