Published April 3, 2007
A dark cloud eclipses my heart
The turmoil and pain, a warm sea
I cannot find the sun.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
141,266 Literary Works • 674,332 Reviews
Pretty short...i assume you were going for effect. it definatly does give an effect being so short but i think you should wait until more comes to you and add it onto this because just as a reader its easy to overlook because its only 3 lines.
just a though
oh my gosh, I'm so sorry, it was just so short and I don't really know tha layout for a haiku, and it just looked like one..
I don't know about you, but I sure think that could pass off as a haiku!
My apoligies,
~~:Brooke:~~
Short, but sweet. I like it.
Thanks. It's not a haiku though, but that's okay.
I've never been much of a hiku [or however you spell it] fan, but I liked this one. I know this isn't much of a critique as it is more of a congradulations, hiaku's are hard to write [and have them be good] bravo!
-Brooke