aching to pupate

by skeptik_225

Published March 28, 2006

In Old Poetry

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Bold, clear images, as usual outstanding poetry with this bold sentimental quality that balances out with the language. Personally, I felt a connection with this poem. I could praise forever but I do have one tiny concern. The breaks and stars, I feel was the only semi-weak point only in the sense that its been used many times and sometimes seems like a weak strategy to organize ideas. Maybe it's me, when I see stars I associate it with time and space changing or even perspective changing but none of these things happen and its merely there as a pause. For a poem like this that relies alot on impact, I know you can figure out a more creative approach to articulate what the stars aren't. Other than that near pointless rant on stars (sorry, I wouldn't say it if i didn't think it was true) well done, this is one of your best in my book

Comments & reviews · 3
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k3pt
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k3pt commented Comment · Mar 31, 2006

I liked it. The imagery it evoked was pleasant.

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Angel17
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Angel17 commented Comment · Mar 29, 2006

I agree, there was some really strong imagery in this, which helped create a mood/tone for the poem

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xanthan gum
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xanthan gum commented Comment · Mar 29, 2006

I found this "cute" in a sense. I loved the constant brown overtone. Only one question - the astericks or stars or whatever....what is their purpose?



The fellow who thinks he knows it all is especially annoying to those of us who do.
— Harold Coffin