Young Writers Society

silverhanded says...

Ry/Ty; my brain is so so so attracted to symmetry like that.

Expect more 4am poetry now. %u2764%uFE0F%uFE0F

silverhanded says...

I just wanted to speak to a couple of these points from my perspective--I hope I don't come across too defensively

I understand your comment about vocabulary and your reasoning for making it, however I'd also like to say that personally, it came across as a bit patronizing. I'm sure part of that is just me having very strong opinions on unconventional word use and word creation. Firstly: I'm not sure why you'd say liminal doesn't make sense in context; personally I think both dictionary definitions fit (at a sensory threshold, barely perceptible & relating to an intermediate phase) but maybe that didn't translate? As far as I know, there isn't another word that better fits that context and intention, but I'm definitely always looking to expand my vocabulary so hmu if you know one!

As for precipicitory: of course it's not real I actually searched for a solid ten minutes through various physical and online dictionaries for an adjective form of precipice but failed to find one. (That's a lie--precipiced is a word that exists and is very rarely used, but unfortunately it didn't quite fit the meaning I was going for.) I'm a big advocate of making up words as long as there's some concrete knowledge of word parts and form and meaning.

Personally, I'm not sure the abstraction is something I'm comfortable talking about. When you move into addressing meaning and intention I don't like to interject my opinion, as I feel like poetry (like any other form of art) is something that must be felt somewhat intuitively. However, I will say that vagueness and density is pretty common for me; without giving too much personal detail, I'm just more comfortable wrapping the personal stuff up.

Shape, in my opinion, doesn't necessarily lend (or need to lend) meaning to a poem. I understand the search for meaning there, but I also don't agree with your implication that "art for art's sake" is inherently bad/lavish/unnecessary/distracting/whatever made you caution against it. Form in poetry (and again, remember that this is just my view and explanation thereof) isn't inherently meaningful or meaningless, and in this case has more to do with aesthetics and the formatting of the larger body of work from which I've pulled this piece than anything else.

The comment on inability to discuss anatomy came from the fact that I was thinking of anatomy in a more academic sense: medical anatomy and the study/ science linked to it.

Lastly, a nitpick: the "narrator" of a poem is referred to as the speaker. You said writer; I just want to make it clear that in poetic analysis the author and speaker are treated as separate because first person poetry is not always from the direct perspective of the poet.

Again, hope the tone here isn't too confrontational, I'm just always interested in discussing and explaining my poetry.

GoldenQuill says...

Hello there!
Thank you for taking the time to reply to my review. However, I did want to point out that my questions, concerns, and thoughts are completely subjective and personal. When I ask you a question in a review, it's because another reader may internally ask the same upon reading. I'm merely trying to give you perspective beyond your own. What you do with this perspective is totally your own choice. You are not required to edit a single letter. This is all just from my perspective, as your work and your reply is from yours. This is to give you further clarity and understanding not just on your work, but how it may be perceived.
You are allowed to write however you want. My reviews simply point back at it and say, "Hey, here is what a reader who had never read your work may think and say, just so you're aware." This website is not only for sharing your work, but building your skill. You can only gain skill by outside perspective. There is no faster or easier way to do such.

When I mentioned art for art's sake, I specifically didn't say why to steer clear from it, because I am not telling you to steer clear from it. I said to be aware of it. I should've modified my words there to "and be careful if this wasn't what you were trying to do".

Again, my reviews are just for further knowledge about what your audience may be thinking.

Nothing in my review was meant to be taken as patronizing or harsh, so I apologize if it came off this way. This is a nitpick I myself get often, as I said before, so I understand how it feels to hear it.

All in all, art is subjective, so it's impossible to "grade". Which is why I do not. I enjoyed this piece, I just thought there is always room for new understanding and growth.

Have a good one, and always keep writing.