Young Writers Society

"Jenna, breathe. Everything is going to be fine!" My best friend Macayla tells me over the phone.

"Erik posted his schedule on Facebook. We basically have the same schedule!" My heart was racing. I looked in the mirror one last time before walking out of my room.

"Listen Macayla, I got to go. I'll see you on the bus."

"Okay, same. See you. Love you and hey, relax. Everything will be fine."

"Okay... Love you too." I hang up the phone and slip it in my pocket. I try taking deep breaths, but I'm too nervous to even eat. My hands shake as I grab a muffin for later. My mom walks in to the room just as I'm leaving with a big smile on her face.

"It's your first day of high school! Aren't you excited?!"

"Yeah sure, because I love school. I got to go before I miss the bus. Love you, bye." I tell her as I run out the door. I'm half way down the street when I hear her telling me something but I can't hear it. I play on my phone until the bus arrives. When I get on, I find Macayla. I look over at the two-seater and I can't believe my eyes. Erik is sitting right across from me!

He smiles at me and I smile back. I turn to Macayla before I do anything stupid and embarrass myself.

The whole bus ride to school I listened to Macayla ramble on about her summer. But I didn't hear a word. Every bone in my body was celebrating, but I knew I had to stay cool on the outside. I didn't want Erik to think I was a freak or a weirdo.

"Jenna, are you listening? Hello, Earth to Jenna!"

"Huh? Oh, yeah. Continue." I peeked back towards Erik, but looked away when I saw he was looking at me and smiling.

The bus stopped in front of the school and I got up. Just as I started to walk, I bumped right into Erik, who had also started to walk.

"Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry, clumsy me." My face felt hotter than the sun and my face got as red as a tomato.

He laughed and said, "No it's ok. That was my fault, after you." He smiled at me again and gestured for me to go. I melted inside.

"Hey, I never got your name." He asks me as we start walking towards the school.

"Oh. Jenna. What's yours?" That was a dumb question. Everyone knows his name. I bet I seem uncool.

"Erik. See you around Jenna." He started running to go meet his friends, his blonde hair going everywhere with the wind. I caught him turning around just as I walked into the school.

I smiled like an idiot for the rest of the day.

The next morning when I woke up, I jumped out of bed and got ready as fast as I could. It felt like forever again until the bus came. There he was again, sitting in the same seat as yesterday.

His eyes looked deep into mine, and I looked deep into his. I wasn't paying attention to where I was walking, and instead of looking into Erik's eyes, I was looking at the bus floor. My nose was hurting a lot and when I sat up I saw someone's foot out. Tears welled up in my eyes as the laughing echoed in my ears, but I pushed them back. I was not going to cry at school, especially in front of Erik. He stood up and held out his hand. Hesitantly, I took it.

"Are you ok?" He asked me.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks for caring..." I felt myself blush but it didn't matter because I meant it. When I took a closer look, I saw that the foot sticking out was my best friends. I marched up to her with clenched fists.

"Why would you do that?!" "What? It's just a little fun."

"Yeah, maybe fun for you!" I wanted to wipe the smirk off her face. "Oh lighten up, will you?" Her gin widened.

"NO! You only ever think about you! I'm done. We're through!" I yelled.

"Fine with me, but you're going to wish you never did that."

Luckily we were at school already, so I marched off the bus. As I walked, I recalled the conversation where Macayla had confessed that she also liked Erik. I didn't stop even when I heard Erik calling my name.

As soon as I got into the school, I made my way to the closest girl's bathroom. Luckily no one else was in there. I looked into the mirror. There was a little dirt on my face so I washed it off. I wanted to go home; I didn't want to be here. I felt so embarrassed. To top it all off, Erik saw it all. Just then I remembered him calling to me. I wish I had turned around. I worked up the courage to walk out just to find Erik leaning against the lockers, a worried look on his face that made him look even cuter. He looks up and walks over to me.

"Hey." He says.

