An Ending
The solitary man.
At the top of the cliff.
Looked about. At
All the beauty. And
Wondered why a world so
Beautiful, could have
So much sadness.
The once lovely sound of
Waves, breaking.
Became lonely, hard
Tormenting.
The bright skies;
Moody, dark, painful.
And all the agony,
Welled up.
He screamed. Turned
To sobbing.
No point, he thought.
And dropped.
----------------------------------- This needs some work, i know, but where to start.... possibly a better title as well?
[/b]
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
Thanks for the advice. I'll get to it right now.
I love the title. Cutting the periods like Chevy said would make it alot better, I think. Good poem though. I like it alot.
A little choppy but the subject is good. Perhaps you should ditch the periods. And as for the title, "Ending" is nice.