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The Lost Dragon 41

by soundofmind


Chapter 41 - You Killed My Father, Except I Don't Actually Know That So Here We Are

Carter took a deep breath.

On a small plot of land, still within the walls of the city, but just at the edges, they had cleared away space for Blackfield's grave. They'd taken a few days to make arrangements. Blackfield had already had many things arranged for his inevitable death, but it still ended up taking most people by surprise.

They'd waited a few days before announcing it to the city, and before sending out news to the rest of the kingdom. They needed time to put things in order and Eliza needed time to grieve before the eyes of the world were on her.

Now, the city knew. And soon, the rest of the kingdom would know too. There would be a time for grieving, but a new king was to be crowned soon. Their kingdom had the most power and influence in the world, and that had to be secured. The longer they stayed without someone on the throne the longer they would be vulnerable.

The king had made his wishes clear, in the last few words he'd written down in his will.

Poor Eliza.

The snow was falling again, coming down in tiny little snowflakes, light, and non-threatening. There was a large stone tablet that Blackfield's stone coffin sat upon, heavy and grey, with his face engraved on the front, as a depiction of his youth - when he once appeared strong, regal, and intimidating. When his beard was full and his skin was free of sunspots and sagging.

Around his face there were carvings of his wife, who passed long ago, and Eliza. There were horses, riding off into the sunset, and armies depicted as victorious, glorious conquerors. The artist who had been commissioned to create the piece had artfully, and poetically, tried to tell Blackfield's life story.

Which, of course, meant looking over all of the failures, and all of the sufferings he caused.

Carter stood in front of the monument of stone, where Blackfield had been laid to rest. Eliza was beside him, dressed in all black. Dark, thick fur lined her hat, her mittens, and the collar of her cloak, which hung over her shoulders and just barely hovered over the snow. Carter had exchanged his armor for a dark winter coat, but nothing quite as glamorous. Until tomorrow, he was still a soldier.

Eliza set a bouquet of red roses atop the coffin, leaving the offering of red as a harsh contrast to the grey and white around them. The tips of the petals were already beginning to frost as they sat against the cold stone.

Eliza let out a deep breath.

"I read his will a dozen times," she said.

And every time, she was denied her inheritance.

"I always knew he favored you over me," she continued. "But I guess now I know for sure. Even as his only child I was never his favorite. It was always someone else."

Carter reached out to her shoulder.

"I'm so sorry it happened this way," he said softly.

Eliza glanced at him and looked away. He could hear her sniff, quietly, before she stood up straight and faced him.

"No. This is better," she said, sounding both sad, and a little bitter. "Everyone trusts you. All the soldiers. All the guilds. They'd follow you anywhere. I would have to fight just to gain respect. Over, and over, and over. It would be exhausting..."

She looked down at the coffin and sighed.

"Besides. This is what he wanted."

Carter took in a deep breath and looked out at the snowy expanse around them. At the hedge of trees circling them, and the group of officials and guild leaders behind them, standing a respectful distance away as the princess and the king-to-be had a quiet moment with the former King Blackfield.

He could see his parents in the crowd, exchanging solemn and quiet words out of polite obligation with others around them. All of this was to keep up appearances.

Blackfield had been a charismatic and influential leader in his prime, and even in his later years, was able to rally people around his cause and inspire loyalty and conviction in his followers. In his kingdom. In his people.

But it had all been for selfish reasons.

Eliza only knew the versions of the stories that Blackfield told her, and those were the only stories anyone heard these days. The story the mages told, the side that lost the war, and the side that was in hiding, was one that no one knew yet.

And yet, despite Blackfield being painted like a hero, Eliza had still been a victim of his bias, and Carter knew that though she loved him, she didn't romanticize his history of violence and hatred.

Carter pulled his hand away from her shoulder and looked her in the eyes.

"You deserve to have a say in what happens with your people. I would like you by my side, Eliza. Will you trust me?"

He held out his hand for her to take.

Eliza met his eyes, and then she looked down at his hand thoughtfully. Slowly, she reached out to take it, and they shook hands firmly.

"I trust you," she said.

Carter smiled sadly - no more than was appropriate at a funeral, but just enough for Eliza to know he was there to support her.

He was glad to have her on his side. For tomorrow, he would be crowned king.

The End (For Now)

Awaiting Book 2


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Tue Apr 13, 2021 11:12 pm
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Carina says...



WHAT A ROLLER COASTER finaly after like 3 years I FINISH UR BOOK!!!!! happy teardrop

tank u for sharing ur story <3 loved it sm




soundofmind says...


THANK U SO MUCH I CRY



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Sun Jan 31, 2021 3:12 am
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veeren wrote a review...



