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Young Writers Society



Excuse Me, the Word is 'Unique'

by sokool15


I pulled up to the tiny house on the‭ ‬quaint little street,‭ ‬smiling at the charming arrangements of pink and white flowers on either side of the walkway.‭ ‬A weeping willow tree drooped its branches gracefully down,‭ ‬creating a small green cave of shadow.‭

‬I parked the car on the street in front of the house and got out,‭ ‬opening the gate of the white picket fence.‭ ‬The house really wasn’t the sort of place I would have expected Vivian to live in…she was more the dark,‭ ‬gloomy mansion type.‭ ‬But perhaps her sister was different.‭ ‬Just looking at the little place made me smile.

Pulling my briefcase out of the car, I took a deep breath and started up the uneven stone path. I pushed the doorbell once, then knocked quietly for good measure. Scarcely had I done so when the door flew open and I looked down at a very young, very pretty woman in a flowered apron, black jeans and a blue tank top. She seemed to be looking past me, and her first words were evidence that she did not see who I was.

"Vivian! Thank goodness you've come! It's nearly six o'clock and..."

Her light, mellow voice trailed away as she turned her eyes toward me. Green eyes widened in shock and she involuntarily started to close the door. Then she shook her head, stopping herself. She pulled the door all the way open and stood looking at me, twisting one honey-colored lock of hair around her slender finger.

"Oh! I'm...I'm so sorry, sir. I thought you were..."

"Vivian. I know. Is Miss Vivian not here, then?"

The lovely young woman flushed slightly. "No. No, she's not here. She had some urgent errands to run, she said, but she'll be back in about an hour. If you'd care to come in..."

"Of course! Thank you," I answered, feeling the call of the wonderful smells that wafted from the open doorway. She stood aside and let me pass through, taking my coat and briefcase and putting them on the coatrack near the door. I watched her movements, graceful and light, and found myself grinning foolishly. She turned to face me again, and twisted her hands together in a nervous gesture. She was, it seemed, extremely shy.

"I'm so sorry, miss. I am Doctor Jeremy Godfrey, but you can call me Jim. I came to talk to your sister about her unique dilemma," I said, feeling that someone needed to break the ice.

The woman smiled and bobbed her head in recognition. "Yes, my sister warned me that you were coming. She told me you were here for dinner...does that still stand?"

"Yes, if the offer still stands."

She smiled at my answer. "The offer is intact. It is my sister's politeness that is in ruins. I am Amber, Vivian's sister. She probably spoke of me to you."

"Er...yes, she did, now that you mention it. She said you were a wonderful cook." I grinned back at her.

"Yes, it's one of my few talents," she said, a slight frown passing over her features. But the next moment it was banished and a polite, shy smile was once more in place. "Please, come in and eat. My sister said not to wait for her."

‭"Very well, then...we will not," I answered. We walked into the kitchen, and I found that I was going to have a long evening ahead of me. It was going to be hard to think and speak intelligently while in the same room with Amber.

‭***

‭Vivian stared into the rear-view mirror of her sleek, cherry red sports car. She hated the car, but it ‭was part of the role she played tonight. Forty-five minutes' drive from her sister's place, her tiny, stylish car sat outside one of the largest mansions in the county. It was nothing compared with some of the castles and other places Vivian had worked in, but it was impressive nonetheless.

‭It was always strange for Vivian to look into the mirror and see and entirely different person each time. It was one of the blessings - and one of the curses - of being invisible. She could never know what she really looked like, but she could create new faces for herself whenever she liked, using the various pots, brushes and mirrors that made up her huge stores of makeup.

‭Vivian dabbed a tiny dot of dark brown, waterproof mascara on one eyelash. Her reflection was that of an exotic Spanish princess, adorned in various bright necklaces, long, dangling green earrings and a fringed green and red gown. Her eyes were covered by large, black-tinted contacts. Watching her dusky skin of makeup glowed in the dim light of the moon that shone into the sleek little car, and Vivian smiled. Her teeth were covered with a light coating of white color, recently acquired from the dentist. By simply chewing a piece of the right color of candy, Vivian was able to obtain a temporary color on her tongue. She was ready.

‭Stepping out of the car, Vivian tossed the locks of her long, black wig behind her and strode forward, long, slim legs covering the long path up to the house with ease. At the door, a pompous doorman looked her up and down, impressed, but still held out his hand, demanding an invitation.

‭"I'm here visiting from Spain, and I heard that Mr. Franks was hosting a party here. I thought it would be good to introduce myself to some of the higher American society."

Vivian smiled at the doorman, and the voice issuing from her lips had lost all trace of the drawling, languid English accent she had earlier spoken with. Instead, the trace of a sultry Spanish accent hung in her voice, and every word she spoke, no matter how commonplace, sounded seductive.

