Forgotten

"Am I just being missed?

Are people just not noticing me?"

i like the questioning to begin the poem, it sets the scene well.

"Is there a place that I have to go,

To be seen,

To be heard," this is all together yeah? well it should probably have a question mark.

"Is there a place that I have to go," again, question mark.

Is there? good reiteration, but the whole retorical questioning is now getting a bit strenuous.





"Am I being forgotten?

Are people just not noticing me?

Is there something that I need to say," good good. not sure whether its needed.

"To be what,

To do what," LOVE THIS.


"Is there something that I need to say,

Is there? " okay.



Am I not important?

Are people just not noticing me?

Is there something that I need to do,

To be found,

To be here,

Is there something that I need to do,

Is there?

I LIKE THAT STANZA. WELL DONE.


"Because if there is tell me.

I'm tired of being forgotten." beautiful way to finish a great poem.
all in all well done, keep up the g work.

I guess this poem was OK. It was not good nor bad, just ok.

So this poem is about someone who is not noticed. What I liked about the poem is how each stanza is well organized

Am I not important?
Are people just not noticing me?
Is there something that I need to do

Am I being forgotten?
Are people just not noticing me?
Is there something that I need to say

Am I just being missed?
Are people just not noticing me?
Is there a place that I have to go,

Because if there is tell me.
I'm tired of being forgotten.

UM UM UM, It was OK for a new person. So keep on improving
But the poem is to short.
It gets a little bit boring because you are writing about the same thing.
But keep on writing.

First off, welcome to YWS!

Secondly, this poem is, well...forgettable. There's nothing here to capture the reader's interest. Just you, being unnoticed. I can relate, of course. Indeed, I have written poems with the same theme. But the way it's done here is bland, generic, just plain boring.

Some tips for revising:

1) Don't ask rhetorical questions. It's a tip I got from someone on this site a long time ago. They're vague and don't add much to the poem.

2) Give me images. Paint a picture that lets the emotion shine through. Who's forgetting you? Friends? Family? Lover? What are you trying to do/say/be that they aren't noticing? Where are you? Are you with them when having these thoughts or not?

3) Don't over-use repetition. It can be a powerful tool, but it can get old pretty quick as well. Be careful how you use it.

Now some praise, since I feel bad about being so harsh. Your last two lines were good. Maybe you can incorporate them into a stronger poem. Keep writing!

This poem was okay but too repetitive-you're repeating the same things over and over without changing more than two or three words, and I found it a little tiresome to read. Also, I did not find any real feeling. The poem seems to be pleading, which is fine, but there's no real desperation or any other emotion. You have a good idea here, just revise it a bit so it really reflects what you're feeling.

Am I just being missed?

Are people just not noticing me?

Is there a place that I have to go,

To be seen,

To be heard,

Is there a place that I have to go,

Is there?

The first stanza sounds okay. You're speaking to someone. Trying to get that person to notice that they don't see you.

Am I being forgotten?

Are people just not noticing me?

Is there something that I need to say,

To be what,

To do what,

Is there something that I need to say,

Is there?

You're saying that you want to know if there's something that you need to say to be noticed by someone that you would do it.

Am I not important?

Are people just not noticing me?

Is there something that I need to do,

To be found,

To be here,

Is there something that I need to do,

Is there?

You're saying that you want to know if there's something that you have to do so that way that person will notice you again.

Because if there is tell me.

I'm tired of being forgotten.