Published September 4, 2011
Mr. Perfect is an honest man,
always helping people as much as he can.
Mr. Perfect has a perfect job listening to people mope,
and talking through their problems in order to help them cope.
Mr. Perfect has a pearly smile,
but I know what daddy likes to do to me every once in a while.
Mr. Perfect Daddy tucks me into bed at night,
but sometimes touches me in ways that don't feel right.
Mr. Perfect's wife is really pretty,
though she won't listen to me when I tell her Daddy is filthy.
Sure he speaks his honest words and smiles his perfect smile,
but Mr. Perfect Daddy isn't perfect all the while.
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138,271 Literary Works • 672,093 Reviews
i love how you woke up in the middle of the night and how spontaneous this was.
)
GOOD JOB!!!
In my opion you described perfectly well the feelings of your character. The irony in it is brilliant. You have the ability to make us feel like we are in the story, not just reading it. Like we are in the character's shoes. You truly have a gift. Believe me, I just got no words. Keep giving us the pleasure to read your stories.
wow...what a hard hitting topic to write about. I really liked that you were brave enough to choose this topic. I would have been good if the poem was longer though
I really like this poem. I haven't read any of your others though. Reading this, its just got a very powerful message. From the title I just assumed it would be another romance poem (nothing bad about those) about the guy being perfect or not turning out to be or something. I was really surprised when it transformed into something so different.
I understood everything but there was one little thing that confused me:
I didn't get what you were trying to say in the second line of that verse. Not at all... But apart from that the poem was so great!!!
My favourite verse has to be the end one:
I love how you sum it up so well and everything. Sends shivers down my spine. Great job!
Deanie x
Hi there!
Wow! So, i haven't read any of your other works, but i saw the spoiler at the end. Its awesome you feel strongly about a topic like this.
Now, onto the poem- again, wow.
I was not in any way expecting the intensity your writing brought on. I thought, "mr.perfect...looks like it would be a cute read" but i got halfway through and my stomach sank as i realized what was really going on.
This is captivating, how you reel the reader in with a seemingly normal fantasy and then flip the cards so suddenly. Also, your spelling and grammer seems to be in check too.
Keep writing, you have a gift!
-Briggsy