Seriously, Tig?

YESHH!!! I like it. It does not need help. Good job!

Hi! I love this poem, it really reminds me of my own dog! I think it's smashing how you created this poem out of something so simple. It's light, funny, and easy to follow (it's nice to have a break from all the deep dark stuff in YWS)!

A few notes... There is a fine line between a poem sounding light and funny, and sounding like you're just talking to someone. I think that in some places in your poem, it did seem more like a section of dialogue than a humorous poem. Despite this, it all tied together and made it rather funny.

Great job

Haha. I really like this poem. It describes my dogs too. I love how ALOT of people can relate to this especially since almost everyone has had a dog or cat or something else. It definitely describes my dog Marley. Except with toilet paper instead of Muffins, haha. This was a great poem and I think you should keep up the good writing!

-pandabear7

This makes me think of all pets. They love you, know you feed them, enjoy everything if you love them back. But sometimes they just don't understand. They smell a muffin, they think, 'this smells like a very nice muffin' and they eat a muffin. Overall, it's very hard to spot a dog from eating a muffin. I've seen very well trained dogs on TV though. So it isn't impossible.

That aside, the poem is very good. The rhymes are excellent and the story is good. I could stand to read a longer version of this. It flows well too.

Grammatically, it could use work, mainly in punctuation. It's hard to explain, so just be sure to read it again and focus on the punctuation.

I give it a 7.8/10 good job!

This reminds me of my dogs sometimes. We do all we can for the dogs, but they still steal your food off the table or counters as if it's their own food. Still, we love our dogs. It's nice to see some funny poems about topics we can positively relate to. All I'm going to be thinking about "WHY DID YOU EAT THAT MUFFIN?????" today as I'm doing other things. It's weird because my dogs don't eat muffins.

Keep up writing.

CCWriting Rainbow <3

Hello Chips here with a review to hopefully help your poem, as suggested :L.

You have a good idea here, dogs have a very playful element which you have shown. I also liked how you used some capital letters in-between sentences for a greater effect, and it was also not the traditional structure use in poetry, which was interesting to see.

"We feed you,
And water you,
And play with you."

I thought the third phrase here of "And water you", didn't quite fit in reference to a dog, watering is more associated with plants. Perhaps rephrasing that line?

"Did you HAVE to, Tig?"

While the use of capitals was good, it became slightly overbearing and took away from the humor if there is too much emphasis in each line. I would suggest using italics for the word, "HAVE", here instead.

"We endure your nips,
We endure your scratches,
We endure your random bouts of playfulness."

Here, I think the last line didn't fit with the other two. I think it would be even better if you had given an example of a "random bout of playfulness". The third line, since its the final one in this part should have some variation in the beginning of the sentence to differentiate it a bit. Maybe, "We *even* endure ...." Something along those lines.

"I mean, SERIOUSLY, Tig."

I would cut out this line, it's more a less a repetition of a line mentioned.

"What do we have to do
To make a good dog out of you?"

I liked the random rhyming here.

"WHY DID YOU EAT THAT MUFFIN????"

In addition to the capital letters, which are fine, there are too many question marks. Three's a crowd and four's just simply too much, I think one question mark would have been fine.

I felt you could have played up the humor element and drama in your poem as a whole. It could have even ended with the dog, Tig's input e.g. *And your only explanation was woof!* Something along those lines. Or add something unexpected for dramatic effect like, maybe the dog didn't actually eat the muffin, it could just simply misplaced or the character could have forgotten they ate it.


Overall this piece has potential. Hope this review helped. Keep writing!

--Chippy

Hello shinobithief!

I seriously had to laugh, sorry I just had to. This is so much fun! I'll bet it wasn't at the time though! Sounds like my dog... Every time she begs my brother he gives her a treat so she almost looks like a barrel... But she doesn't like those anymore so she doesn't eat them. But she does like human food, but barely ever makes it known. Our cats are the naughty ones though. I don't think this poem needs much help, it's pretty good.

~Kelpies.