"Hey."

"You are not fine, and I don't need to know you to know that. What can I do?" I couldn't take it anymore. Tears streamed down my face and I fell into his arms. He held me for a while and pulled away when I stopped crying.

"I just lost my best friend." I whispered.

"She wasn't worth your friendship. You deserve way better than her. If she treats you like that, she's the one who loses in the end. Someone like that doesn't deserve an amazing girl like you to call her best friend, ok?" I nod my head slightly, but I still feel like crap on the inside.

I guess he noticed because he then said, "Let's get out of here, go do something fun."

Reluctantly, I let him lead me out of the school and we start walking.

By the time we got to the bowling alley, my stomach hurt from laughing and my face hurt from smiling. Erik had managed to cheer me up and make me completely forget about Macayla. He got us a lane; we put on our shoes and started bowling.

"I'm really bad. I would have said no if I knew we were coming here!" I lied.

"It's ok. I'll teach you." He tells me. The look on his face makes me think he is flirting. Erik then gets up and stands really close behind me. I feel his breath on the back of my neck, his hand is holding mine.

"You pull it back," he whispers into my ear. "And then you take a couple steps. Start bending over a little, and...Release." I let go of the bowling ball and let him bring my hand back with his. We watch the ball roll down the lane and surprisingly we get a strike. He turns me around in his arms and pulls me closer.

"We make a good team." I whisper. I lean into him a little more and look into his eyes.

"Yes, we do." Erik leans in too, our noses touching. He lifts one of his hands to the back of my neck. I close my eyes and, get rid of the gap between us.

It was a soft kiss; I could feel his hands running up and down my back. I finally pulled away after what felt like forever. I couldn't help but smile. Erik was smiling too.

After we finished bowling, school was almost over so we started walking back. The buses were just getting there so we got on.

Instead of sitting in the three-seater where Macayla sits, I sat in the two-seater with Erik. He put his arm around me and we listened to music from his phone. I couldn't wait to see the look on Macayla's face when she saw us.

I watched her face closely as she got on the bus. She looked at us, and just went right into the three-seater. I couldn't believe it. Something had to be up because the Macayla that I knew would have given me a dirty look, or yelled at me, or told an embarrassing story. I saw her turn back out of the corner of my eye and I think she winked. I couldn't tell if it was for me or Erik. But what would she be doing winking at Erik or even me at this point?

Every 5 minutes, I would look at her. She was either on her phone or looking out the window.

Erik's stop was before mine. I got up so he could get out of the seat. I caught Macayla looking at Erik again and I was about to say something except, Erik was looking at her too.

Luckily it was the weekend because that night I couldn't sleep. All night the image of Macayla and Erik was in my head. I kept asking myself the same question, why were they looking at each other like that? Both of them had devilish grins on their faces, like they were plotting something. I couldn't help but think that it had to do with me.

I was bored and I couldn't sleep anyway so I turned on my laptop and opened Facebook. I rubbed my eyes, I thought I was hallucinating.

Erik had posted a picture of us kissing and the caption read, 'She thinks it's real, she thinks I care. Can't wait to see the look on her face when she sees ne making out with Macayla Monday '. I shut the laptop.

Tears filled my eyes, but this time I let them fall. I could feel my heart inside me, shattered into a million pieces. I have liked Erik as long as I could remember.

They think they can play me? Well, they just wait to see whose game we will actually be playing.

I didn't dare open the laptop again to read the comments. I went to bed, but I formed my revenge plan against Macayla and Erik.

When Monday came, I didn't even want to go to school. I had been planning my revenge all weekend, but I was still nervous that it wouldn't work. I kept my head down as I got on the bus.

I was surprised to see Macayla wasn't there, so I sat in her three-seater. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't look at Erik. He would have said something and it was eating me away inside. The second I looked, I knew I should have fought the urge more.

