Young Writers Society

Okay, so here I am. Actually, you have made the perfect review yourself: "The structure is a little random, but I liked it." And that's exactly what I'm going to say, too.

Bit by bit

I gave myself to you.

Three Michelin stars.

Strange menu.

Cheers everyone for the comments, nice to see that you all liked it - although any critiques are welcome!

This is such a good poem!

The imagery produced is so funny. (In a good way) The "jellied eyes" and "sauteed hearts" just sound so descriptive and meaningful, as if the love from the main character is being eaten alive on a platter. It's such an apt metaphor that it becomes relatable and, yes, funny.

I especially liked the first stanza in this poem. It's such an interesting and effective introduction that allows the rest of the poem to open up and be explained. The fact that you begin wiht a standard rhyme and then change the pace can be a tricky this to pull off, but it workd well here. Good job!

This poem was sickeningly good.

I loved it!

I love the metaphors and comparisons, at first it caught me offguard and I had to read it again...

I really like how you've presented something that could be interpreted in different ways, and the imagery was a little disturbing, I have to be honest But I believe it really got your point across, when I read it I had the impression that I've felt what you're feeling in this poem.

I think my favorite lines are your last ones, they kind of thesis your whole point and what you've felt the whole time.

I also liked the untouched, undeserved, unrequited at the end of each stanza, it gave the poem a really good rhythm.

Great job!

I had to read this several times to figure out whether or not I like it, but I really do.

I think the whole concept is quite strong and even though the imagery is rather morbid, I felt touched by it.

The three "courses" worked out really well and each stanza touches on another aspect of what you are describing. Really well done.

I also like how you place

"Untouched"
"Undeserved"

and

"Unrequited" at the end of each stanza.

All in all: Really good poem!