‭"Ah, yes, and your name?" demanded the doorman, who was unused to being flirted with, but found it not an unpleasant experience.

‭"My name is Viviana Hidalgo. Please, I have no invitation, but I will keep our secret. I will tell no one." Vivian winked at the doorman.

‭"Oh...very well. But hurry up. Everyone else is already there!"

‭Vivian smiled a cat's smile - wide and satisfied. "Perfect."

‭The wide double doors opened into a marble coatroom, where Vivian left her green-fringed coat. Then she was led by a tall, rather handsome man in a stiff suit to a large dining room. It was filled with the 'higher society' of America - mostly wealthy businessmen and their wives, as well as several distinguished emissaries from various other countries. The host and hostess were seated at a table at the other end of the room, and when Vivian entered, they both stood up, surprised expressions on their faces.

‭"Good Mr. and Mrs. Franks, do pardon the intrusion," said Vivian. "I was held up by traffic."

‭Mr. Franks, a middle aged, portly gentleman nodded jovially. "All very well, my dear, come in."

‭He seemed to be stuck, not sure whether to ask her name or not. "Er, have we met, Miss...?"

‭Vivian smiled briefly. "Alas, no, sir...I would have remember meeting you." With a wink and a nod, Vivian strolled over to an empty seat at the end of the table. The talk and chatter soon started up again, although many mens' eyes strayed to the exotic Spanish woman who sat at the end of one of the tables.

‭Vivian spoke with the others at her table, making herself agreeably seductive to the men and just friendly to the women. Dessert had not yet been served when Vivian stood, smiling.

‭"Forgive me...I will return momentarily."

‭Another woman stood. "Miss Hidalgo, I will accompany you."

‭Vivian nodded, smiling. The two women moved out of the room, and Vivian's companion let out a sigh of relief. "Oh, bother. I hate these social gatherings. The only place to escape from the stuffy bore of it all is in the bathroom. Er...that is, I assume, where you're going, is it not?"

‭Vivian raised one delicately arched eyebrow and looked down at the woman. "What, madam, is your name?"

‭"I'm Susanna Levington, sister of one of the most successful businessmen in the West. Ah, here's the ladies' room."

‭Suited to the majestic splendor of the house, the bathroom was beautiful blue-grey marble, with silver filigree on the mirrors, and potted plants dotting the entire area and lending an air of exotic fragrance. Vivian stepped up to the mirror, pulling a makeup box out of her purse. As soon as Susanna had stepped into a stall, however, Vivian thrust it back into her bag. Taking off her beaded shoes, she gently set them in the wastebasket. She looked around to make sure there were no fingerprints, quietly walked out, closing the door and locking it with a hard thrust of her skeleton key.

‭"Susanna's problem...solved. No boredom tonight," Vivian whispered to herself as she strode barefoot, cat-quiet down the hallways. Searching through her memory, Vivian visualized the map her boss had shown her of the interior of the house. Pinpointing her location, she opened her eyes and hurried off, keeping a sharp lookout for servants or other guests.

‭After walking quickly through the halls for ten minutes, winding through the luxurious passageways, Vivian stopped in front of a tall, locked door. On the ceiling was a security camera. Vivian looked directly into it, smiling. Then she pulled a scarf out of her purse and threw it over the camera.

‭Picking the lock on the door posed no problem for Vivian, and she let herself into the large room. She walked directly over to the tall jewelry cabinet on the other side of the room, pulled it open and swiftly sorted through the drawers. There were many, many different kinds of jewelry; diamond earrings, pearl necklaces, large precious stones set in gold rings - but the only thing Vivian took was a thin golden chain on which hung a tiny, sparkling diamond, like a teardrop frozen in time.

‭Vivian put the necklace carefully into her handbag, went to the large window and pulled aside the curtains. A tree just outside the window provided the perfect ladder for Vivian to climb down and land safely on the ground. She brushed off her dressed and walked hurriedly across the lawn, bare feet making no noise on the stones of the pathway.

‭Reaching her car, she pulled open the door and threw herself in, thrust it into reverse and stepped on the gas. A quick acceleration soon had her flying along the long driveway backwards at sixty miles an hour. As soon as she reached the road, she wrenched the wheel around and the tires squealed as she took off down the highway. In a matter of seconds she was scorching at ninety miles per hour down the highway. Several sirens wailed in the distance behind her, but her only reaction was to floor the gas pedal and spurt forward even faster.

‭Whizzing along the highway, Vivian kept a nonchalant air, whistling a little tune as she sucked at the coloring on her teeth, trying to get it off. She reached up one hand and pulled off the long black wig, throwing into the back seat. Now the top of her head was gone, and she laughed, shaking her own invisible hair free.

