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a purple rose in the rain

by sofiethefirst


it had started to rain when they were out walking early in the morning. she would look up at him, before he took her hand, and pulled her with him. they ran fast to try and avoid the wet drops that were pouring down from above. they ran past all the old stores, with the broken windows they had been looking through earlier in that early morning.

when they ran past the flower shop, she let go of his hand, stopped in her tracks, and looked at all the difference flowers that were outside of the small shop. they were all being hit by the drops of water.

he looked at her admiring the flowers. her eyes were locked on the purple rose, that were hidden in between the tulips, Daisy’s, sunflowers, orchids and the original red roses. he took the purple rose out of the group, and placed it behind her right ear. she looked up at him, and their eyes met. he had never seen her face shine more than in that moment, under the sunrise at 5 am, in the pouring rain, and with that smile on her face, that he lived for. he took her face in his hands, and kissed her. their lips moved in sync with each other.

as the sound of thunder moved over the city of New York, they looked up above them, as a lighting showed itself on the sky. she looked deep into his eyes, before she pulled him out of his thoughts, as she took his hand and began to run home.

peace and love, 

sofie.


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51 Reviews


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Sat Jan 30, 2021 1:39 pm
MailicedeNamedy wrote a review...



Hi sofiethefirst,

this story is very beautiful despite its short length. Perhaps because of this brevity, the emotions are also stronger to feel. You only have to imagine yourself in this situation with someone and your heart beats faster :) It is very relaxing to read.

I'm not one to complain about little things like that, and I don't want to seem like a teacher. :D There is no capitalisation at the beginning of the sentences, that sometimes made me think of the full stop as a comma. I suppose it had something to do with the keyboard, though. But that's really only a tiny criticism.

On the whole, the text is nice to read and sparkles with optimism and good humour.
Mailice.




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Thu Dec 31, 2020 5:40 pm
HarryHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! Here to leave a quick review :)

First Impression: This was a nice little short story. Not too much happening in it, but I do think its a really fun and sweet little story that's just trying to show this beautiful image rather than really telling too much.

Anyway let's get right to it,

it had started to rain when they were out walking early in the morning. she would look up at him, before he took her hand, and pulled her with him. they ran fast to try and avoid the wet drops that were pouring down from above. they ran past all the old stores, with the broken windows they had been looking through earlier in that early morning.


Usually not one to really nitpick about grammar stuff but I think you've forgotten to put any capitals in this and I think I want to just point that out really quickly because I don't know if its a choice you made on purpose. Because usually you do have to capitalize the first word of every sentence.

And about the story itself I think its a decent opening paragraph, it lets us know what's going on and we know the basics of where they are and what they are doing which is good.

when they ran past the flower shop, she let go of his hand, stopped in her tracks, and looked at all the difference flowers that were outside of the small shop. they were all being hit by the drops of water.


That's a pretty cool little image that you've chosen to freeze there. I love the description of the water hitting the flowers.

he looked at her admiring the flowers. her eyes were locked on the purple rose, that were hidden in between the tulips, Daisy’s, sunflowers, orchids and the original red roses. he took the purple rose out of the group, and placed it behind her right ear. she looked up at him, and their eyes met. he had never seen her face shine more than in that moment, under the sunrise at 5 am, in the pouring rain, and with that smile on her face, that he lived for. he took her face in his hands, and kissed her. their lips moved in sync with each other.


Aww...now that is a really sweet scene there. Its described really well and very easy to imagine and I love the idea behind the whole thing. Its just a lovely snapshot of time almost the way you've described it.

as the sound of thunder moved over the city of New York, they looked up above them, as a lighting showed itself on the sky. she looked deep into his eyes, before she pulled him out of his thoughts, as she took his hand and began to run home.


Aand that's a lovely place to end. Definitely leaves you with a really nice imagine in your head there. Great place to end.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Overall it was a really fun story to read like I said and not too much happened so I really don't have much else to say.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry




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Wed Dec 30, 2020 5:51 pm
grainne wrote a review...



This story seems very artsy almost like poetry! There are a few places where I think you might be able to flesh out the feelings of the characters a little more so that the story is relatable and we immediately care what is happening. I'm also curious why the girl ran home in the end! What were her motivations, and what does that mean for their relationship? Great work, and keep on writing!





Generally speaking, a howling wilderness does not howl: it is the imagination of the traveler that does the howling.
— Henry David Thoreau