Blue
Blue
a color, a word, an emotion
a whirlpool of water enticing us on
a light burning late into the night
a dusty foot print in a long forgotten hall
this is Blue
Why is Color Green?
Why is color green,
growth or new life?
The freshly budding tree,
in a field of ashes.
Why is color green
Go or speed on?
The patter of little feet
to the calls of "Green, Red, Green!"
Why is color green
fever or illness?
The bowl by the bed,
occasionally filling.
Why is color green?
What does it even mean?
Maybe a mystery,
or is it plain for you and I to see?
Red haiku
Red is a color.
Wait, what is a haiku really?
Can I be finished?
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141,286 Literary Works • 674,333 Reviews
Very nice! I especially like the first poem, as a whole.
Some Nitpicks:
1. In the first poem you shouldn't have punctuation at the end. The rest of the poem follows a no-punctuation-capitilize-the-important-words scheme, so I feel the poem would flow better if you finished it with, "this is blue" or "this is Blue"
2. In the second poem you have punctuation, so there shouldn't be any exceptions. It should read, "To the calls of "Green, Red, Green!"
3. The second poem flows well until the last four lines. From there it seems it got a little choppy.
4. The "Red haiku" made me laugh, though the second line is missing a comma after Wait.
Otherwise I very much liked this work and would award it six of ten stars. Keep writing!
Thank you that was a very helpful review.
Awesome! I loved that little haiku down the bottom, how you started on the subject and then went onto something completely different.
This isn't really that big of a deal, but in the blue poem you should probably use capital letters for each line. And I didn't understand the 'Why' is the colour green? 'What' is the colour green would sound better.
Nothing wrong with this apart from those two, well done!
Thank you for the review and I will change them to capitals for the Blue poem. for the green poem i was trying to make it more mysterious