Young Writers Society

Hey! Forever here with a review!!

Well firsr and foremost, I really don't understand why it has been termed as ashort story. From no angle, it appears to be a short story. From every angle I can see, it seems to be an article/essay to me. So, that is a better genre.

Anyway, next it is in dire need of details. For it to be a decent article, I think that a lot of details could be added about each and every point you stated in the essay. You have got to expound and make the readers understand the purpose of your writing the essay. Like I understand the purpose is to glorify this person but unless and until you give us other information, this isn't going to work.

Like if you see great people, they generally have a lot of struggle in their life and only then they achieve success. So, was there any struggle in the life of this person? If yes, I would be very happy to know about that. You have got to elaborate on all the technologies you mentioned. Like they seem to be very interesting ones and very efficient ones too but if you provide one-liners for each and everything, the reader is just going to forget the whole thing.

Also, there is always a reason behind a person's decision. I would really love to see the reasons coming into light. In that way, we can also get a sneak peek into the thoughts and mindset of the person concerned here.

All in all, this piece does have potential to be a good article. You just have got to add some valid details like how he succeeded and others which I already mentioned.

Keep Writing!!

~Forever

It's good writing, very concise. It doesn't give many details, though. Where has his system been implemented? Does it work in all environments? It seems like it would fit in one of the little business briefs down the side of a newspaper; not much there, just enough to get your interest piqued.

Hey! XD

PLEASE STOP WITH THE SPAM!

I notice whenever I review one of these works, that the person who created it never replies.
So, 'MedX Corporation, based in Ocala, FL is a manufacturer of spinal rehabilitation and premium exercise equipment. Under the leadership of Michael Dettmers, who was president and CEO from 2002 to 2008, the company underwent significant expansion. Based upon his extensive manufacturing experience, he implemented a Lean Manufacturing strategy.

Derived from the Toyota Production System conducted their operations, Lean Manufacturing is a system of management that seeks to eliminate processes that lead to waste, and optimize those that increase value. Michael Dettmers applied this strategy in a modified approach that worked best for MedX. It leads to decrease in cycle times and a fourfold increase in production. He motivated workers through team-based incentives, rather than individual incentives.

Teams were self-directed: they elected their own leaders and solved problems within the team. The team itself was responsible for ensuring that it met production goals. By eliminating foremen and supervisors, Michael Dettmers was able to greatly enhance MedX’s production capacity.

He also applied Demand Flow Technology, which uses a mathematical model of product flow. Michael Dettmers introduced DFT at MedX through a learn-by-doing approach. This system helps to identify critical paths and potential bottlenecks, both of which are essential to producing quality products with shorter production cycle periods.'

This work is great, very technical; very informative.
You've posted a couple of versions of your other work, like everyone else who does this does.
Could you please tell me why!?