Published July 4, 2010
Your sweet red lips in the candle light,
My deep, deep hunger I can no longer fight.
Those deep blue seas that wash away the waves,
A far, white moon cast shadows in the caves.
Those long, cool nights in the prairie grass,
A white pure flower we know will never last.
The old, calm tree that twists and grieves,
A dream to feel the summer breeze blow through out its leaves.
Forever, we are the same and forlorn.
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141,616 Literary Works • 675,163 Reviews
Thanks guys for the comments. Is there anything that you think I could improve? Do I nees more detail? Should I make it longer?
Really powerful imagry you got going on here. I love the way you associatew the tree and how it grieves, makes me feel the narrator is going through the same emotions. I love any poem with great imagery. Also the choice of language was great, and it was structured superbly. Well done!
This is really beautiful....I can imagine being there and seeing those sights....I'm not good at reviews, but I really like this one....keep writing!