Kyōkan

It was cold for April, dark for the time of morning, and the sakura blossoms that so warmly welcomed the coming of spring had yet to show their faces.

The phenomena had caused much discussion in Haruhi's school; North Tokyo's Prefecture Junior High. Most of the teacher's decided that the cause stemmed from a cold and bitter winter that had yet to release it's hold on Japan's most well-known city.

Indeed, the weather had been bitterly cold, gray and dark. Even now when spring was to be in full bloom.

Haruhi Takamori didn't see much reason for all the concern. To her, cold, gray and dark was everyday, sunshine and blossoms or not.

Most students dream of a rose colored school life. The blossoming youth would flourish with new romance, ambitions, and nourishing effort to contribute the bettering of the school and of their class.

For Haruhi Tamagachi, things were different. The succulent color of a blossoming rose dulled to a greenish-gray when she looked at it. Vibrant hues lost their vivid life and faded into mere backgrounds.

Where other students saw a school, Haruhi saw only the concrete walls, hard-tiled floors, and cold metal pipes. It wasn't as though Haruhi were depressed. Far from it she had concluded to herself when the question arose. Life, at least this one, just didn't interest her. No matter how she looked at the real world, nothing fit the way it needed to. School was boring and people were boring...predictable even. Apathy was in her nature she supposed. Somewhere inside her, she wanted to care. She wanted to experience a rose-colored life, but the world would only vary in shades of gray for her.

A particularly dreary morning on April 19th of the year 2018 Haruhi's disposition began to change...

"Haruhi, can I speak with you for a moment?" Their teacher, a tall woman with pleasently high cheekbones that were hidden behind overly sized spectacles, motioned to Haruhi with her right hand.

"Your father called the office asking them to let you know that you must take the train home from school. You're mother was allegedly in a car wreck this morning, but don't worry dear, I hear she is okay."

Haruhi shrugged and turned away without a word. Perhaps more concern would have been expected at this news, but Haruhi wasn't surprised. Her mother, an alcoholic, crashed the car due to substance abuse at least once every six months. Her father, a lawyer, always made sure charges were dropped.

Haruhi could vaguely remember a time when such information would devestate her. She would spend the day chewing penicls and rushing to the office between classes to call her parents. These days, it was easier to not care. Caring meant expectations; expectations meant dissapointment.

Haruhi returned to her seat without another word.

"Class, before we begin, I want to introduce a new student we have joining us this year." Sensi Murikami shuffled through a few papers looking more distressed than usual. Her pointed gaze shot clear over her spectacles and bore holes into the papers she held. She was looking for a name Haruhi decided, a name that had escaped her memory at the thought of the living being.

"Sensi?" Eri didn't wait to be acknowledged before continuing. "Is it a boy or girl?"

Sensi Murikami's eyebrows furrowed more deeply creating strange shadows on her forhead from the dim greenish glow of flourecent lights overhead.

Of course she doesn't remember Haruhi sighed inwardly. So predictable

"Ah here it is! Shouta Nakamori!" Sensi beamed at the crisp white slip in her hand.

The girls began to whisper excitedly about the possibility of a new cute boy in class and what a strong sounding name Shouta was.

With the girls outnumbering the boys three to one, any new prospect was big news.

Haruhi watched her classmates with the little hints of envy her dulled heart could feel. Somehow, even with the triviality of it all, it seemed they were getting more out of life.

Only one other girl in the entire classroom seemed to hold Haruhi's same sentiments on the matter. She was only thing that had ever piqued Haruhi's apathetic interest.

Akira Monogari

To Haruhi's knowledge, Akira only ever spoke once a year. During the first day of school the homeroom teacher would call for roll and every student was to stand and give their name and the name of the school they had preiviously attended. When she was called upon, Akira would stand suddenly and responded slowly, "Ah, keer, ah, Mono, gari." she would sit just as suddenly never giving the name of her previous school.

