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125,007 Literary Works • 672,814 Reviews
Hi-
This is a sad poem, which I hate, but it's really good. You got your main idea across well, it wasn't something buried so deep no one understands it. The only criticism I have is that half the time it rhymed, and the other half it didn't. It's not that big of a problem though.
Besides you feeling that way, which is terrible, it was a good poem. I like how you incorerated the title with the words, and ryhmed... and it sounded good! I also really liked how it connected to thoughts, or actions, or personal simple things. Well done.. I really enjoyed it.
I am sorry you feel like this and I know how you feel. I hope that it all gets better for you. If you are strong it will be easier than you not thinking you can get threw it... Just keep your head up, and talk to people you know you can trust. Or even talk to someone you dont really know but seem good with knowing certain things... or just a good person to talk to (: Vent... Poetry (for me and a lot of othes I know) is a geat way to vent and get out a lot of emotions. And the good thing is, you don't hve to get someones opionon on it... and if your confused about a certain emotion.. poetry usually helps get it out.
Keep writing because it's veryy good... and I liked it. It's very easy to connect to, and I hope that all things for you get better. (: (:
--- Hayleyyyy