Published July 26, 2007
can you feel the pain lingering through your veins
it cant escape
it wont escape
it's now permanent to your blood
you're now suffering and I like to see that
i hat to admit but this is all my fault
you're now suffering and I like to see it
revenge is bitter sweet don't you agree
the shameful triumph of sweet revenge
chorus
you just had to chain me
to the thoughts of broken hearts
the sting of rejection well it's coming back to me
you killed me fast
i guess it couldn't last
it hurts to know you never cared
you just had to say goodbye
(i promise I'll get to back)
you always told me to share my feelings
well I'm sharing them now
does you heart sting an dbeat slower
when i mention that i HATE you i know
i guess i hurt you more
(chorus)
i keep a gun in my pocket
and a cross against my heart
i swear if you hurt me again I'll shoot
and let the bullet do the work
I'll start the riot and ten end it quick
do you feel the sweat rolling down from your head
the cross says i swear to do it
I'll never break this promise
beware revenge it bitter sweet
the shameful triumph of sweet revenge
(chorus)
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
agreeing with berrylique here. The title spelling pushed me away, you might want to watch that.

Other than that and the spelling errors, you did an excellent job in expressing your emotions through emotional/dark actions and thoughts. Few can really do this and make it seem less like a rant of death and more of poetic sense of expression. But you seem to do it pretty well
pretty ok, except for some spelling mistakes.
also, the title was mispelt, giving others a bad impression.
cool
sorry i fixed it though
I know spelling doesn't really matt when listening to it on the radio but for goodness sake try and proof read a little before you go posting all willy nilly. I got your point. I was distracted by the grammatical errors but it looks to be a rather dark and tormented love/hate song.