Just as we rehearsed- Chapter one

Chapter One

February 2016

“Alright you will be using that room. That is my room, the bathroom is through there and the balcony is that way.” 21 year old Skylar said whilst pointing to the appropriate rooms. Skylar Paddington was an eccentric individual who lived in the outskirts of California. She valued privacy and peace. She had been living alone for almost a year until a friend asked for a place to stay for just a while. The apartment space was vastly large for one person so it was easy for her to say yes. It had three bedrooms adjacent to each other; one room-her room- had a connecting bathroom with a shower and toilet; the main bathroom was in the hall next to the smaller room which she had been using as an office. Along that hall she had a big body size mirror which she loved because she would look at herself before work and could see what the world would see the entire day. The living room was her most precious place in the house. It had a two leather set of couches; the grey curtains were matching with the artwork on the wall just above the flat screen television which was on a wood and glass stand that had silver lining. The stand was perfectly matched with the coffee table. At the right corner you could see two slim speakers and a fan; then on your left corner there was another slim speaker. In total there were four speakers as the other one was at the corner next to the hall. The kitchen was opened right through to the living room as if it was one room. It had built-in cupboard. The bottom cupboard had the sink. The stove and fridge were on the opposite side. The tiling was earthy and homely for someone who lived alone. She stepped outside with her guest to show him the balcony which was very warm. It had a pool table and a couple of stools with different colors. There was an ashtray on the pool table and a joint; a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. She was a smoker but always preferred marijuana over cigarettes on any day. She started her smoking habit in high school, but back then it had only been just the marijuana. During her second year in varsity she had found comfort in cigarettes as a boost to her weed. The view from the balcony was beautiful and at this time the sun was setting and gave the glass a golden brown sheen that illuminated Skylar’s ruby red hair. She had hazel brown eyes and a fair complexion which she inherited from her beloved mother who died a year before Skylar finished high school. It had been a tough year for both Skylar and her father but they made it through together with help from the rest of the family. She gave a small shiver as she felt the chill of the afternoon air. It was not as cold but she could already see the goosebumps creeping on her skin. She moved slightly and took the joint from the pool table with the lighter and sparked it. She puffed some in and began to speak. “I really hope you like the place.” She said vehemently as she blew the smoke out slowly. “Here there are no boundaries. As you can see I do what I want; when I want to; and how I want.” She continued as she drew in some more weed. “I see you are living the life.” Her guest said. She did not answer instead she passed him the joint and kept looking ahead at the setting sun. 22 year old Jackson Smith was a stoner who could not be denied weed at any turn. He has been smoking weed since he left Junior High. He was one of the greatest stoners that Skylar has met in her life time. Born and raised in San Diego, he had been exposed to the plant his entire life. He had dropped out of varsity the year before to make money because he was not so sure if school was for him. The one thing that puzzled Skylar more was that this young man was the apple of his parents’ eyes but he was able to do what he did. He was like their pedestal; perfect in every way. The way in which he conducted himself was proof that he was some sort of a spoilt brat-in a cool way though. He stood there next to Skylar who was very stiff now. He continued to smoke the joint then passed it back to her without turning his head. “So tell me dear Skylar.” He began to speak. “How much does a place like this cost you a month?” he asked sheepishly. Skylar did not answer immediately. It was almost as if she was meditating her answer. She turned and looked at him with a sly grin on her face which turned in a full on smile when her eyes met his. As much as they would never date, she did find him to be very attractive. The way his eyes danced around was hypnotizing her in so many levels. He knew what he was doing to her and he enjoyed every minute of it all the time. You see they had known each other for close to 3 years now and they were still not keen on showing their true feelings for each other. Each of them refused to believe that there could be anything more than friendship that could happen between them. It was in moments like these that Skylar knew she was not compatible for him. He made her weak in a way and she hated being weak. Losing her mother had taught her how to be strong and on top of her game. She looked at him straight in the eyes and then looked away. After a few seconds she said, “Wouldn’t you like to know lover boy?” “Of course I want to know. It is a big place for one person. Do you live here alone?” “Do you count as a person?” she asked shyly. “No!” he replied almost instantaneously as if he was anticipating for her to ask that. “Then yes. Yes I live here by myself.” “How long have you been here?” Jackie asked. “It’s been almost a year now.” She said after having paused for a moment almost as if she had been counting. She moved here when she had started working for a publishing company early last year. She had always though she would buy the place but thought against it when she realized it was too big for her alone. She literally had no one to share it with. Not even a cat. Her on and off boyfriend was not welcome to stay though he came over every once in a while. She did not want to find herself responsible for a full-grown man who was capable of looking after himself. No one-not even him-was going to take advantage of her kindness. With Jackie it was different because he just needed a place to stay whilst he got settled in at his new job and he had no one this side so he applied. Skylar knew that it was different having Jackie staying here than having Michael living with her. She did not quite know the difference but she knew it was there. Michael was a parasite but as his girlfriend Skylar knew that taking care of him when he needed a boost was the best thing a human can do. She never hesitated to help him and in return she felt good about herself. What Michael did not understand was that she was not doing it because she was head-over-heels in love with him; it was what she would do for anyone whim she cared about. “It’s a very cool place. I like it.” Jackie said as he stroked her cheek slightly. Just that one touch brought heat to Skylar’s innermost core. “I’m gonna enjoy it here seeing that I can smoke however I want.” He said as he accepted the joint from Skylar. Weed was one of the things that they had in common. The prospect of having to share Skylar’s space with her was more exciting than a surprise joint when he found himself stranded. The one problem he would have would be to make her give in to a conversation. She seemed to either be avoiding words or giving short answers. She was rather too quiet for her usual self. Was it because of the invasion on her private space? Was it because she regrets having agreed to this arrangement? Whatever her reason was, it was not like her at all. If things were going to be like this for a while then it was going to be a hell of a ride for him and he was not prepared for it.

