sitting by the window question life wondering if im okay wondering if im alright.children gone all my life i was only sitting by the window side. sitting by the window watching seasons pass seeing the children grow like weeds in summer.sitting by the window.now i'm 99 and im dying still sitting by the window side and i realize i am okay i am alright
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Thank you so much for the reviews its my first time using young writers society and usually I use websites that have word put in to it automatically so its easier to have a structure. I will be writing a newly revised one of these in the poem section. Thanks for your opinions!!!
I agree with HomeschooledTeen. You don't have to capitalize anything--many people don't, when it comes to poetry. Some poets even make a point of not capitalizing anything. The layout, however, needs to change.
The way you have it here, it's hard to follow. Words and sentences run together. There's no structure, so I have trouble even seeing that it's a poem. How do I know it's not a paragraph?
To differentiate, you use line spacing. Something like what Teen suggested works very well, and now I can see things clearly! It's your choice, though--it would be good to play around for yourself, to see what you like.
As always, take advice into account and then decide what you want.
This was actually very good. Good word choice (Love the title by the way) good rhythm, good flow. The only thing wrong, at least in my opinion, is the small lack of grammar and line structure. It's good, but without any line structure it's a very fast read and also reads more like a story than a poem. And the lack of grammar makes it look a little sloppy, I'm sorry for putting it like that but that's my opinion.
Sitting by the window
question (was this supposed to be questioning?) life
wondering if I'm okay
wondering if I'm alright.
Children gone
all my life
I was only sitting
by the window side.
Sitting by the window
watching seasons pass
seeing the children grow
like weeds in summer.
Sitting by the window.
Now I'm 99 and I'm dying
still sitting by the window side
and
I realize
I am okay
I am alright.
Now, I'm not saying that you should do it like this I'm just giving you that as an example. Happy Writing, and good job!