Published October 18, 2010
See how we rustle and press
like two rainbow snakes
we coil into each other's flaws
our scales, now truculent and soft
can barely hold their form -
sealed in by embrace alone,
this armour we no longer need.
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139,556 Literary Works • 672,608 Reviews
Pretty good. It really does leave an image in the readers brain. And that is really what you should be looking for
Ooers! A question... are you evoking Dreamtime stories? Because I was totally thinking that as I read this, due to your imagery of the rainbow snake. Mind you, I would probably try to emphasize that mythology more (because, let's face it... Australia is kind of awesome). Right now, it only evokes Dreamtime because of the rainbow snake. But you can totally edit this!