firstly this poem is beautiful, the metaphors are strikingly original but the imagery remains clear. The flow is good too: a few flaws that come almost inevitably when u write within a rhythm and a rhyme scheme - its frustrating.
if u wanted to you could tweak the rhyme of love nest and hatred, and the last verse loses some of the powerful imagery it would have with a tighter rhyme.
i had no problem with sonogram and damned... maybe I read it differently to some of the others?
And I think it would sound better if you moved the 'all' in 'dare all' to the next line to fit the rhyme and emphasise the strength of the committment being made.
or you could leave it completely as it is and it is still really good
(my first review btw so you should probably disregard everything i said lol)
Points: 1145
Reviews: 41
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