Moms can be annoying.
They never listen to your view.
They never even hear you.
Their arguments aren't logical.
They think your evidence is mythogical.
Moms treat you like crud,
They're total sticks in the mud.
I don't like my mom right now,
'cause if my brothers make the slightest "ow"
I get punished and they get attention,
and did I forget to mention:
They made the slightest "ow"
and I'm on my bed right now.
So yes, moms can be annoying.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,734 Reviews
Haha, that's really funny. I can get really angry at my mother sometime too. I liked this poem till I got to the end where you said:
"I'm on my bed right now.
So, yes moms can be annoying."
It doesn't rhyme and it messes up the flow of the poem. I know I'm very critical but I believe you can make it work. Other than that it was fine. So, keep up the good work! Keep writing and never get discouraged!
~Keepwriting
I meant to put a line before that one, but I forgot.
Thanks for reminding me :}
Hurray! great job hermano, you made the spotlight!
This feels so true for me. Moms can be annoying and overbearing but you have to remember that they usually have the best intentions in mind.
Yeah I know, I was upset at the time, so I wrote this while I was on my bed, that's all.
Hey, this is so cool! I really think you did a good job with the writing, and just the whole situation of this made me smile. Now based off the words you used and in your order, I would guess this would be from the POV of a little kid, and not a teenager. (like Myself) If you wanted to do it from that POV, I would recommend you use more efficient and adult words. Also, I completely understand the brothers part, I have 7 of them! Not counting sisters, lol. Anyway, Nice job!
Thanks for the review! My target audience are my little brothers, so I don't use words that would be harder for them to read yet. Btw I have 8 not counting sisters, so you really do understand XD
This is so funny. I totally get where you're coming from bro but I've got to say this poem about you being angry at your mom actually made me smile. I thought it was pretty funny and just the little laugh I needed to pick me up. However, I would like some review points so I'm gonna have to critique.
You spelled mythological wrong. You left out the L and the O. Key parts of the word. Fix that and you've got a pretty good poem. Keep writing!
MyersTylerT, Thanks for the review. I spelled it that way on purpose so it doesn't mess up the flow.
Hello again!
I'm here to review
So get ready
While I explain to you
I totally get you man
She is pretty weird
She is like a adrenalin junky
And being angry gets her geared
She is my mom too after all
She is frustrating and harsh
Trying to wade through her arguments
Is like attempting to rollerblade in a marsh
She twists everything around too much
When she argues with dad
She wants us all to pick sides
It's pretty bad
But brother of mine
she has her good sides too
When she tries really hard
To do something for me or you
She makes an effort at least
To get along well
But she has the wrong methods
And we are drowned under the swell
In school we are taught
To make our arguments strong
Her are so weak
And of course they're usually wrong
She uses no 'proof from the text'
Her use of the word 'incorrect'
Usually applies to us
And usuing words, our responses she dissects
If you are going to tell me I am not right
Give me a reason why
Because just saying 'go to your room'?
I can tell you didn't try
You did well on this work
So again Nathan I'm saying I agree
Your writing is getting good
And I really like your poetry
I will read your poems
If you listen to what I have to say
So here it is:
Keep on Writing
Rae just stop trying DX
Pigeon poop is the best way to solve problems.
%u2014 Pompadour
Se Senor
Um Nate, it's "Si', not 'se'
Learn your Spanish already man!
No thanks I'm too lazy
Umm... Tu vas perezoso... I think...
HAHAHA I can relate to this so much! Great poem!
The story of my life :p Loved it!
Thx