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16+ Language

Walls

by skorlir


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language.

I am entirely uncomfortable with the fourth wall of written work. Not that there is a fourth wall – there are no walls. That is unless one is elaborating on the nature of walls, or writing an exposé on Berlin, or describing a scene from Secret Garden. Even then, if I, the reader, choose to see beautiful women lining up in front of a Super Nintendo for a turn at Duck Hunt – Well, it does not matter whether the writing is about walls or equine medicine. The point is, Lemony Snicket-esque letters to the reader make me uncomfortable. As does the thought of a brown bear trying to rob vodka from a Russian convenience store. But everyone knows Russians ride bears just to screw with us, so the situation would probably dissipate into lots of spilled vodka and a late-night party contest of brown-bear-mechanical-bull-riding into the sunset, then the bear would hibernate for the next 9 months because FUCK it’s cold out there and it ingested enough vodka to increase the alcohol content of the Bering Sea by 5%. (Not to mention it was just ridden by innumerable drunken Russians.) Even then, the bear could probably get his stomach pumped and have enough vodka to light the city of Berlin by lamp for a week.

And there’s a wall in Berlin. It’s not so much there now – its palimpsestic remains loom more psychologically than physically over the town. The fictional town of Springfield built a wall much like it, and there was a rock concert involved. Probably vodka there too, but much lesser likelihood of bear-riding. I suppose the writers could have added bear-riding, but that would certainly have detracted from the significance of the wall. And that is, after all, what we are talking about – walls. They separate things, like the chemical opposition between oil and water. Except less natural – walls are a construct, an artificial separator. Although oil is actually melted petrified dinosaur bones extracted by boring massive holes into the earth and sucking unrefined dead matter through huge metal straws suspended over the ocean. Even then it has to be refined.

Everything seems anthropogenic, in that case – everything related to walls, at least. Punctuation is like a wall; punctuation marks separate thoughts, clauses, words, phrases, images, just about everything. A boycott wouldn’t do much good though because nobody can hardly stand when someone raves on forever without taking a break or thinking about what they say especially since punctuation is pretty much the reason the brain can separate thoughts enough to make comprehensible matter from what it reads who cares anyway since punctuation rather obviously does not have that much to do with walls and nobody would be able to figure out I was trying to make a point even if they did read my lolling idiot vomit status update brain mush and I could just say whatever I wanted like banana bread lollipop lipstick Hitchcock monkey sock battering ram juicy fruit baked potato macaroni necklace capricious clock cogs candy corn.

This is why twitter and facebook cannot be the same thing – walls. Hashtags are like the wall between two very distinct forms of social media. If one adopts the rules of the other, each is less unique and suddenly there is multiculturalism forming between bodies of multicultural populations each centered around very original devices intended to prevent the spillage of multiple multiculturalisms and sustain an addiction to one specific brand of multicultural interaction. Twitter has hashtags, and facebook has… well, it has… timeline? That’s useless. Good thing facebook added hashtags, I guess. I just remembered that. They didn’t have anything else exciting. Unless you count Farmville, I suppose, but everyone secretly both hates facebook apps and the people that play them. I won’t even bother to tell you people playing facebook apps hate themselves – everyone hates oneself. Even if one doesn’t play Farmville. Anyway, facebook does not limit status updates to 160 characters. So that’s the new wall. They still are different things, of course. And I don’t mean wall, as in the wall one has on one’s timeline. Metaphorical wall – one separating those complicated boiling pots which draw so many individuals into their vortices of acronymic socio-babble case study phenomena. For instance, “lol, jus peeps dont get me brah too real 4 dis.” What a brilliant example of schizophrenic aphasia – pretty much a textbook case. There’s inflated ego; abbreviated and inconsistent, sometimes incomprehensible speech; disdain for others resulting from delusory mental disintegration… Psychiatry has never had such a rich source material. Of course, psychiatry does not really exist. It kind of straddles the wall between science and monkey shit – where either side of the wall could really belong to the other category. Scatological primate observation and classification is a special branch of Park Ranger training required for Brown University’s Anthropology major course load. So yeah, there’s no wall between science and monkey shit, and for that very reason psychiatry does not exist.