It wasn't necessarily her response that was so startling however. If her regal and traditional Japanese appearance didn't catch enough attention (jet black hair resembeling the feathers of a crow hanging just past her waist and bluntly cut fringe laying just above her deep set almond eyes) perhaps her unsettleing but elegant aura would. If all else failed, her voice, unnaturally low and ressonating deeply within the eardrums would leave a lasting impression. The volume of her voice did not differentiate between distances so those standing at a farther proximity from her could hear her just as well as those who were nearby. Her voice had a wind-like element to it, less like a breeze and more like the sound of a large jug being blown into.

After the first day of attendence, teachers avoided calling Akira's name for roll. In fact, they avoided calling on Akira for anything. Perhaps they felt that they were being disrespectful, wasting such a unique voice on something as trivial as school. Or perhaps they were afraid of her. Every year new students and teachers would freeze in her presence if she passed by. Something was supernatural about her, it was all consuming and yet, no one questioned her origin.

Instead, Haruhi's classmates would discuss about her what seemed to be,at least to Haruhi, pointless matters.

"I tried to ask Akira if she wanted classroom duties next week, she didn't even look up at me, she just kept looking forward! There is something wrong with that girl"

Chiko was the class president. It was her duty to assign the class different duties every week. Haruhi knew Chiko could care less about the class or who did what, she chose to be class president because she was determined to be a respected student. Chiko was like that, always looking forward.

"When I tried talking to her the other day during lunch, it was like she wasn't even looking at me...she was looking right through me!"

"Same thing happened to me, Eri! It's like, she never looks you in the eye...she isn't even looking at you!"

At first, general dislike for Akira had grown among the students. It was more than a misunderstanding but less than an outright hatred. However, as time progressed, her presence was less of an anomally and more of a simple reality. The students began to overlook her like the teachers did. Her presence was one that apparently called less attention to itself and more to the way her presence affected those around her.

She was always there but her significance came not from the attention she was given but rather the lack of it.

Haruhi noticed that Akira didn't seem to mind being overlooked. In her opinion, Akira wasn't a loner or depressed. In fact, the way Akira's alert and bright almond eyes looked right through people seemed more from a rose colored disposition than any of their other classmates. In that sense, Haruhi was also vaguely jealous of Akira as well. She could also sense within herself a vague desire to form a friendship with Akira. But inevitably she avoided her. Familiarity becomes predictability, and predictability is dissapointing.

It was nearing the end of Haruhi's second year of middle school. She sat in her desk as she always did, chin propped up on her elbows staring through the dull markings on the chalkboard. Her choppy dark brown hair, she never bothered to care for it, fell into her eyes like it always did and another shade of gray clouded her disposition.

There was a knock at the door just after Akira's name was habitually skipped during roll call. The Sensi went to the door and let in a rather unfortunate looking boy. His hair was shaved to his overly sized head and his large nose was bent slightly to the left as though it had been broken and never properly set. His left elbow was bent inward tye-dyed purple, blue, and green. He was wearing the typical uniform for their school, displaying all of the schools color's: faded black, bleak gray, and off-white. The boy marched in arrogantly and stopped in the dead center of the front of the room. Instantly, the already stuffy classroom became stale and pungent.

He didn't let the teacher introduce him before blurting out his name.

"I'm Shouta! I got kicked out of my last highschool cause I got into too many fights."

He let out an ugly smile revealing that he was missing three of his top front teeth.

Shouta's small dark eyes darted back and forth making bold eye-contact with whomever he could.

The girls in the class looked down at their desks in obvious dissapointment.

That's what happens when you get your hopes up, Haruhi thought.

What seemed like several minutes passed while uncomfortable shifts and coughs filled the room.Even Sensi seemed unsure of what to say.

Shouta's darting eyes suddenly stopped at the back corner of the room where Akira sat. Every breath was held and for a moment, this boy's overwhelming confidence waivered.

But almost immediately Shouta recovered himself and shot Akira a nasty grin.

Haruhi looked back to see if Akira noticed. Akira didn't seem to be focused on Shouta's figure although she looked in his direction. Her brows were furrowed and she looked as though she might be in pain.

