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Canary word: Present
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125,007 Literary Works • 672,817 Reviews
Woah, Senzafine!
Like this:
My Gosh! I don't think I can express how much I love the attitude in this poem! In my opinion, this is perfect; I wouldn't add or delete anything. The wording was entertaining, the message was concise enough (it didn't let me hanging, but it didn't make me sleepy either), and your lines flow perfectly! This piece is not a piece, it is The Piece!
However, I agree with the reviewer bellow me. In order for this poem to be more likable and organized, it would have to have some stanzas. If I were you, I'd click enter every four lines; it would let the reader breathe, appreciate, and think.
Spoiler
That's all I've got to say. :] Keep writing!
~GeeLyria
Hey there! I will be reviewing your piece of work today!
That is awesome! (I have comma mistakes sometimes and it sucks... ) You did great, but even with all of the correct grammar, you need to add more detail and depth in your poem. That would really move the readers when they read your poems.
You did great, keep on writing my friend. I can't wait to read some more of your work. If you have any questions or need help with anything. Feel free to message me or post on my wall. 
I will gladly help! Thank you again,
Comments
You did a great job writing this poem. I like it a lot, I do have a few things that I need to talk to you about.
Critiques
I have a question... Where are the stanzas or verses of your poem? This is a nice poem but it does need those breaks. Sometimes when readers go to read a piece of work. If they don't see a break in the text, they might not want to read it.
I don't see any grammar mistakes!
Nothing else I can really point out!
~Whitewolfpuppy :3