Young Writers Society

agreeing with berrylique here. The title spelling pushed me away, you might want to watch that.

Other than that and the spelling errors, you did an excellent job in expressing your emotions through emotional/dark actions and thoughts. Few can really do this and make it seem less like a rant of death and more of poetic sense of expression. But you seem to do it pretty well

pretty ok, except for some spelling mistakes.
also, the title was mispelt, giving others a bad impression.

cool

sorry i fixed it though

shar_shar_says_rawr wrote:can you feel the pain lingering through your v[s]a[/s]eins
it can't escape
it wont escape
it's now [s]pernament[/s] permanent to your blood
you're now suffering an [s]di[/s]I'd like to see that
i hate to admit but this is all my fault
you're now suffering and i like to see it
revenge is bitter sweet dont you agree
the shamful triumph of sweet revenge

chorus
you just had to chain me
to the thoughts of broken hearts
the sting of rejection well it's coming back to me
you killed me fast
i guess it couldn't last
it hurts to know you never cared
you just had to say goodbye
(i promise i'll get to back)

you always told me to [s]sahre[/s] share my feelings
well i'm sharing them now
does you heart sting an [<-]d[space]beat slower
when i mention that i HATE you i know
i guess i hurt you more

(chorus)

i keep a gun in my pocket
and a cross [s]agaisnt[/s] against my heart
i swear if you hurt me again i'll shoot
and let the bullet do the work
i'll start the riot and then end it quick
do you feel the sweat rolling down from your head
the cross says i swear to do it
i'll never break this promise
beware revenge it's bitter sweet
the shameful triumph of sweet revenge

(chorus)