Hello FlamingPhoenix here with a short review for you on this rainy day, and to help get your work out the green room.
Okay let's start.
So I did see a few things that can be fixed, if this comes across as mean in any way I am very sorry.
Now let's begin.
Here is the first thing I saw.
Those who knew them claimed it as delinquent juvenile
Now the word in bold is spelt write, but I feel like this sentence is missing something to make it flow better, maybe put an a between an and delinquent. That will help.
Onto the next.
The scathed field bllistered and burned by man’s hand
This is just a small spelling mistake, or typo. But you don't need to extra L in blistered.
Next.
They never grow, never are given a chance
There is nothing wrong with the word in bold here, but this would sound better if it was changed to been. Then your sentence would sound like this.
They never grow, never been given a chance
I think that sounds better and gives it a better flow.
Last one.
Wind blows across stiffened, burnt trees
There is nothing wrong with this word ether but there should be a 'the' before wind. It will make the sentence sound better.
Well that was all I could see. I really love this poem, it's full of emotion, and that emotion is so strong it stays with the reader throughout the whole poem. And I just loved that.
Another thing I really liked was the story you were telling us, that with the emotions just made it so much better.
And your choice of words were amazing, I couldn't have picked better words to bring across what was needed to be felt.
You did an amazing job, and I look forward to reading more of your works. So don't you ever stop writing and have a great day or night.
Your friend
FlamingPhoenix.
Reviewing with a fiery passion.
Points: 122417
Reviews: 616
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