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Young Writers Society



I was Taken

by slytherinseeker


A short while ago I had an assignment to odo about a book called 'Parvana'.

And during the book her father goes to prison and evntually is let out.

The book does not say what happened when he went to prison, so we had to write it out ourselves. I have callen it 'I Was Taken'

I was taken.

They took me from my family. Away from my home.

They took me to their prison. It was terrible.

I thought I was going to die, slowly.

I was arrested by the Taliban. This is my story.

I was talking to my children at home when the Taliban busted in. They found out about my education, thought I was dangerous you see.

But anyway my family tried to help me but they only got hit themselves. That me made angry, you won’t like it when I’m angry.

They dragged me outside. The last thing I remembered was a big plank of wood.

I woke up, I don’t know how long later. I had a headache but I don’t thing it was from lying on the hard, wet floor.

I looked around me, I was caged in with another two people.

I was in prison!

‘Well this can’t be too good’, I said to myself.

The people I shared the cell with didn’t talk at all. They were about my age and build. It was only now that I saw their tongues were cut out. Somehow I doubt they were given an anesthetic. Then I discovered they couldn’t hear.

I was awake in the cell for about ten minutes until I was dragged into a small room.

‘Why did you study in England?’, ‘What have you been doing back in Afghanistan?’, ‘Have you taught others?’. Heaps of questions were piling out of the soldiers mouths. I kept mine shut.

There was a Taliban in the corner, he was grinning.

My shirt was taken off and my hands were bound and hung above me. The Taliban in the corner said, ‘I’m going to enjoy watching you die. He came up to me and held up a small object. I remember using one in England. It was an electric razor, but this razor had bigger blades. He was going to shave my skin off.

I was right.

I yelled as loud as I could, it hurt.

The Taliban was getting angry that I wasn’t spilling the beans, ‘You one ugly mother f*#*%&’, once he said that he was pleased, like a kid that swore to try to make himself more popular, then he continued the shaving.

They did more and more pain inflicting things to my body.

A Taliban spoke, ‘You are brave, pain will not make you tell us the truth. You do this for your family do you not? Yes, I enjoyed hitting that little girl, she thought she was so brave.’

I pulled with all my strength to get out of the bound my hands were in, so I could kill the Taliban. But it was no use. The rope was too strong.

The Taliban continued ,‘You have stamina, I like that. I’m starting to get the feeling you will never tell us no matter what the cost. Even if you never see your family again. I have something special for you’.

When I first saw what it was I nearly yelled, screamed, cried, whatever, I was terrified.

It was a recorded video of my family, with the Taliban. They were going to kill them off one by one while I watch. I was going to tell the Taliban whatever they wanted until I noticed something. There was a line that flicked past every once and a while from the middle of the picture, rec flashed in the top right corner, my wife was trying not to look terrified, The light from my window changed shades too often. It had to be, the tape was edited.

My family were alive, I watched the video and was amazed how far technology had come these days. But that was it. My family was safe, that’s all I needed to know.

A few minutes later a soldier got out a needle. ‘Your going to feel a little tight’, said the soldier,’ Once you tell us what we want to know I’ll inject this serum. It’ll release you and you’ll live to fight another day’.

Once it was injected I felt the same I felt three minutes ago, nothing had changed. I coughed and wondered how much air was in this place. I looked at the Taliban soldiers and they seemed fine but yet I was struggling for air. Then I realized what the injection had done. It had somehow closed my lungs. It felt like your going for a swim and you run completely out of air, and then you break out of the water, into the nice fresh air. Except I couldn’t find any air and It went on like that for half an hour at least.

I closed my eyes and waited, it was time for me to die, then I felt another prick.

They almost killed me but sadly for them their interrogation ideas ran out. I actually thought of a few others but I decided not to tell them. My stomach hurt and I realized I haven’t eating for ages, had I eaten at all in prison?

The Taliban grabbed me from my cell and chucked me outside, out of prison, out of their turf. I made it! I got up to walk home but I couldn’t.

I would’ve died then and there if it hadn’t been for two helpful blokes that sent me back home.

I got something to eat on the journey. It was wriggling , I touched it’s whole body and realized it was quite a big meal, and for a minute I wasn’t sure who was eating who.

It was disgusting but filled me up a bit. I couldn’t eat it all.

I slept the rest of the journey until I reached my home.

I saw Parvana again.

I am now on another journey to help save the rest of my family in Mazar-I-Sharif.

It’s a dawning journey but with Parvana at my side, I know I can accomplish anything.


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67 Reviews


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Tue Aug 30, 2005 8:07 pm
AngelBaby88 says...



To me it was pretty interesting too.




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Thu Aug 25, 2005 10:35 pm
Kay Kay wrote a review...



I agree with Eleanor too. Anyways, in my opinion it ended kind of fast and that the end was too brief. My favorite part though was:

Once it was injected I felt the same I felt three minutes ago, nothing had changed. I coughed and wondered how much air was in this place. I looked at the Taliban soldiers and they seemed fine but yet I was struggling for air. Then I realized what the injection had done. It had somehow closed my lungs. It felt like your going for a swim and you run completely out of air, and then you break out of the water, into the nice fresh air. Except I couldn’t find any air and It went on like that for half an hour at least.
I closed my eyes and waited, it was time for me to die, then I felt another prick.

I don't know why though. I guess cuz of the way you wrote it. Good job. Keep up the good work!




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33 Reviews


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Wed Aug 24, 2005 10:06 pm
Eleanor Rigby wrote a review...



This has definitely interesting subject matter and is full of details that help you understand the severity of the story, so I commend you on that. However, it seems to be all details. You never reach into the depths of the narrator's mind to fully comprehend how he is reacting to the situation mentally and emotionally. In the first paragraph, the narrator says, "That me made angry, you won’t like it when I’m angry." and this is one of the few times that he ever really emotes. Further on in the story, as he is being tortured, he almost just "goes with the flow", and never really reacts to what his enemies are doing to him. Also, the end is sort of brief, but that style was just how the story before this added ending was written, I don't know. Overall, though, it was pretty good. Keep developing your own style and keep writing!





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