And that makes four. Or none. And the one that was already broken.

( Still very much uncomfortable. It's like half my brain took a vacation and failed to leave an address. Then this happened. I have no idea. )


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212 Reviews


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Wed Jul 03, 2013 1:58 am
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birk wrote a review...



Hey skorlir!

First off, if you deliberately made almost the entire piece a giant wall of text, then I will award you extra props.

Alright, now aside from the giant wall of text which is straining on the eyes, you have this long incohesive rambling or say, rant..about walls?

I struggled getting into this work, especially at the first (lenghty) body of text, which is littered with what I feel are pointless references. After the end of your Secret Garden sentence, I have no idea where you are getting at. Duck Hunt, Lemony Snicket, Russian Bears, Springfield...more russian bears (really?). And why explain what oil is? It has nothing to do with this...nothing. Hm, you may have a point here.

Ah yes, maybe you do. Because now you get into the part of this which I really liked. This is where I begun to hope that you had deliberately shaped this entire work into a big wall of text.

A boycott wouldn’t do much good though because nobody can hardly stand when someone raves on forever without taking a break or thinking about what they say especially since punctuation is pretty much the reason the brain can separate thoughts enough to make comprehensible matter from what it reads who cares anyway since punctuation rather obviously does not have that much to do with walls and nobody would be able to figure out I was trying to make a point even if they did read my lolling idiot vomit status update brain mush


To me, saved this entire work from being nothing. I got something out of it. This might even be brilliant. Maybe.


But then again, this could just be some mindless dribble from some guy who can't sleep at night and is tired of seeing hashtags on Facebook (Hashtags are for Twitter, you idiots!).

Wait, I googled this; Hashtags are now on Facebook?
God help me.

Birkhoff
lollipop lipstick monkey battering ram juice




skorlir says...


The giant-wall-of-text effect I will take credit for, but it was not entirely deliberate. I mean, I tried to format!

I tend to avoid mindless drivel, honestly. It's sort of an allergy, and sort of anathema to my soul. It's the antimatter to my... well, you get the idea. And this is unlike any of my other work. You may try something else of mine, if you are interested in seeing something slightly more coherent.

You have definitely written a unique and pleasant review. "Props," as you say.

~Skorlir



skorlir says...


The giant-wall-of-text effect I will take credit for, but it was not entirely deliberate. I mean, I tried to format!

I tend to avoid mindless drivel, honestly. It's sort of an allergy, and sort of anathema to my soul. It's the antimatter to my... well, you get the idea. And this is unlike any of my other work. You may try something else of mine, if you are interested in seeing something slightly more coherent.

You have definitely written a unique and pleasant review. "Props," as you say.

~Skorlir



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Mon Jul 01, 2013 3:54 pm
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pensword wrote a review...



Well, I must say, I have no idea what's going on. I don't really think this could be classified as a narrative, as it follows no human form of chronology whatsoever :). I enjoy the fact that you decided to talk about walls, but the bear-riding and Lemony Snicket hummerding was a little heavy. You skipped from idea to idea, never concentrating on one long enough to really get the point across. Lemony Snicket always has a point to his breaks in reality, however much these meandering roads may take you. I think you had some good content, but the profundity was unseparable from the vodka and psychiatry tirades. But it was still pretty good. So nice job!




skorlir says...


Ah, well. Lemony Snicket really has nothing to do with this; he is but loosely related to the theme. Anyway. It's not really meant to be comprehensible, but not incomprehensible either. The bits about multiculturalism are... well, they confuse me, too.

Thanks for your thoughts!

Be forever hortatory,
~Skorlir




"You're wrong about humanity. They are your greatest creation because they're better than you are. Sure, they're weak, and they cheat and steal and destroy and disappoint, but they also give and create, and they sing and dance and love. Above all, they never give up."
— Metatron