This puzzeled Haruhi but she didn't have much time to think about it.

"There's an open desk in the third row next to Miss Haruhi."

"You mean next to that ugly girl?" Shouta wrinkled his crooked nose making him look a bit like an old man.

Haruhi shriveled in her seat. She never considered herself to be particularly pretty, but ugly had seemed too extreme. No one in the class jumped to her defenese, not that she had expected them to. Haruhi's bond to the class was non-existent. She knew they felt just as indifferent towards her but their silent agreement with the distasteful description gave Haruhi a nasty feeling, like swallowing bitter medicine and feeling momentarily ill from the aftertaste.

Shouta lumbered over to the desk next to Haruhi's all the while grinning through a toothless smile and slitted eyes. Haruhi could feel his stare along with the rest of the class. She sighed inwardly making up her own calculated scenarios in which she would be forced to react to him. His looming figure towered over her for a few brief moments before plopping down into the seat. She could hear his slow breathing; smell the layers of sweat.

What a bother

"What an ugly girl." Shouta whispered to Chiko. He pointed his sausage-like finger in Haruhi's direction. Chiko sat in front of Shouta and across from Haruhi. She turned to look at Haruhi and seemed to be seriously considering his remark. Haruhi's cheeks burned but she couldn't quite muster up enough energy to feel ashamed.

Chiko shrugged making her dyed golden curls bounce up to her round face. "She isn't pretty." she agreed before returning her gaze to the front.

Shouta smirked at Haruhi. "Weak, ugly, and dumb." he whispered to her.

Haruhi envisioned herself responding with a quippy retort. Perhaps she would feel better if she could respond...but she didn't have the energy to try.

Lunch wasn't any better. Shouta sat with the rest of the guys in the back right corner of the room. Haruhi sat in the front of the room alone, but she could still hear his voice.

"There ain't any cute girls in this class!" Shouta complained loudly.

The boys some from intimidation, some from apathy, and some from real agreement nodded along with his words.

"All we get are ugly cows like her." Haruhi could feel their stares without turning. Even the girls seemed to be staring, greatful that they were at least, not compared to cows.

Shouta lowered his voice "What about that girl? The one that never talks. What about her?"

Silence seemed to answer his question.

"You all afraid of her or somthin?"

Haruhi heard the groan of metal and wood as Shouta hoisted himself out of the desk.

Heavy footfalls and the loud breathing filled the stale silence.

His large silloute blotted out the graying light from the window. A spring storm was blowing in.

Akira glanced up at Shouta. Instantly, pain filled her expressive eyes and her shoulders slumped forward. She looked as if she were trying to carry him on her back. Her thin lips pulled the delicately pale skin around her mouth down.

Shouta glared at her, "Why's everyone afraid of you, huh?"

Akira's eyes drooped as low as her shoulders.

Shouta pounded his meaty fist into Akira's desk making it tremble. "Don't ignore me when I ask you a question, WOMAN!" He spit the word out like a curse word.

A streak of lightning revealed a glistening mist in Akira's eyes but she remained silent like always. She reached out to Shouta aiming for his awkwardly bent left arm.

It all happened in slow motion. Shouta's slitted eyes widened to the size of small marbles and he raised a flattened hand above his head.

There was a crackle of thunder; SLAP!

A tremor went through the class with a promise of a storm.

Akira made no movement, she was still as stone. Sensi walked back into the room announcing that lunch was over.

Another streak of lightning illuminated the ever darkening sky.

Haruhi began to count...

School let out early due to an incoming typhoon. The weather reports claimed that the storm was blowing in quickly. A chill in the air indicated the changing of winds. Haruhi changed from her school-mandated black loafers into her own brown flats. Goose bumps rose on the skin of her legs that was exposed by the spring uniform skirts. She mentally cursed the school's restrictive policies on seasonal uniforms.

Having neglected a coat in the damp humid morning, Haruhi wrapped her school sweater tightly around her core and set herself to walking towards the school entrance.