Macayla was sitting on Erik's lap, and they were making out. I guess everyone as in on it because the whole bus was looking at me and laughing. Random people I didn't even know were taking pictures of my face, and them making out.

I knew this would happen, I just didn't think it was going to be this early in the morning. I had spent too much time planning and not enough time mentally preparing myself for this.

I wanted to look away, but I just couldn't. I didn't want to exist anymore. I wanted to disappear forever. I finally was able to look away, but it didn't help.

The whole day, the image of Macayla and Erik haunted me. I had no one to talk to, but there was one person I wanted to tell.

When I got home from school, I grabbed some flowers and headed out again. I walked a couple blocks to the cemetery, and went to my father's grave.

"Hey dad," I said, tears already filling y eyes. I replaced the old, withered flowers with the new ones. "You were right, you can't trust anyone. Macayla turned on me, and kissed Erik in front of me on purpose. Worst par, Erik was in on it too." I stopped to take a breath.

"I miss you so much daddy, I really need you. I know you died fighting and you lost the battle, and cancer won, but I still miss you so much. I really need one of your hugs right now. I don't have anyone anymore. You were all I had left..." Tears streamed down my face uncontrollably. "These past few months have been so hard without you. I love you dad. Always have, always will." I say at the end like I always do.

I get up to leave, but I don't want to go home. Just then I heard a voice behind me. I jumped and turned around, and didn't believe who I was looking at.

My 19 year old brother who I hadn't seen in a year was standing a few feet away, looking at me.

"Zach!" I scream. I sprint at him and wrap my arms around his neck. He picks me up and spins me around. When we let go, I slap him as hard as I can.

"Ow! What was that for?!"

"You ran away dumbie. Mom and I were worried sick! Where did you even go and why didn't you call!?"

"I promise I will explain it all, but with mom. I don't want to explain it twice. It's a really long story."

"Ok. Let's go home then. Mom is going to be so happy to see you.

As we walked back, I told Zach all about the past year, ending with what had happened with Erik and Macayla.

"Macayla? Gosh Jen, I thought she was a good one, a keeper."

"Me too. That was my mistake." I told him. Luckily, we were almost home so I didn't have to keep talking about it.

My mom's car was parked outside in the driveway so I hoped she was home.

I opened the door and walked in. My mom was standing there already. I stepped aside and Zach came in.

"Hey mom." He said. My mom's mouth opened. She looked so surprised, happy, and upset all at the same time.

"Zachary." She whispered. Zach slowly walked towards her and gave her a hug.

She hugged him back and dug her head into his shoulder. Her shoulders shook as they embraced.

I then heard Zach tell my mom, "its ok mom. Everything will be ok; I'm here to stay for good."

The story was long but I sat through it and listened. It was nice to hear his voice after so long.

"But Zachary, why didn't you come to us for help?" My mom asked him.

"You had enough on your plate with dad being in the hospital and everything. And we didn't have the money for the amount that I owed them. And I needed a little while away to get better and recover."

"You could have at least called. I mean, it's a hard thing to go through alone, rehab. I could have been there for you." I tell him.

"I know, and I'm the older one. I should have been there for you when you needed me. And for that, I'm so, truly sorry." He looks at me and his eyes say it all. He was talking about when our father died.

My dad and I were very close. He taught me karate, and we were a good team. I would always help him when he worked from home. He was a financial adviser, so he would always be looking into clients files. He let me see them even though they were somewhat confidential, and he would always ask me questions. I am 14 now, but I was only 7 then. It's not like I could tell too many people. No one would understand anyway. The memory made me smile.

"It's fine. Don't worry about that. At least you are here now." I hope I didn't show that I was lying. I didn't know what else to say to him, because I couldn't tell him the truth. I wish he had never left, I wish he was there through it all. I can't forgive him. He left knowing how bad dad was doing. He knew that we needed him the most then. For that, I don't think I could ever actually forgive him for that.

