I was an ordinary sockmonkey once, well i guess thats not the right way to put it.I am a normal sockmonkey but life was far from normal.you dont' see many sockmonkeys saving kids from child laborers but im' getting ahead of the train here lots of things have happened in the past 2 months 1 week 14 days 9 hours and 36 seconds to be exact.for i am evveret the sockmonkey.
It all started becuase of me and it was fixed because of me.me and lucas we were an inseparable pair like robin and batman or mustard and ketchup okay that last one sounded kind of akward forget one.lucas was never very populaur with the kids he didnt' wear 10' thick glasses or beg for extre homework hes' not clark kent if thats what your thinking.he was just an average kid.there were two prime motives for the resentment of his class[unreasonable ones at that] his voicebox hadnt' matured and he had a sockmonkey at 9 years old.you might be wondering why someone would expect a kid to have a deep voice.my guess is that they were all heldback 5 times but what do i know im' a sockmonkey not a schoolboy.I was what made his life happy.we played together long into the weekends, but i was never seen walking or talking.lucas knew my secret but he didnt' freak out about it and call the science patrol,is the science patrol real we watched ultraman alot?sometimes this little red haired girl would come over which i will elaborate on when i get farther into the story...
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,798 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm Knight Hardy here on a mission to ensure that all works on YWS has at least two reviews. You will probably never see this but....Imma do this anyway.
Anyway let's get right to it,
ALright, so well first I must confess this is a bit of an odd story here...I haven't ever heard the term sockmonkey before and from searching all I can found a reference to was some kind of toy..so I dunno if this is from the POV of one of those toys going around doing something or if this is a word that you coined specifically for the story.
Ignoring that for a bit and thinking this is just a person, we've got a fairly intriguing beginning here. Its a bit of a rushed piece there with perhaps a bit too much crammed in there considering how small the paragraph is, but we do have an interesting premise there. Anyone going around rescuing child laborers sounds like a story that I'd read.
Hmm...this one kind of went in a very meandering direction here...I can't really pinpoint where you're trying to go with this part of the prologue. You seem to be attempting to talk about this person's own experiences, this friendship with another person...who may or may not also be a sockmonkey, its not quite clear. There's also talk of some troubles that were experienced by this other person but it kind of goes all over the place at that point, where it really seems to lack a clear direction. I see that you've given up on the story..but if you wanted to rewrite it, taking a good look at that second part is a great place to start...it seems to have tried to do so much that it kind of imploded on itself leaving a few confusing lines of things that seem a bit disconnected from one another.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Okay I actually don't' plans for what to do with this so just ignore this failure attempt at me writing a book involving sockmonkies.
I hereby condemn this book till' further notice.I have plans for what to do with this.
I did not mean to leave that blank post and unfortunately i cannot find the edit button.
Alright, I'm MasterLHeart and I'll be your reviewer on today. And I'll say this has protentail but I didn't like it all to greatly. Reasons being this was really short and I prefer to normally read long stories, another reason is that there was no physical description of the character's in this story. It makes it REALLY hard to imagine sometimes, another reason was some of the terms you used in this story "sockmonkey" you should elaborate on. Is it a kind of slave or something? a playmate? I don't know, another reason being that grammer wasn't exactly good here. Like theres a space after a period and "im" should have a comma between the I and M, also all I's are capital and arn't when there placed with words like "it", "is", "in" and other words like that. But otherwise this work has some real potential, This has been MasterLHeart with your review and have a nice day.
MasterLHeart.