Suddenly she heard a voice she was growing to dread.

"EY! EY YOU THERE!" Shouta's figure appeared thirty feet in front of Haruhi, but he wasn't looking in her direction.

Three other kids in Haruhi's class surrounded Shouta: Chiko, Emi, and a thin and frail boy named Aoki.

The three of them jogged to the entrance of the school without noticing Haruhi behind them. "HEEEEY!!! AKEEEERRRAAAAAAA!!!!" Yelled Chiko.

Haruhi was close enough to see the acne dotting Shouta's face but they still took no notice of her.

Shouta shot his arm out and grabbed at Akira's slender frame. She had appeared seemingly out of thin air at Chiko's call.

"Hey there you little slut!" Shouta jeered without any evidence.

Akira blinked at him solemly.

"You just think you're so much better than everyone don't you? All high and mighty and silent." Shouta tightened his grip on her thin wrist.

Chiko squeezed past Shouta and stood directly in front of Akira so closely their noses touched.

"What is UP with you? Why don't you look at us, huh?"

Akira's expression remained but her eyes pierced forward through Chiko's figure.

"You outta show some respect to us, Akira." Shouta let the last word with a grunt as he kicked her in the stomach.

Akira figure bent at the middle and a low breath was released from her core.

I should help, I should tell them to stop. But it's not really any of my business. It isn't my life...

The cold air felt heavier than ever, the clouds were nearly black sinking to the ground with rain.

Haruhi felt short of breath. She walked towards the group trying to stay as far to the left as possible.

You just have to get around them...

Chiko's yellow fingers curled around Akira's lovely hair and she yanked her to the ground.

"You are NOT better than us! Shouta is way tougher than you!"

Shouta beamed greedily at Akira's crumpled form, but he wasn't satisfied.

"YOU HEAR THAT YOU UGLY BITCH? I DEMAND RESPECT!"

Ugly...

Something like needles shot through Haruhi's veins. She could feel the distaste, the illness of before when Shouta had called her ugly.

Without thinking Haruhi ran up to the group a grabbed collapsed next to Akira.

"That's enough!" her small voice could barely be heard over Shouta's growl.

His fist slammed into Akira's skull with so much force her head bounced off the cement.

"What's going on up there?"

Haruhi had never been so glad to hear Sensi's voice.

A strong gust of wind came from the north and large rain drops began to dot the sidewalk.

Shouta, Chiko, and Aoki took of running down the road away from the school leaving Haruhi knelt by Akira's body.

Sensi ran up to the entrance and called after the three but her voice was lost in the strengthening wind.

"Take her inside, Haruhi. I'm going to call the police."

Akira blinked slowly like Haruhi's mother did as the alcohol began to claim her conciousness.

A thin trail of blood snaked from her ear.

Haruhi lifted her small body onto her shoulders and carried her into the school. Haruhi's resolve to not get involved dissolved; she refused to leave Akira's side.

Shortly after laying her down in the nurse's office, Akira lost consciousness.

Haruhi fell asleep beside her as the heart of the typhoon raged outside.

Light, warm and clean.

Birdsong, cheery and soothing.

A slight breeze, clearing the air and drying damp cheeks...

Haruhi slowly began to open her eyes. A sense of confusion that accompanies the waking from a deep sleep fogged her brain. She was young again, in the warmth and safety of her bed...

But no...that wasn't right. She wasn't laying in a bed, only her head rested on the side of one. Akira's still form was before her facing the wall;memories came flooding back.

And yet, something was still different. Haruhi couldn't put it into words.

Haruhi glanced around through half-opened eyes. The small room was completely white with the bed against the back wall. The door had been closed but a window on the opposite end of the room had been opened. Warm sunlight poured in and a gentle breeze lifted and lowered the sheer curtains from the floor.

She sat up and suddenly became aware of a throbbing in her head. She felt like her head rather than Akira's had been slammed into the concrete.

