You seek to console me or give me reasoning for continuation
when you fail to realize that no amount of praise or tributes can change my mirror of myself
reflecting on my inner past
all I see is the shroud of trauma that has been placed on my shoulders since the beginning.
You say that you can hear them and you can be my champion,
a lovely thought, to see you, in sleek armor shining in the bright sun, protecting and loving.
I know your pain and contortion but you do not know mine.
Are there any similarities between ourselves to comprehend?
You're new and oblivious to see how deep the cuts go.
I don't let you see the black mold encompassing my body or that breathing feels like a crush wound.
You compliment and support me when I need and I give you my many blessings that I can spare.
But the image that stares back at me disgusts me to the point that I spit on my future and the merriment that may never come if I continue to keep staring at this liquid meant for washing.
Yes, I smile and gleam but only to distract from the constant weight of being present.
I hope you can understand that I don't want you to feel like a guardian. Your involvement has been cherished in my heart that it causes rain and thunder.
The others are so clueless about our surroundings and are battles.
The violins will soon disappear and the music will end, giving way to the silence that has always been patiently waiting.
I want to be selfish and keep you near me.
But the whispers of a gray ghost says that you're better off
which is so true in numerous ways.
For the boat rocking on the wild oceans can only keep one of us to shore
and I won't let you give up, you'll see the kings and gold. '
For my persons will be swallowed to the cold abyss
Where I was birthed from and shall return to.
I hope you know that my love for you will never end.
I won't leave, not in the fortnight.
Please give me a few more Millenium to hold you,
to squeeze your body and absorb your warmth,
to breathe you in
to see your light glimmer.
I love you
Please repeat that.