I know now what I've been missing for days, months and years.
Tears were all dried up, and every moment is no more a waiting game.
As I look at my past, I can see why I've become so lame.
I maybe fearsome for some points, but now, I'm no longer hopeless.
Troublesome for some aspects, but I'm in no mess.
I realized I'm blessed; and every trial's just a test.
The best is coming like a puzzle-piece
Filling the lost part of the broken art;
Like a heart healing, reviving to repeat the beat from the start.
I'm no longer sad, as I've seen the brighter day waiting for me.
For I've seen the light, and I know where/what I want to be.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Hi there!
A few nitpicks:
Consider adding in the bolded word.
That should be may be. Also, what does this mean? It makes no sense to me.
Instead of the dash, consider removing it and adding in "and" so it reads: "And I know where and what I want to be."
Moving on! I liked this poem.
I wasn't so big on the rhyme scheme at first, but now I appreciate it. It was a bit choppy towards the middle, but mostly, it was cute and added to the poem and made things nicer in the end.
Overall, this was a nicely written poem with a beautifully conveyed message. Thank you for sharing. I enjoyed reading it!
Hi, Iggy! Thanks for the review. It's just my way of writing poetry. (I'm not that really good.) I look forward to learning....
In the first two lines, it made me flash back to the memory of my uncle. That was what really caught my attention. The rest of it easily connected with myself, for I know exactly how it feels. The flow is a little off because it starts rhyming, then the scheme changes. Sometimes it works, and here it is something I can overlook due to the word choice. There isn't too much I can say about this without telling you something you already know or repeating myself. It was an enjoyable poem I know many will be able to relate to, like I said, including me. You are a talented writer, and that is for sure.
I feel your sympathy, Luna. Things do happen as part of life, but that doesn't mean we have to giveup. I'm happy to know that someone can relate. Thank you so much.
Hi, PonyzandPokez here to review your very fabulous poem! Here's what I thought,
Spelling: %100
Grammar: %95
Emotion: %75
I love the fact that you have superb rhyming and I can't feel anymore strongly about the meaning of this poem. You did a really wonderful job on this poem, no one really ever has perfect Grammar ratings or perfect emotion ratings. But this is still a great poem and I'm really happy for you since this is one of my favorite poems, I love the poem and I hope you'll write more because I trust it'll be just as good as this. Have a great day!
I hope this helped you! Thanks,
~PonyzandPokez <3
Hi, Ponyz! Thanks for the review. I appreciate your sincerity; and yeah, I look forward to posting some more. We can exchange reviews.
sweet! Love to, in fact I'm posting some new things myself and would LOVE a second opinion!