Published January 19, 2012
An ashen haze,
Blends the slopes of coal,
With the velvet curtain,
Hung overhead.
Light is absent.
Sound is muted.
Left alone,
With no one.
Footprints carved,
Into the ground,
Leave paths that lead
Nowhere.
Points:
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IP address:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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141,616 Literary Works • 675,166 Reviews
Hay there! It's Zly Quill here, as requested.
This review will be short and sweet and to the point, much like your loverly poem. :}
So, 'leave' and 'lead' for some reason together sound weird and made me have to reread it. I think perhaps you should try to revise it. I'm not sure.
Other than that, I did not catch error. I liked the sound of this poem, the way it felt; everything. It was quite lovely and beautiful. Teach me to write like this, okay?
PM me or go to my spaceship if you ever want me to review something again of yours, okay? I wish I could make it longer, but it's really too good to comment on!
Love & Blessings,
Zly Quill