One Year Social Experiment of a Teenager Chapt. 2

Awesome! I really like this! Most of my nit-pics have already been mentioned by 322sivart, so I'll just give you my overall impression. I actually think you've improved since your prologue and chapter 1! I always like the dialogue between your characters - When I write I always like to inject as much sarcasm and irony into it as possible, and wit is a winner! But in the first chapter it just seemed to be a lot of talk, and it began to get the slightest bit tedious after a while. I think your writing style improved though, and I think that you can still put some more description into your writing. Use more showing rather than telling. We like your MC, so tell us more about what's going on in your head! A little more detail would make it perfect!
P.S. Just out of interest, you say that it's P.E, not Gym Class (like in America), so where is this actually set? Just wondering
Well done, will gladly review your next chapters

I love these chapters xD
Im so hyped up to find out who her real mother is and why she is acting so weird (:
Good work, keep writing this book or whatever xD

Hey Smash,
I'll give you my nit-picks first, and then give you my overall opinion of your work.

Hester Borone #FF0000 ">Wow. What a name! blew long andhard on her whistle until all of the girls in her P.E. class assembled in the middle of the room.
“Ladies, it took far too long for you to get changed. You should be in and out in literally two minutes! Am I understood?”
“Yes, coach!” we chanted back.
“Good. Now I want everyone who was born in the first half of the year on this side of the room, and the leftovers on the other side. Go!” Everyone rushed to their side of the gym as fast as they could so that Ms.#FF0000 ">I think you should write that out as "Miss". Borone wouldn’t give them a whipping #FF0000 ">A whipping?. Unfortunately for me, Nellie-May is also born in the first half of the year, so we were on the same side.
“We’re never going to win with the Loser on our team.”
“Nellie-May, I hope it’s not yourself to whom you’re referring. I would hate to see you with such low self-esteem.”
“I was talking about you, loser.”
“Well perhaps next time you talk about someone you should specify who it is exactly so that people don’t think you’re a moron by talking about yourself in third person.”
“What? That didn’t make any sense!”
“Oh, no! You are a moron, my mistake.” She gave me a look of disgust. Yes! Ellie, one, Nellie-May, zero. #FF0000 ">Very nice. A little cliche, but I like it.
“Girls, stop bickering or I’ll have you sent to the principal’s office! Now, are we ready to play dodge ball?” Before anyone could reply, Ms. Borone had blown the whistle and we all rushed to the centre to grab a ball. Nellie-May grabbed a ball before I could and purposefully threw it at my head.
“Ouch!”I glared at her.
“Oops, sorry, that was aimed at the other team,” she said, pretending to be completely innocent.
“Well I guess your aim is about as good as your insults.” She gritted her teeth and threw another ball at me, this time hitting me in the face.
“What’s your problem?”
“You’re my problem, you little freak!” She threw yet a third ball at me, but I managed to dodge it.
“That’s it!” I picked up the ball closest to me and hit her in the face with it. She fell to the ground, exaggerating the damage I’d done. She clamped her hand over her nose.
“I think it might be broken!” she said, taking her hands away from her face and checking them for blood.
“Oh please, though I’m extremely strong, my throw wasn’t that hard. If that hurt then your arm should be broken from the balls you threw at me.” She frowned and opened her mouth, shocked. Suddenly much better, she got up from her spot on the ground and came over to me.
“You little bitch!” She gave me a little poke in the chest on the word ‘bitch’. I poked her back. She shoved me, I returned it. She pushed me again, a little more forcefully this time. I pushed her to the ground and she started punching me. I did the same.
We started pulling hair and biting each other. She started calling me all these different names as I punched her.
This was the first physical fight I had ever been in, and though it hurt it was the most fun I’d ever had!
“Ladies, that’s enough!” Ms. Borone said, pulling as apart. “Principal’s office, now!” We grudgingly got up and walked off the court toward the principal’s office.
“This is your fault,” Nellie-May said to me, crossing her arms.
“Excuse me? You were the one that hit me first!” I replied, crossing my own arms. I quickly uncrossed them when I realised our stance was the same.
“But it would never have happened if… Never mind.” I could tell that she knew something that she wasn’t telling me. It was like she had prepared to tell me a secret but decided against it.
“If what?” I asked.
“Nothing, it isn’t your business.” She pursed her lips like I would try to pry the words from her.
“Okay, whatever. Race you to the office.” #FF0000 ">How old are these girls? "Race you to the office" just seems out of place. It wasn’t like I was excited about getting there, but I wanted to stop talking to her. I bolted in the direction of the principal’s office and after a moment of hesitation, she came running up behind me. We ran all the way to Mr Murray’s office and walked in puffing.
“Ladies, what on earth are you doing?” he asked once we had sat down.
“We ran all the way here,” I replied.
“Not that, I mean why were you fighting in gym class?”
“It’s P.E. sir, not gym class. We’re not in America.” He frowned at me. I rolled my eyes. “She threw a ball at my head.”
“Nellie-May, is this correct?” Nellie-May nodded.
“But it wasn’t my fault. She…” Again, she was about to say something, but stopped herself.
“What did she do?” Mr Murray asked kindly, trying to get Nellie-May to tell him. She shook her head. “Nellie, if you don’t tell me, I’m just going to have to assume it was your fault.”
“But it wasn’t my fault! It was my mother’s fault.”
“Your mother’s? How so?” She shook her head again. Mr Murray sighed. “Is it about your real mother, or your adopted mother?” I gasped. Adopted mother? Nellie-May was adopted? Nellie-May glanced at me.
“My real mother.”
“And you know who your real mother is?” Mr Murray asked. Nellie-May was silent. Mr Murray sighed again. “I’m going to let you both off with a warning, but try to get along. You have a lot in common.” I opened my mouth to protest.
“You have no idea,” Nellie-May said, getting up and leaving the office. I stayed behind.
“Off you go, Ellie,” Mr Murray said, turning to some papers on his desk.
“Sir, I have a question,” I said, not moving.
“I’m afraid I can’t tell you who her real mother is,” he said, reading my thoughts. I sighed and got up to leave.
“I will find out.”
“I have faith in you. That doesn’t mean I’m going to tell you.” I sighed and left his office.