AND HERE WE ARE AT THE FINAL CHAPTER I KNOW U HAPPY TO GET RID OF ME BUT LET ME TELL U SOUNDY THIS IS NOT THE END

SO LET'S GET TO IT do i even have to say that it only slightly irks me that the novel ends with the gnome man one character i despise the most getting the most air time?? i feel like every chapter i read with his name and his thoughts dig him deeper and deeper into this metaphorical hole that i hope will soon be his grave.

i don't have much to review this time around, your pacing and the way you set up a sequel in this chapter was ON POINT. you certainly have a lot of unfinished business to take care of but i am super proud of you for what you have turned this novel into. i will never stop telling you how much i loved reading through everything (EVEN THIS SECOND TIME) and if you ever feel discouraged please let me know so i can personally rip the discouragedness out of you and remind you how so very talented you are.

as always thank you for the amazing chapter and i cant wait to see what you come up with next <3

-veer




soundofmind says...


VEER I AM SIMPLY SHAKING AND CRYING AND THANK U SO MUCH!!! WISH I COULD HUG U!!!!



veeren says...


<333 ALL THE HUGS FOR YOU AND ALL THE LOVE FOR YOU AND YOUR NOVEL. NO TEARS UNLESS THEY ARE TEARS OF JOY YOU DESERVE ALL OF THE PRAISE <33



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Sun Jan 31, 2021 2:36 am
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Shady wrote a review...



Sound! THE END! I am so excited and SO PROUD OF YOU for making it through a WHOLE NOVEL <33 It's SO hard to do, and I am SO TERRIBLE at writing endings, and ahhh I'm so pleased for you getting this far. I'm super excited to see how you end this glass cage of emotion you've trapped me in.

Carter took a deep breath.


His last, I hope >.>

but it still ended up taking most people by surprise.


Gee, I wonder why, maybe cause it was a MURDER?

Poor Eliza.


Okay, hear me out. Eliza murders King-Dad-Murder Man? Pls?

Dark, thick fur-lined her hat,


This is another case of dash-abuse that I pointed out before. Cause like this comes across more like an adjective? of fur-lined but then you talk about all the things it lines and Is Not how this is supposed to work, even if I can't explain why that is xD

Even as his only child I was never his favorite.


Awww, this is so tragic, I don't even know Eliza and this broke my heart </3

"I'm so sorry it happened this way," he said softly.


Grrrrr, I wish I was allowed to curse in reviews because I have WORDS for Carter and a brand new nickname for him >.>

"You deserve to have a say in what happens with your people. I would like you by my side, Eliza. Will you trust me?"


He's soooooooo slimy gahhhh

"I trust you," she said.


Sigh.

He was glad to have her on his side. For tomorrow, he would be crowned king.


SOUND YOU HAD /ONE/ JOB!!!! I'm so angry >:[

~ ~ ~

Okay! So, I guess I should probably give my overall takeaways from the past, what's it been, 20 or so chapters? Okay it's been twenty-one chapters I went back and counted, twenty-two once I post this one

I really like your novel! I am not expecting to be able to sustain this pace, and I've also got a few other novels I've been trying (and failing) to follow so I can't commit to get to this SOON but I AM planning to go back and read this from the start eventually, so if it doesn't happen in a few weeks then you can prod me and I'll let you know where I am.

BUT! This was so great that I DO want to go back and read from the start, which is great :) I usually wouldn't want to go back to the start after I already know the end, but I NEED to know all the build up of the cuteness around James and Clandestine and figure out who Carter is and how he'd manage to get so slimy on us.

I think in places it feels a bit rushed, but I pointed those out, and like I've said, I get this is a NaNo novel so no judgement at all there, just something to maybe keep an eye on. Also, as I pointed out recently, Clandestine feels a little spazzy and teenager-ish and if that's not the vibes you're going for with her you might want to take another look at her characterization in these most recent chapters.

But overall, AMAZING JOB!! I'M SO PROUD OF YOU FOR FINISHING even if I still haven't forgiven you for not murdering Carter

Keep writing! Gotta see where book two takes us ;) (Also if you do end up reading/posting that feel free to ping me bc I definitely am now invested in this story)

~Shady 8)

Schadenfreude and Fahrvergnügen




SilverNight says...


I came over here for the sole reason that I knew Shady would be mad that Sound didn%u2019t kill Carter and I am not disappointed



Shady says...


HE NEEDS TO DIE but ahaha guilty



soundofmind says...


You have given me so many helpful things to think about and consider when I return to this novel and try to fix, edit, rework, and you know - all the things!! THANK YOU TIMES A MILLION!! And the fact that you wanna go back and read from the start? I CRY!!!!!!

