Winter by Moonlight
Winter by moonlight is a
Wonderful thing with the
Wind whistling in the trees
You can see water droplets forming
Icicles like on a Christmas tree
The snow is as white as white
Can be and as cold as an icy river.
Yet soft and cool to the tongue and
Throat and wont give you the shivers.
You can feel the cold to the very depth
Of your soul but it’s the most
Wonderful feeling ever. While
Watching the winter by moonlight.
So listen and watch as the seasons
Pass and wait for the glow of the moon
To tell you that winter is here.
So you to can watch the winter by moonlight
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
thanks
Wow. REALLY liked it =]
I can visualize it perfectly and I agree with motherflippinflapjacks with how you connected the lines.
For me, it made it all the more interesting to read.
Great work =]
Two main things that I noticed:
1.) I LOVED the way you connected lines to each other by making an ending a beginning. (I hope that made sense.)
2.)You did a lot of telling instead of showing. I read the poem like I would read a book and I didn't get too many mental images from it. I do this a lot with my writing (whether it be poetry, fiction, plays, etc.), so I do this little exercise to help me get description. I take the most descriptive lines from my first draft and put them in one group. I take the lines that tell instead of show and put them in another. I look at the lines that tell and don't show and figure out how I could re-write them to be more descriptive, using my good descriptive lines as an example. I then stick them back in the poem and do some editing to make it flow a little better. I think this might help with this poem.
Nice job though. It was a nice poem.