Haruhi ran her slender fingers through her unwashed crew cut hair and winced.

You feel as I feel...

The low wind-like voice couldn't be mistaken...

Haruhi gently pulled Akira's form over to more clearly see her face: she was still unconsious.

Through the window a small Sakura blossom floated in and landed on foot of the bed.

Haruhi's eyes widened and her usually wired jaw came unhinged.

The storm! The trees! Is it finally spring? How long have I been here?

With a loud creak the door opened and four figures filed in.

Shouta stood in front with Chiko and Aoki on either side. Sensi brought up the rear.

But something was different about them. Chiko's form was gray and her shoulders, usually tall and proud were slumped. Aoki's thin frame was nearly transparent. He looked ghostly and forlorn. But Shouta's form had undergone the most change. His large and intimidating aura had vanished and his body was covered in the tye-dyed bruises from his arm.

You see as I see...

Her voice again, louder and stronger. Haruhi glanced again at Akira's unconscious figure.

Shouta approached the bed with the same arrogant ganter, but it didn't match the fear in his eyes.

"She's hurt real bad isn't she?" Shouta didn't address his comment.

"That's what you get when you don't show respect!" He muttered.

Haruhi heard his words loudly. She heard them said in a much deeper, angrier tone.

"Com'ere boy, lemme teach you some respect!"

Haruhi could hear Shouta's cries as something hard slapped against his skin...

"Dad! Stop! I do respect you!" he screeched.

You hear as I hear...

Haruhi spun around to face Akira. "WHO IS TALKING?!?" she was surprised to find a breathy quality in her own voice.

My name is Kyokan...

The voice was deep, it echoed on the groan of wind that rustled every leaf, dead or newly blooming. It resonated in every cavern of her body.

"Empathy? Your name is empathy?"

I am the spirit that allows you to feel as others feel, to see as others see, and to hear as others hear...

Haruhi felt dizzy. The others in the room seemed to have frozen. Time had slowed.

"Where did you come from?"

I've lived inside Akira since she was born...her spirit was born from an empathetic nature...

"Well how come I've never heard you before?" Haruhi stared at Akira trying to make sense of everything she was learning.

I posess only those who reach outside of themselves selflessly...

A low wind groaned from outside the window and the word "ugly" filled Haruhi's ears.

"You mean, when I went back to help Akira, you...posessed me?"

Strong gusts of wind lifted the long specture -like curtains from the floor and reached towards Haruhi. Dying down, the wind sighed and released a bouquet of Sakura blossoms into the room.

The normal passing of time returned.

Chiko stepped towards Akira anh Haruhi, the weight of her parent's expectations forcing her back to arch under the pressure. Haruhi could hear their voices.

"Always look forward Chiko, you must forget the past, manipulate your present and aspire to the future. You must. not. fail."

Haruhi found she could only look through Chiko, into the future that she was working for. Chiko must only view her present self as a vessel to get to the future. Chiko must never even look at herself.

The world that was so dull to Haruhi suddenly had interest. The dark and the cold was light and warm. Predictable people now had memories and desires; motives and fears.

But what of the dissapointment? What of painful expectations?

Akira's body stirred. Everyone in the room froze.

She opened one golden eye, then the other. She smiled and sighed deeply.

"So spring had come at last."

Akira slowly raised herself to a sitting position and gathered the sheets in her hands. She looked each person in the eyes, reflecting back at them what Haruhi could now see they displayed to her.

Her eyes landed on Haruhi's. The deep voice sighed.

"It is hard to see so much pain. It is dissapointing and can hurt very deeply at times. But the warmth you can experience...Ah, it is the warming hope of spring!"

Haruhi felt tears brimming. Something beautiful could be felt from Akira...something comfortingly authentic.

"Empathy, is the rose-color in a gray life." she continued and a slow smile spread across her face.

Haruhi let herself immitate Akira's smile...and the warmth of the sun reached into her heart.

Energy and light filled her spirit for the first time since she had been young.

Kyokan whispered to them gently.

Show them your light...