Skylar tried her best to sound interested in what Jackie was saying about her place but she just could not keep her head in one place. Earlier that day she received a call from Michael who yet again needed assistance with securing a contract with a certain firm and when she told him she could not help him he did what he always does when he does not get his way. Ignore her and make sure she sees it. That was one thing Skylar could not understand. What exactly did he expect to achieve with his tendencies? Did he think he had hit a naïve jackpot when he asked her out? That she would drop everything just to satisfy his childish ways? She had learnt her lessons right through her past relationships; do not make a man your world. The fact that she was still with him amazed her sometimes. She was in love with him at first but after seeing his colors-true or not- she was not so sure about her feelings anymore. She found that she only stayed with him because she was tired of looking around for someone to love her the way she wanted to be loved. Her past relationships left her feeling like she did not deserve to be loved. Love was not for her anymore and she had accepted that. She stared out into the horizon and felt tears burning the back of her eyes. She bit them back and forced herself to look at Jackie. She smiled then walked back into the house. She followed slowly without a word. She went to the kitchen while Jackie went to straight to the room which Skylar had indicated as the one he would be using. He dropped his duffel bag on the bed and went to the window. He looked outside and could see other houses which look impressively bug and homely. It made him miss home so badly. This felt like a mistake all of a sudden. Of course he was happy that Skylar hadn’t turned him down but how long could he keep up with the lack of interest to acknowledge his presence? It was more than evident that she had other things in her mind that had nothing to do with him. What could it be though? What could be bothering the lively Skylar Paddington? It was not like her to shut out people. Did she coupe herself in this little fortress all the time? Hmmm I would like to change that. He said to himself. He turned and looked around the room. It was a big room with a built-in wardrobe and a well-made bed which was much bigger than the one he had been using in his dorm room. The covers were well complimented by the curtains. The night stand was an odd feature to the whole setting. It was too antique to fit the equation of the setting. “This is so unlike you Skylar.” He said to himself. As he moved he saw a figure on his far left and when he turned he found Skylar standing there and before he could say anything else a wry smile had planted itself on her face. “That’s because I don’t use his room for myself and I had no place to put it so I just put it here.” She said as she walked into the room. She never liked that night stand but she could not get rid of it as it was a gift from her grandmother. She threw the bag she had on her shoulder at Jackie’s feet. “That is so unlike you as well.” She said pointing to the bag at his feet. She moved gracefully to the wardrobe and opened it slightly to check if there was anything that had been left there by one of the many people who temporarily used the room. She was a kind person when she wanted to be, but she was not oblivious to those who only wanted to use her. “I have played my part the rest is up to you and your god” she would say whenever she did something that went against her gut feeling. “I wonder why!” he whispered loud enough for her to hear. He was trying to bring out the Skylar he met three years ago. The girl who got super high and could not stop talking until someone actually pointed out that she talks a lot and she took a vow of moment silence for the rest of the night. That was by far the greatest thing she pulled off because even as she was asked to speak again she maintained her silence to prove a point. Till this day she is the only one who knows what point that was. This time around Jackie was lucky to be given a soft nudge and a big smile. He smiled in return. “Look Jack!” she began to speak after portraying some hesitation to the way Jackie smiled at her. “I am headed out for the night with some friends. You are welcome to join us.” She said. “And if I don’t wish to join you?” “Even better for me.” Skylar said as she moved to the door. “Why?” Jackie asked as he moved closer to her. She saw what he was trying to do and she was not going to give in to his mind tricks. “Because it saves me the introductions and babysitting all night!” she then turned and walked out completely. She went to her bedroom deciding to have a change of outfits before going out. She got in and closed the door slowly. She then leaned on it and let out a long held breath of air. “This is a mistake.” She said to herself. “……a huge one!” She walked to her dresser; picked up her phone and started dialing a number from her head. She placed the phone on her ear and listened intently. After a few rings the receiver answered. “Hey baby.” He said. These days it was hard for her to have an