Requiem for the Living

It was extremely visual, and had some amazing descriptions. i like the line 'Only to sink in depthless sand.'

Its good because when sand is normally something safe and solid, the word depthless makes it sound perilous and more liquid like. it sounds like everything had been turned upside down, and that nothing is what you thought it was.

but that's my opinion, someone might see it differently.

Angel

Thanks. I'll consider lengthening it. Originally it was just the first two and last two lines, but I knew that was too short. I was able to stretch that out, so I can probably manage a few more lines sometime.

"Struggling survivors struggle to cope" - the repetition didn't sound too good here.

"Only to sink in depthless sand" - "depthless"? That sounds pretty odd. I think I know what you're trying to say, maybe not, but that word means two-dimentional.

A very good poem, cryptic, but not overly so. The general mood is well portrayed, your style is nice and your punctuation accurate. To emphasise what Alainna said, make it longer. You have a good piece here but I think it could be stretched, that would give it more substance.

I really like this, it's meaningful.

I really liked this:

We think the dark is at its end,
But find it finds us once again.