A List

by sharitm2

Published November 14, 2011

Tears
That hadn’t been shed in years,

Lies
That hadn’t been realized,

Time
Ticking away with each chime,

Rain
Teeming down my window pane,

Memories
Buzzing round like bumblebees,

Music
Quieting with its lyric,

Laughter
A happily ever after,

And Love
Concluding the list on life above.

Comments & reviews · 6
ZombieSquirrel wrote a review Review · Nov 15, 2011

I loved it, I really can't nit pick at all, it was simple and fun to read, I read through it several times and I thought very highly of it, i'd love to see you take this concept and apply it to something large, but you let your creativity go wherever you want it to go, great job mate :)

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kimmybee
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kimmybee wrote a review Review · Nov 15, 2011

GREAT JOB! :')
I love the feel of serenity one gets from reading it. You could read it many times and the feeling would only grow. Put it on a lovely plaque and put it somewhere so it's the first thing you see in the morning and right there you have a lovely day ahead of you. The purity being exulted!
This is the epitome of 'less is more'
So few words, so many said. A thousand pictures, feelings in such simple words. I believe this is the definition of perfect.

DEFINITELY KEEP WRITING!!!!!!!!!!
and don't forget to be awesome (DFTBA)
Kimmybee.

SlightlySenile wrote a review Review · Nov 14, 2011

Great :) I really like the simplistic style to it and the flow of it seemed to fit.
Maybe to just add a bit more effect to the last line, so maybe be 'And Love, concluding on life with a smile.' Just so it seems more heart felt :)
Then again, I'm not known for poetry. So once again really well done and Keep writing :)

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anna91423
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anna91423 commented Comment · Nov 14, 2011

This is lovely, it's so simple but I wouldn't change a thing. It's got an almost innocent feel to it, like it's from a childs perspective. Really great job :)

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Ignatius5453
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Ignatius5453 commented Comment · Nov 14, 2011

I liked the format, it was easy to read and flowed well. Not a bad idea, might have started a new form of porety; the sonnet, the haiku, the free-verse, and now.... the list! Awesome, great job, keep writing!



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