A/N: First line of the song links to a recording of me singing and playing the song. If you're able to please listen along as you read!
Oh I can’t
Keep track
Of my hopes
No more
Yesterday
Swear I thought
You walked out
My door
Oh I wanted
To see you
In a dream
Somehow
But I know
That’s a fool’s wish
That’s so foolish
To think I’d get this
I’ll never see you again
Never see you again
Never see you again
Never see you again
I’ll never see you again
Never see you again
Never see you again
Never see you again
Oh I can’t
Keep hoping
For something
Faint, like smoke
Drifting off
Fading tendrils
With my fingers
Grope
Oh I wanted
To see you
In a dream
Somehow
But I know
It’s a fool’s wish
It’s so foolish
To think I missed this
I’ll never see you again
Never see you again
Never see you again
Never see you again
I’ll never see you again
Never see you again
Never see you again
Never see you again
Wish you were here
Wish you were here
Wish I could see
You here with me
Didn’t think I
Would have to say
Goodbye
So suddenly
So suddenly
Goodbye
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Canary word: Present
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140,831 Literary Works • 673,694 Reviews
Nice, I like the vibe of this. Personally I don't like so many of the words repeating. But hey, if it works, it works. Though I'd have to hear it out loud to know for sure... Anyways, as far as just lyrics are concerned, this is great.
Omg, your stuff is always so good. You sing well, I wish I could! But that's why I only write lyrics not sing um.
Thank you so much Anma!
Just WOW...
Ahh you sang this? You wrote this? You did every single bit of it!? Like every single letter. Word by word?
God, we've got singers, musicians, poets, authors... So many amazing talents!!!! Oh my god, I'm going nuts.
This is fabulous. Better than Beyoncé, Whitney Houston, all of them singers put together! This is great! This is beyond-the-heavens-amazing!!
Haha, yeah this is all me. Thank you so much! I'm glad you like it!
Your welcome!
Who was the other person singing with you?
That was actually still me! I recorded the harmonies over the melody and mixed it in garageband
O_O
COOOOL!
Spoiler
Hello sound, it is I FlamingPhoenix here with a review for you on this lovely day, and to help get this work out the green room.
Let's start.
So as I was reading this I found myself getting lost in the words, and dancing a little to it. I think you nailed this one really well, The flow was really good and the tune you sang it t was really good to. To be honest I found myself reading over this twice before I got to the review.
I just love the way you started this song, it was so calm and it just brings the reader into the song so well, and it gets them into the tune, and it also helps us connect with the emotions in the song.
The ending was the same way, but it let us know the story you were telling us was over, and it was a good way to end the song.
I also really loved the name, i'm not sure what it was, but something about it just made me come and read your work and boy am I gad I did.
Over all I just loved reading this and telling you what I thought, I'm glad I had the chance to have a look, it has been a while since I reviewed one of your works. Never stop writing and post again on YWS soon. Have a great day or night.
Your friend
FlamingPhoenix.
Reviewing with a fiery passion.
Thank you so much Phoenix!!
Your welcome.
I'll be honest i teared up a little. That was beautiful. Felt some lana del rey vibes. I really enjoyed the guitar riff in the intro and the part before the outro. Maybe if it was inserted after each chorus? Because the chords by themselves sounded a but repetitive after a point. I love your harmonizations at the chorus. You have an amazing head voice. In terms of lyrics its pretty straightforward, but i guess thats the charm of the song. Maybe the last chorus could use some added instrumental as well, perpaps a violin riff but that may just be preferance. Its pretty good as is. Otherwise i dont really have any strong criticism for this masterpiece. Remember me when you become famous one day.
<3
Thanks so much for the review! Glad you liked the fingerpicking parts! I'm sure there's more I could add musically as far as instruments go, but I'm not the most skilled musician, so, for now, it's just pretty stripped down. Maybe one of these days I can ask some of my musical friends to help me add more instruments in my recordings :,)
oh my god this song is better than some famous popstar you put so much emotion and so much dedication into your work, shows you have potential in not just writing but songwriting/ plus u can sing. you would be a fool not to audition for 2020 BGT because your a bright/ rising star.
Thanks so much! I'm really glad you liked it!