Dearest Haven(edited)

Sorry, one more thing, I also found it very unclear as to whether the boy is talking to the girl, or the other way around? It seems to be talking to the boy first, then goes to the girl...is it supposed to be either way? I just thought it was a little confusing is all.

Dearest Haven, FIRST OF ALL, IS THIS HAVEN OR HEAVEN?

SORRY, I DECIDED TO DO ALL CAPS SO IT STANDS OUT, NOT TO BE RUDE!

What more can I say to you, with this my dieing DYING breath? You brought meaning to a hopeless soul. You saved my life from a prison of endless self pityCOMMA and gave me a second chance.



I love youCOMMA Dearest Haven, more then words could speak. When I first met you, that night of hollowsHALLOWSAPOSTRAPHE eve, you looked amazing. Grace in every step, almost more then I could bear. First words meant nothing. You were in my arms in a short hour, wrapped in warm embrace. Party goers paid us no mind, their drunken haze blocked it all. But alcohol couldn’t blind ME, our love was as clear as the sky on this night.



Months passed slowly and classes grew longer as though they opposed our freedom. Your beauty grew each day and I didn’t hesitate to tell you so. Your cheeks would flush and the twinkle in your hazel eyes shone. Our hands would find each other and we would escape school togetherUNNECESSARY, fugitives. Together, Bonnie and Clyde.



Time went on and summer drew near. Long hot days alone, just you and I. Quiet nights spent in an empty house, absent parents only make things so much easier. Coiled on the couch we were, our minds rolled off the clock. A fatal mistake, the door slamMING waking us in alarm. Your dad yelled, as did you Dearest Haven. I left as told, unsure of what to do. I drove until sunrise then called. You claimed to be fine, and said no one would keep us apart. Even if only for a day.



We drove along the coast and found a nice spot to admire the ocean. You puzzled me Dearest Haven. A hoodie to the beach on a warm June day? The heat became to much, and you pulled off the hoodie, exposing arms blue with bruises. I cried for you Dearest Haven, I should have stayed. Anger rushed within me as I walked to my car. He hurt you Dearest Haven, and I wouldn’t stand for it. I argued with him as you got your things. Only a month till your 18th birthday, my mom would let you statSTAY with us. I hit him Dearest Haven, he’d wentGONE to far.



You stayed with me, and even closer we became. I found out a lot about you that I didn’t know. School returned, it’s halls seemingly a tint of gray. Your smile dimmedCOMMA Dearest Haven, the twinkle in your eyes lacking in luster. A week went on before I dared to ask. The answer was shocking, but wonderful all the same. We knew what we would do but still, we talked our options through. School wouldn’t be a problem since nine months from that night in September, would fall at the end of school.



People stared, and whispered, but it didn’t bother us. Your mom didn’t approve our choice, and mine was on the fence. ?The decision was final.



Christmas came and your present was obvious. You came down the stairs that morning, looking beautiful as always. I didn’t hesitate, one knee to the ground the question hung in the air. You said yesCOMMA Dearest Haven and, LEFT ME HANGING.....



“I hope our daughter finds a guy as wonderful as you.” We would wed in the summer.



Her name would be Alisa, we decided. A beautiful name for a girl who was destined to be flawless if she was half as wonderful as her mother. May came and again school was done, this time for good. I got the call in the middle of the night, and rushed to the hospital. They said things weren’t going right. “ComplicationsCOMMA” they said coldly. I lost you Dearest Haven, and our baby girl too.



I can’t live without you my love. Every word I wrote brought me closer to you. I’ll be there soon my darling. Meet me at the gates of wherever our souls my rest. Forever and eternally with you my Dearest Haven.

Hi! It's nice to meet you! Now, I should get on to this review now.

Dearest Haven,



What more can I say to you, with this my dieing breath? You brought meaning to a hopeless soul. You saved my life from a prison of endless self pity and gave me a second chance.



I love you dearest Haven, more then Should be 'than' opposed to 'then'. words could speak. When I first met you, that night of hollows eve Shouldn't 'hollows eve' be capitalized?, you looked amazing. Grace in every step, almost more then Ahem. Change to 'than'. I could bear. First words meant nothing. I'm not sure what the point of that sentence was. It was short and had nothing else to, well, back it up. Why did'nt the first words mean anything? Were you guys already in love by then? I guess this may be obvious to others, but I'm kind of slow and that bothered me. I may be the only one who feels this way and others may not agree, but that is just the way I feel. You were in my arms in a short hour, wrapped in warm embrace. Party goers paid us no mind, their drunken haze blocked it all. But alcohol couldn’t blind I, our love was as clear as the sky on this night.



Months passed slowly and classes grew longer as though they opposed our freedom. Hehe, I like that sentence. Your beauty grew each day and I didn’t hesitate to tell you so. Your cheeks would flush and the twinkle in your hazel eyes shone. Our hands would find each other and we would escape school together, fugitives. Together, Bonnie and Clyde. The repetition of the word 'together' bothers me.



Time went on and summer drew near. Long hot days alone, just you and I. Incomplete sentence. What did you guys do while alone on that hot summer day? Quiet nights spent in an empty house, absent parents only make things so much easier. Coiled on the couch we were, our minds rolled off the clock. Your minds rolled off the clock? Though I get a concept of what you're trying to imply, the word choice is rather...confusing. A fatal mistake, the door slam waking us in alarm. Your dad yelled, as did you Dearest Haven. I left as told, unsure of what to do. I drove until sunrise then called. You claimed to be fine, and said no one would keep us apart. Even if only for a day.



We drove along the coast and found a nice spot to admire the ocean. You puzzled me Dearest Haven. A hoodie to the beach on a warm June day? The heat became to much, and you pulled off the hoodie, exposing arms blue with bruises. I cried for you Dearest Haven, I should have stayed. Anger rushed within me as I walked to my car. He hurt you Dearest Haven, and I wouldn’t stand for it. I argued with him as you got your things. Only a month till your 18th birthday, my mom would let you stat with us. I hit him Dearest Haven, he’d went to far. Repetition of 'Dearest Haven'.



You stayed with me, and even closer we became. I found out a lot about you that I didn’t know. School returned, it’s halls seemingly a tint of gray. Your smile dimmed Dearest Haven, the twinkle in your eyes lacking in luster. A week went on before I dared to ask. The answer was shocking, but wonderful all the same. What was the answer? We knew what we would do but still, we talked our options through. School wouldn’t be a problem since nine months from that night in September, would fall at the end of school.



People stared, and whispered, but it didn’t bother us. Your mom didn’t approve our choice, and mine was on the fence. The decision was final.



Christmas came and your present was obvious. You came down the stairs that morning, looking beautiful as always. I didn’t hesitate, one knee to the ground the question hung in the air. You said yes Dearest Haven and,



“I hope our daughter finds a guy as wonderful as you.” We would wed in the summer. Oh, okay I know what the answer was! She was pregnant, right?



Her name would be Alisa, we decided. A beautiful name for a girl who was destined to be flawless if she was half as wonderful as her mother. May came and again school was done, this time for good. I got the call in the middle of the night, and rushed to the hospital. They said things weren't going right, “complications” they said coldly. I lost you Dearest Haven, and our baby girl too.



I can’t live without you my love. Every word I wrote brought me closer to you. I’ll be there soon my darling. Meet me at the gates of wherever our souls my rest. Forever and eternally with you my Dearest Haven.