Sorry for not killing Carter... I hope u can forgive me eventually ... SAD!! And thank u again for all the love and the congrats and everything I am running out of thoughts I just hug hug love thank again

now I go sob AGAIN!!



Shady says...


<333 You're welcome! I'm glad my vague screaming was helpful xD But yeah!! Awesome story :D

Sorry for not killing Carter... I hope u can forgive me eventually


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SilverNight wrote a review...



This is it! I've loved every moment of this story, and I can't believe it's already coming to an end. Following Clandestine, James, and all the others has been one of the best parts of January, and I'll really miss reviewing it. You have so much writing talent-- I've been impressed over and over again by what you've managed to do! Thank you so much, sound. I could go on and on about everything I loved, but we'd be here a very long time, because I'd never run out. <3

Chapter 41 - You Killed My Father, Except I Don't Actually Know That So Here We Are


Oh, and the chapter's title killed me instantly. Best reference ever. c:

Carter took a deep breath.

On a small plot of land, still within the walls of the city, but just at the edges, they had cleared away space for Blackfield's grave. They'd taken a few days to make arrangements. Blackfield had already had many things arranged for his inevitable death, but it still ended up taking most people by surprise.

They'd waited a few days before announcing it to the city, and before sending out news to the rest of the kingdom. They needed time to put things in order and Eliza needed time to grieve before the eyes of the world were on her.

Now, the city knew. And soon, the rest of the kingdom would know too. There would be a time for grieving, but a new king was to be crowned soon. Their kingdom had the most power and influence in the world, and that had to be secured. The longer they stayed without someone on the throne the longer they would be vulnerable.

The king had made his wishes clear, in the last few words he'd written down in his will.

Poor Eliza.


The background information on how long after the end of the last chapter this is happening was helpful, and I feel really bad for Eliza. I'd add a comma after "throne", but otherwise this part looks pretty good!

The snow was falling again, coming down in tiny little snowflakes, light, and non-threatening. There was a large stone tablet that Blackfield's stone coffin sat upon, heavy and grey, with his face engraved on the front, as a depiction of his youth - when he once appeared strong, regal, and intimidating. When his beard was full and his skin was free of sunspots and sagging.

Around his face there were carvings of his wife, who passed long ago, and Eliza. There were horses, riding off into the sunset, and armies depicted as victorious, glorious conquerors. The artist who had been commissioned to create the piece had artfully, and poetically, tried to tell Blackfield's life story.

Which, of course, meant looking over all of the failures, and all of the sufferings he caused.

Carter stood in front of the monument of stone, where Blackfield had been laid to rest. Eliza was beside him, dressed in all black. Dark, thick fur-lined her hat, her mittens, and the collar of her cloak, which hung over her shoulders and just barely hovered over the snow. Carter had exchanged his armor for a dark winter coat, but nothing quite as glamorous. Until tomorrow, he was still a soldier.

Eliza set a bouquet of red roses atop the coffin, leaving the offering of red as a harsh contrast to the grey and white around them. The tips of the petals were already beginning to frost as they sat against the cold stone.


This section has a really poetic feel to it! I think it's the descriptive, artistic language you used that gave it that feeling. Even though I don't like Blackfield, it feels a little tragic all the same. I think there's a comma missing after "[around his] face", but otherwise this is written wonderfully!

Eliza let out a deep breath.

"I read his will a dozen times," she said.

And every time, she was denied her inheritance.

"I always knew he favored you over me," she continued. "But I guess now I know for sure. Even as his only child I was never his favorite. It was always someone else."

Carter reached out to her shoulder.

"I'm so sorry it happened this way," he said softly.

Eliza glanced at him and looked away. He could hear her sniff, quietly, before she stood up straight and faced him.

"No. This is better," she said, sounding both sad, and a little bitter. "Everyone trusts you. All the soldiers. All the guilds. They'd follow you anywhere. I would have to fight just to gain respect. Over, and over, and over. It would be exhausting..."

She looked down at the coffin and sighed.

"Besides. This is what he wanted."


I haven't seen Eliza's morals quite yet, but something tells me she's at least better than her father. She definitely deserved more than this... Bad Carter. >:(

Carter pulled his hand away from her shoulder and looked her in the eyes.

"You deserve to have a say in what happens with your people. I would like you by my side, Eliza. Will you trust me?"

He held out his hand for her to take.

Eliza met his eyes, and then she looked down at his hand thoughtfully. Slowly, she reached out to take it, and they shook hands firmly.

"I trust you," she said.

