I end up standing in front of my girlfriend Courtney's house. I stop for a brief moment to catch my breath and recall her old tree house. Quietly tiptoeing to her backyard, I climb inside the tree house and set up a place to sleep with a blanket I brought, get a sweatshirt and use it as a pillow, and I layer up to face off the chilly night air. I try to get some sleep to have enough energy for the obstacles of tomorrow.
I wake up an hour earlier than I usually would so that I can be far enough away from Courtney’s when she wakes up. I know it is a risk to leave my belongings there, but I don’t have another option. I wait behind a bush, a little up the street from her house, until she opens the door to go to school.
"Hey Courtney!" I yell, popping out from behind the bushes. She looks my way and smiles warmly. I start to jog towards her, but I am forced to slow down when my ankle screams at me in pain from last night.
"Hey, you!" She says softly as I approach her. I pull her into my arms and plant a small kiss on her rose tinted lips. As we make our way to school, I take her soft, gentle hand into my calloused one.
"So, how's my girl?" I ask her in an attempt to make small talk mostly for my own benefit.
"Great! I got first place in the tournament yesterday!" she explains excitedly.
"Congrats! I knew those practices would pay off." I smile and gently squeeze her hand affectionately. Courtney then starts getting into depth about her gymnastics tournament. I listen attentively; I love the sound of her voice. "What about you? I heard you passed out during practice yesterday."
"Eh, I'm fine. Just got a little bit dehydrated, but I'm still alive."
"Adam," she sighs wearily. Her expression contorts into one like a mother about to lecture her child. "You need to take better care of yourself." Courtney stops and turns to me. She stares me down like my father had just a short eight hours ago. I shiver with fear.
"I will, I promise." I pull Courtney closer and kiss her again. We walk for another 5 minutes, talking about nothing in particular, before we reach the school.
"OTP! OTP! OTP!" My friends start chanting. Courtney laughs and I roll my eyes at their nonsense. She kisses the tip of my nose and then goes off with her own friends.
"Are your lives really that pathetic and boring?" I ask them. My friends stand there thinking, and pretending to stroke their imaginary beards.
"Yes," Josh says with finality.
"Basically," Matt adds.
I chuckle and shake my head.
"Losers," I scoff. We all laugh as we start throwing insults at each other. It only stops when we see two textbooks sitting on our desks and a huge collection of numbers written on the board upon walking into class.
"Read the board, follow the directions." Our teacher instructs, not even bothering to look up.
"This should be a fun day,” I mumble. Josh and Matt roll their eyes as we take a seat as far back in the classroom as possible.
"I want to go home!" Courtney wines to me at lunch. I simply kiss her temple and sigh.
I feel like I'm wearing a mask. Everywhere I go, I have a fake smile. I try to hide my pain and fear, try not to look weak, but it's hard. I don't know what to do, or who to trust.
I don't want to burden Courtney, Josh, or Matt with my problems. They are the types who aren't good with tears or conflict.
All I can do; all I know how to do is wear my mask.
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125,004 Literary Works • 672,792 Reviews
Hi there! Coming at you with a review! Just a quick disclaimer that I have not read any of the previous pieces so I will be basing my review off of this chapter alone c:
So I don't really have any nitpicks in regards to grammar. I did notice one inconsistency in the flow and that was when you jumped from the classroom to Courtney whining at lunch. It was a weird scene change, not to mention that it was unexpected, so I recommend adding a transition between those two scenes to help the flow.
Even though I haven't read the beginning chapter, I can see what's going on here a bit. Adam has a secret he's hiding from those close to him, huh? That's why it's called Masks, cause he's figuratively hiding behind one. What I want to know is why? He seems head over heels in love with his girlfriend, so I assume they must be close, or at least intimate. It's gotta be hard not to share a secret with someone you're intimately close to, so why won't he share with her? Obviously because you want to draw out the suspense and entice the readers, but you need to show us why in the story. I would put more focus on that in the story, because like I said, they seem close and she's gotta notice if he becomes withdrawn or secretive.
Same with his friends. They seem to be close, so chances are, his mates might notice as well. Especially since you end the chapter by explaining how Adam doesn't want to burden them with his woes. I'm sure they might've noticed his distress, or at least noticed something. Even if they didn't, maybe highlight how that makes Adam feel. In fact, focus a bit more on how he feels because he seemed chill right up until the end, when he's explaining how his smile is fake and etc.
The chapter was good and I like that it was a quick read, but consider adding more to this. School scenes aren't all that fun to write, so try adding more of Adam in there and how he's feeling. His personal thoughts and emotions and what's going through his head. It's all just a bit too brief and I know I'd like to see more of Adam's personality and internal thoughts and feelings.
Overall, this is a good start for the second chapter. Awesome work c: I hope this review helped.
Thank you so much! As for what he's hiding, I feel like chapter one describes it. It's about his dad so if you want to check that out, it might make more sense. Everything else, i will definitely take into consideration. Thanks for the review and I'm glad you liked it ;smt001
Hello hello!! I picked this out of the green room because dramatic romantic novels are the beeeest kinds of novels!
And please let me know if you have any questions or if there's something you'd like feedback about that I didn't mention! 
Awwww TAKE OFF YOUR MASK BUDDY!! It's sweet how much this narrator cares about his girlfriend and how much she must care about him (guessing the narrator is a him?). I also liked the interactions that narrator and Courtney had with his friends and how they were teasing him :p That felt very realistic from what I remember of boys in high school
My biggest qualm with this chapter, and I think the biggest thing that will help take your writing to the next level, is that I need more description. Right now it reads very monotone - this happened, then I did this, then we went here, then I did this, then this happened, etc. This is super common! It's a good way to get the story out there and get your ideas out there! Now, all you have to do is breathe some more emotion into it. If you haven't already, I'd recommend checking out the knowledge base here on YWS. It's full of articles written by other YWSers about all sorts of writerly things. This is the section for description. I particuraly like the second article on that list "Breathing emotion into scenes".
The biggest thing to remember is that while you may have an awesome vision in your head of these characters and this world and what's happening, your readers don't have that same window. So you have to show us everything that's happening inside your head. Think about the senses, think about the thoughts going through your narrator's mind, everything. At first it's going to feel like you're way over-describing (and that's okay!). If you go into it trying to over-describe, chances are you'll be right on the money, and if it really is too much, it's much easier to take things out then add them back in
I'm a chronic under-describer too so I feel your pain! But, once you can breathe that emotion into your scenes with lots of awesome description and thoughts/feelings from your character it will really transform your writing! And I think having more of his thoughts and feelings throughout this chapter will make the mask stuff at the end make more sense. I liked the mask stuff, but it felt a little out of the blue for me. I want more build-up or leading to that moment so it makes sense and feels natural that he feels like he's wearing this mask.
I hope you keep working on this story! I myself have a soft spot for emotionally wounded boys, so I would be happy to keep reading if you keep posting more!
Thank you so much! This was extremely helpful and I do worry about putting too much detail in but I guess I shouldn't. Also, the end with the mask part I also thought it was weird but now I have an idea of what to do with it so thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it