The next day at school seemed, different. No one even looked in my direction. Macayla and Erik were minding their own business, and people wouldn't stop bumping into me in the halls. They wouldn't even turn around and say sorry. I felt invisible.

Even in class, I would raise my hand and the teacher wouldn't call on me, even if my hand was the only one up.

When I got home that day, I found a note on the table that read, 'We went out to have fun and we will not be back for dinner. Sorry, feel free to order a pizza.' There was $20 next to the card.

"Great." I told myself. But then I also considered that they needed mother-son time, bonding, reconnecting, and more catching up. I was starting to get hungry so I picked up the phone and ordered the pizza. I found a movie and sat down to watch it.

By the time it finished, and I had done my homework, my brother and mom still weren't home.

It was 10:30 and I had school tomorrow so I decided to not stay up.

I woke up to a loud crashing noise. It sounded like it came from the living room downstairs. I grabbed my phone and the baseball bat next to my bed and slowly crept downstairs.

I heard someone laughing, and it sounded like my mom. I peeked around the corner and sure enough, it was my mom.

"Mom! Did you just get home?" I yelled. I couldn't contain my anger. Zach walked in from the kitchen with a cup of coffee in his hand.

"Here, drink this. It will help sober you up." He said, handing my mom the cup.

"Thanks you honey. You're the best. I, love. You. It was fun this night with you. Jenna, you have should been there." Her words slurred out and I knew she was really drunk. My anger level rose 10 times higher. I gave Zach a death stare.

"Would you care to explain this? Why the hell would you let mom drink. You know about her problem! She has been fine for a year now. Where did you even go?!"

"Okay calm down. Mom drove us to a bar/restaurant. She wanted a seat at the bar to have one drink. I had to use the bathroom and by the time I came back out, there was like 10 shot glasses in front of her. I tried to take her home but she wouldn't get in the car. I stayed with her all night and we just got home because she fell asleep so I put her in the car and drove her home."

"It's 6:00 in the morning. You should have called, again. I can't believe you!" I turned around and left the room.

"I'm sorry! Jenna, please!" I heard him calling after me but I was already half way down the stairs, and too upset to argue with him.

I avoided my mom and my brother as much as I could. I stayed late at school, or at the library, or walking. Sometimes I stayed really late at the park, and then went home when I knew they were asleep.

At school, I kept getting ignored. I felt like a ghost everywhere I went. Erik and Macayla were the talk of the school. Everyone was whispering about them. When they walked down the halls, people would actually move and make a walkway for them! They were always holding hands too. It was annoying.

I won't lie, it hurt too. I had liked Erik for a really long time, like 5 years, so since 6th grade. And Macayla had been my best friend since 4th grade. She was the one I told everything to. Erik didn't even notice me but I saw him. He was tall, blonde, athletic, and nice; everything you would want in a guy. But he was always with the popular kids, and I wasn't popular. Macayla was, but I never mixed in with that crowd because I didn't like them. Every time I saw them together, I could feel my heart inside me, breaking into more and more pieces.

But every day after school, I would go visit my dad. I would tell him everything, even how bad I felt. I didn't want to live in this town anymore, or be in that school, but he keeps me holding on. I have to be strong and fight like he did for me.

Its summer now. Next year is my last year of high school and then off I go to college and to start my life. My brother moved out to a nearby house with his girlfriend (hopefully soon to be fiancé). I am still invisible everywhere I go, but I don't mind anymore. I don't have to spend time trying to explain my thoughts to people, or boring people with the details.

I'm left alone to live my own life. I finally got over Erik, and I am way past the friendship with me and Macayla. I see them together and notice how cute they look. I'm really happy for them both. I also got into art. I draw and paint out my emotions and it helps to understand them. It also clears my head. Today, a year ago, my dad's heart stopped beating at the hospital. I'm doing better than I thought I would be. It's hard, and I have to go through it alone, but I know my dad is watching over me. He is there for me in the only way he can be. Things have been good, and I am stronger now. I know my dad would be proud.