electrifying reaction to those words like she used to when they had started going out. She still wanted him but for other reasons that were not love. She found that Michael offered the odd type of love that a father or person of authority would. He was able to make Skylar think like an adult. It was almost like he put direction into her ways for a short while but the one problem was that he was not showing that love anymore. Instead it was like he forgot about her. Every once in a while she felt the need to remind him of her existence in his life. “How are you?” she said slowly. “I’m good, how are you?” “I’m alright. Where are you?” she asked. She hoped to get the answer she was looking for. “I’m in Seattle baby.” He said with confidence. What! Seattle? Why was she only hearing this now? Was it so unimportant that she did not have to know? Why did he not tell her this? If she hadn’t called would she have known that he was in Seattle? She took a deep silent breath and began to speak. “Uhm…..when did you leave?” she asked. “I left a few hours ago.” He replied with no hesitation. “You didn’t think to tell me because………?” “It was a heat of the moment thing love. A few friends of mine just suggested it out of the blue and we went.” Heat of the moment thing my ass. She thought to herself. He did not care what his actions did to her. How they influenced her. “Why do I keep doing this to myself?” She said but not audible enough for Michael to hear. “I beg your pardon.” “Nothing baby have fun.” She said dryly. Sometimes she just wished she was brave enough to let this one go. The prospect of having to pull an act every time Michael did something like this was sickening her. She did not know how to react to the way he did things. He was old enough to do all these things but it seemed like he did not understand that he was not alone anymore. If he cared for her he would know that this is not the way to treat the person you claim to love. It is just not natural. “I love you.” He said then waited or her response. She did not really feel like responding immediately so she changed the subject. “When are you coming back?” she asked after a bit of hesitation. Michael did not notice-thank God-because he just responded to her question in the same tone. “Maybe on Monday. I’m not sure yet baby.” “Sweet” she said sounding a bit more relieved although she was disappointed. If Michael did not know when he would be back that meant she could have time to herself just relaxing and not thinking too much. What if he was not in Seattle with his friends but a woman instead? As much as Skylar tried not to think about these kinds of things she could not help it sometimes. She could not stop thinking whether she still mattered. “Why you happy about it?” he asked all of a sudden with a different tone that sent chills down her spine. What was his problem? Let me push his buttons a lil’ she thought before saying. “Because it gives me more time to party and do all the shit I want. That’s why I’m happy dear lover.” She said then hung up. What a way to burst ones bubble. Who did he think he was? She stormed out of her room and went to the balcony. She pulled out a cigarette and bowed her head almost as if she had to think twice before lighting it. It was getting darker and all she could think of was going out and getting drunk. That would surely help her forget her problems. She raised her head and just as she was about to light her cigarette Jackie approached her holding what looked like her phone. She heard the caller tune and already knew that she did not want to answer it. She took the phone; threw it on the pool table and as if motivated by it she lit up the cigarette and looked away. She devoured the cigarette as if it was life itself. As soon as she was done she threw the bud over the balcony and took a deep breath before turning and walking back into the house. She was surprised to see that Jackie was still there. She was so caught up in her thoughts she hadn’t realized that he hadn’t gone back in. She went to the kitchen and looked for her spare keys. She then went her room to get some money and a jacket. As much as it was not cold there was a breeze outside and she knew that she would be out all night so she would need a jacket. She checked her pockets to see if she had everything. She remembered that she left her phone outside. She went for it but as she was headed to the balcony she came face to face with Jackie. He tried to speak but she just ignored him and went passed him. When she got there she found that her phone was not there anymore. She planted a smile on her face because she just did not care anymore. For tonight it would serve her right if the phone wasn’t present. “Hey Jackson.” She said as she headed back into the lounge. “I’m out. I will be back very late. I have my extra keys. See you tomorrow.” She said even though she wasn’t sure if he heard. She walked to the door opened it and stepped outside. Was shut the door and began descending down the stairs when she had the door lose again. She turned and found that Jackie had after all decided to go with her. She did not say anything instead she just smiled.