Carter smiled sadly - no more than was appropriate at a funeral, but just enough for Eliza to know he was there to support her.

He was glad to have her on his side. For tomorrow, he would be crowned king.


Oh my goodness, it's the ending. And it's just as strong and exciting as I expected!

I can't wait for more, and I know it'll be just as amazing. This is exactly the kind of book I would look for on a library's bookshelves, read it over and over before I returned it, and then eventually buy my own copy of it so that I'd have it forever. Thank you, thank you, thank you for this wonderful, beautiful story. I'll always be glad I decided to read it.

Stay awesome, sound. Love ya! <3




soundofmind says...


BRO ... I CRY!!! SUCH HIGH PRAISE! To know you've enjoyed reading my story so thoroughly is a huge compliment and I'm so thankful :,)

STAY AWESOME YOURSELF!! I GO CRY HAPPY TEARS NOW!!



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Thu Jan 28, 2021 3:18 pm
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veeren says...



words will never describe the genuine roller-coaster of emotions you put me through when I finish a chapter feeling sad and anxious and then immediately burst out laughing at the title of the next chapter it is amazing and so are you and I need MORE




veeren says...


on the real it was amazing sound and I hope you have the muse to make book two in the possible near future <3



veeren says...


i promise i'll keep up with it real time this time



veeren says...


pls



soundofmind says...


BROOOOOOO omg I am so glad you enjoyed it so much and WOW YOU READ THROUGH THAT FAST



soundofmind says...


my heart is SOFT and im so glad i could make you laugh with my silly titles thats all i want in life really



soundofmind says...


ALSO YES MY PLAN IS TO TRY AND WRITE THE SEQUEL THIS YEAR!! i just have to PLAN IT AND EVERYTHING no pressure ya know



veeren says...


when I said binged I meant B I N G E D and truly it is your fault for writing such a good story. BUT YES SEQUEL PLEASE IM SO GLAD YOURE GONNA CONTINUE


also im v sad these dont have enough reviews on them and I am more than willing to fix that but I warn u I will be extremely bias due to the fact that I adore everything u do



soundofmind says...


I WOULD LOVE AND APPRECIATE ANY REVIEWS FROM U BECUZ I LOVE U AND its ok if biased i will just take it with a grain of bias

IM CURIOUS TO KNOW..... who ur fav character is.... if u hav one



veeren says...


U ASK AND U SHALL RECEIVE <3

ok so u know that feeling after u read a good book or a watch a good show or movie and you like??? base your personality off of the MC for the next few days just to hold on to the feeling of it?? that's me n James rn LOL. but FAVORITE character would have to be clanny she's just lonely and confused and want friend :((( and her heart is so pure it's hard NOT to like her : ))



soundofmind says...


CLANNY IS SUCH A VALID FAV ;-; she is just trying her best and i lov her

AND OM I KNOW THAT FEELIN UR DESCRIBING... james is such a VIBE lol that I constantly exist in... HONORED to have him occupy your headspace



veeren says...


hmmmmmmMMMM are u trying to say youre constantly masking your true self out of fear of your past catching up to u to the point that the walls u have built up would make the great wall of China cower in fear??

because I feel u



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Sat Dec 05, 2020 1:31 am
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Dossereana says...



This is a great end to the first story sound, congrats on ending the first book!! :D <33
Can't what for book 2 I bet I'm really going to in joy it.




soundofmind says...


thank you so much vulcanite!! :)



Dossereana says...


:D <33 look forward to the next book!



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Lael wrote a review...



Wowww sound, I'm so happy for you ahhhhh!! The story was so fun to read and I can't wait for book 2. It's been a while since I read the first part of the story, but I have to say that this second half that you wrote for NaNo was really well done. It was relatable and hilarious at many occasions, and all of the emotional moments were written convincingly, I could really feel like I was there and could empathize with James and Clandestine. Of course, I'm quite biased and more than a little attached from reading for so long and because of The Outlands. :P Also it feels super special that Kaia secretly made it into the story.

That ending was just *chef's kiss*. Straight out of a fantasy movie. Haha anyways, that was extra long. I just wanted to say congratulations and keep up the good work! Take a break if you need and I'm looking forward to the next amazing thing from you :)




soundofmind says...


Thank you so so much Lael! I%u2019m glad you enjoyed the humor and the Kaia cameo :,) SO HAPPY YOU LIKE THE ENDING I LOVE YOU AND IT MEANS SO MUCH THAT YOU%u2019VE BEEN READING ALONG!! THANK YOUUUUUUU




It's a dramatic situation almost every time you answer the phone—if you answer the phone.
— Matthew Weiner