I hate it when you lie, because i can tell and you know i can. I hate your eyes,i can get lost in them for hours. I hate how addicted you are to drugs, i just want you to get better. I hate how you can act like you didn't leave me. I hate how i just forgave you. I hate how you smile and it gives me butterflies. I hate your new haircut, the one you got because of her. I hate how you look at her. I hate how you talk about her. I hate that you love her. I hate how you heard that i loved you, i wanted to tell you. I hate how you were holding onto her while i was crying over you. I hate how you jokingly say you love me, because i wish it was real. I hate that you still love her, because why cant it be me? I hate how she has you feeling, because nobody should feel that way. I hate how you look at me, like you did before you left me for her. But really I hate the fact that i love you and that no matter what happens i will love you, but i cant let you see that. So when you blow me kisses i wont accept them, when you sign out that you love me ill just look at you funny, and when you just straight up say you love me ill say stop messing around because i don't mean anything to you. I'm simply just a distraction from her.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,022 Literary Works • 672,754 Reviews
Hey there, I am here for a short review.
This felt like you were talking to yourself like I do with my diary. It's easy to love, hard to make it worth it. I like your choice of small 'i' and less punctuation which gave it a homey talking to oneself feelings. The confusion was portrayed nicely, feeling of loving someone, while going through different aspects about them and in the end deciding on a conclusion you want for yourself.
The writing piece was quite short, but it was emotional. What I would say is that you can try poetry, and I would especially suggest freestyle poetry structure. You can learn to express things with the freedom of not having to make it rhyme or anything.
I enjoyed reading this, I hope to read more from you and will have longer reviews next time.
Keep Writing👍
-Alice
Hii just wanna let you know that you did an absolute terrific job on this because when I was reading it gave that exact same feeling as the original ¨10 things I hate about you ¨ Also in that second to last line of ¨I don´t mean anything to you¨ I will not lie that hit me like a truck I am so sorry that you seem to be going through this please keep your head up and please keep writing because I believe you will inspire somebody out there you inspired me thank you again please keep writing
-Jaygg