An Ending - needs work (Any ideas?)

by scintillation

Published July 30, 2005

An Ending

The solitary man.
At the top of the cliff.
Looked about. At
All the beauty. And
Wondered why a world so
Beautiful, could have
So much sadness.
The once lovely sound of
Waves, breaking.
Became lonely, hard
Tormenting.
The bright skies;
Moody, dark, painful.
And all the agony,
Welled up.
He screamed. Turned
To sobbing.
No point, he thought.
And dropped.




----------------------------------- This needs some work, i know, but where to start.... possibly a better title as well?
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Comments & reviews · 4
User avatar
scintillation
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scintillation commented Comment · Jul 31, 2005

Thanks for the advice. I'll get to it right now.

User avatar
antigone
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antigone commented Comment · Jul 31, 2005

I love the title. Cutting the periods like Chevy said would make it alot better, I think. Good poem though. I like it alot. :)

User avatar
Chevy
Comment
Chevy commented Comment · Jul 30, 2005

A little choppy but the subject is good. Perhaps you should ditch the periods. And as for the title, "Ending" is nice.



My spelling is wobbly. It's good spelling, but it wobbles, and the letters get in the wrong places.
— A.A. Milne