‭"Ah, bad Vivian. Got a little carried away, did we?" Vivian asked herself, shaking her head. "Almost missed the turn." Her voice had once more regained its languid British accent.

‭She put both of her carefully colored hands on one side of the steering wheel and wrenched it all the way around. The car turned abruptly sideways and slid for five yards, tires complaining noisily and sending up streams of smoke. Coolly, Vivian surveyed the flashing colored lights that were steadily approaching.

‭"Pretty, aren't they? Too bad we can't see them up close," Vivian twisted her glossy lips in a sarcastic smile. Twisting the wheel back around, she accelerated the car again, straight off the road into a field of corn. The car bumped and bounced along for twenty yards, then Vivian slammed both feet on the brake pedal and allowed the poor, abused car to come to an abrupt halt. Vivian smiled, sitting in the silence for a moment, watching little little lines of smoke rising from the tires.

‭The door swung open and Vivian stepped out, her dusky brown bare feet touching the ground between crushed cornstalks. Grabbing her small purse, she drew the diamond necklace carefully out of it, then tossed the purse on the ground. She pulled the necklace over her head, then strode swiftly around to the back of the car. Opening the trunk, she took out a large bucket of watery pink fluid smelling of strawberries. She wrinkled her nose as she lifted it out and set it on the ground.

‭Vivian pulled the beautiful green dress over her head and tossed it into the trunk of the car. She made a strange sight, the bottoms of her legs and her arms, part of her chest and her face painted dusky brown, and the rest of her completely invisible.

‭Taking the bucket, she pulled off the top and unceremoniously dumped the entire thing over her body. The makeup immediately started to run down her face and legs, creating brown rivulets all over her skin. She reached into the trunk again for a towel and mopped the remainder of the makeup off her face. She rubbed it across her legs and arms, then tossed the towel back into the car. The now-invisible woman's presence was marked only by the diamond necklace floating through the air.

‭"I, who am about to kill you, salute you. You had a good accelerator," Vivian remarked to the cherry red sports car. The car seemed to be waiting apprehensively, not knowing what was coming next. Vivian smiled.

‭A match tossed into the fuel tank provided the necessary combustion, and Vivian ran as fast as she could, stopping only momentarily to watch the explosion. Then she turned and continued to run, through the fields that bordered the outside of the little town in which her sister lived.

‭***


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49 Reviews


Points: 890
Reviews: 49

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Tue Jun 05, 2007 8:00 pm
scrambled_pages wrote a review...



Hi, thanks for the PM :D

I loved it! The characters are really starting to become people in my eyes, usually it takes me a lot of time, or several re-readings before I can really seperate a character from all the others. I really like Amber... I wonder if she knows what Vivian is up to...

"It was always strange for Vivian to look into the mirror and see and entirely different person each time. It was one of the blessings - and one of the curses - of being invisible. She could never know what she really looked like, but she could create new faces for herself whenever she liked, using the various pots, brushes and mirrors that made up her huge stores of makeup."
I hadn't even thought of how unsettling it must be not to know what you lok like, that was great!

"‭Picking the lock on the door posed no problem for Vivian"
Why is that, did she have lock picks with her, does she do it all of the time... ok well that might be giving too much away, but I would love to know why its so easy for her.

-Gen




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Points: 890
Reviews: 61

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Mon Jun 04, 2007 4:21 am
BrokenSword wrote a review...



Hooray, chapter 3!

I really like this story, and I know it's a good one when I lose track of time while reading it. :D I love it when that happens!

I looked down at a very young, very pretty woman in a flowered apron, black jeans and a blue tank top. She was facing away from me, but from her profile she seemed very lovely. Her words, however, surprised me.


I was kind of confused here, because why would she be looking away from him if she's answering the door? What would she be looking at other than the visitor?

"Er...yes, she did, now that you mention it. She said you cooked wonderfully."


Sounds better as:

"she said you're a wonderful cook."


It was going to be hard to think and speak intelligently while in the same room with Amber.


Put a "to" in there.

Opening the trunk, she took out a large bucket of fluid.


I thought this sounded kind of weird. If it's not water, you could mention the color of the fluid such as "a green substance" or something. It's just me, but it sounded odd. *nitpicky*

Her voice had once more regained its' languid British accent.


Extra apostrophe in there.

The makeup immediately started to run down her face and legs, creating brown rivulets [s]of makeup[/s] all over her skin.


I don't think you need the second "makeup" in there.

Wonderful story! I love reading it. More please!! :D





Il faut imaginer Sisyphe heureux (One must imagine Sisyphus happy).
— Albert Camus, The Myth of Sisyphus