16+ Language Violence Mature Content

Forbidden: Prologue

Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language, violence, and mature content.

I have a question for you.

And you must promise to answer truthfully.

What is power?

To many, it is sustenance, necessary for the survival of their reputation. To others, it is a burden, something to fear and hide away from in the depths of their own minds. Power can be shared or kept. It can be lost or gained. It can be passed down by generations. Should this power belong to one, or many, I ask you? And how, I ask, should this power be delivered? Should power be passed down from a father to his son, or from a mother to her daughter? Or should it be passed down based on abilities or intelligence or fortune of birth? Should it go to those who most rightly deserve it?

Where I am from, these ideas are all but a tale from the past, for I live in a world of darkness, dread, idolatry, and superstition. Where the ideas of freethought, are all but a distant memory of the days of old. The days when people respected and empowered their leaders, and their leaders did the same in return, are gone. When we did not fear them, but they feared us. That is now all but a dream. Ever since the Great Wars, nearly 3 centuries ago, the world has gone back in time. The way our world is structured is the same as that 1000 years ago. We are a monarchy, lead by a King, and we stand by the rules of those from before, but in reality, we have no real power. My title comes from those who pretend to bow before me, and believe that a woman is incompetent of ruling alone. If you were to do the impossible, and go back to where my entity was created, you would find a world of freedom, possibility, and peace. But unfortunately, that isn’t in cards for me or my people.

Now my friends, I ask you these questions. How do you think power should be held? Who do you think should hold it? Should it even exist at all? Keep your answer in mind, for when you hear my story, you will question your world and all that dwells within it.

Signed,

Elizabeth R.

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User avatar
kaitlyn
Review
kaitlyn wrote a review · Mon Jun 07, 2021 7:12 am

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: Hmm...well this was a very interesting title, and the premise that this prologue here establishes is certainly making this seem like it would make for a pretty cool story, and its certainly that I would continue to read after seeing this as the prologue.

Anyway let's get right to it,

I have a question for you.

And you must promise to answer truthfully.

What is power?


Okay...well that's certainly an intriguing way to start off a prologue there...certainly does make you think...looks like there's going to be a few interesting things scattered throughout this thing here judging by that question at any rate...well, let's see what's gonna happen next.

To many, it is sustenance, necessary for the survival of their reputation. To others, it is a burden, something to fear and hide away from in the depths of their own minds. Power can be shared or kept. It can be lost or gained. It can be passed down by generations. Should this power belong to one, or many, I ask you? And how, I ask, should this power be delivered? Should power be passed down from a father to his son, or from a mother to her daughter? Or should it be passed down based on abilities or intelligence or fortune of birth? Should it go to those who most rightly deserve it?


OKay...some really interesting ideas there about power and how it works...not quite sure how the last part comes into play though...the first part of that paragraph seems like a decent enough response to the earlier question but then it sort of goes more into the dynamics of how power is transferred and that seems a bit like it goes off on a tangent of sorts there, but hmm, well its still managing to be pretty interesting, so we shall see.

Where I am from, these ideas are all but a tale from the past, for I live in a world of darkness, dread, idolatry, and superstition. Where the ideas of freethought, are all but a distant memory of the days of old. The days when people respected and empowered their leaders, and their leaders did the same in return, are gone. When we did not fear them, but they feared us. That is now all but a dream. Ever since the Great Wars, nearly 3 centuries ago, the world has gone back in time. The way our world is structured is the same as that 1000 years ago. We are a monarchy, lead by a King, and we stand by the rules of those from before, but in reality, we have no real power. My title comes from those who pretend to bow before me, and believe that a woman is incompetent of ruling alone. If you were to do the impossible, and go back to where my entity was created, you would find a world of freedom, possibility, and peace. But unfortunately, that isn’t in cards for me or my people.


Okay...well the way that went is almost sounds like the person writing it is the monarch here judging by referring to their title and then also referring to everybody else as her people...but at any rate, this is a very interesting alternate future I think that we've got here, and well, it doesn't seem like the most plausible thing in the world as far as realism but we're not here for that..xD...its definitely an intriguing idea and it could certainly make for a pretty cool story if done correctly. And the way that you managed to flow from that mini discussion about power to how this world is looking at the moment and how such things apply is actually pretty nicely done there, I wasn't expecting a transition like this, but it was a pretty good one.

Now my friends, I ask you these questions. How do you think power should be held? Who do you think should hold it? Should it even exist at all? Keep your answer in mind, for when you hear my story, you will question your world and all that dwells within it.

Signed,

Elizabeth R.


Alright...so is the protagonist here reading some sort of letter signed by this person, is the person writing the letter the one telling the story...its a little confusing as to what that signature at the end might mean...but...it certainly isn't a big issue here at the prologue so..I think I'll led that bit of confusion slide.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Soo...this is a pretty cool little prologue that you've got here, nothing too off about this one, on the whole its a pretty solid prologue...well anyway, that's about all I gotta say here. :D

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry

User avatar
Holiday30
Review

I like this. Your question instantly made me question what I knew about power. I like the way you did this because I use this same method when I write. That question at the beginning at the beginning of a story makes you wonder if what you knew was wrong, and now your mind begins to shift and you are more open to explanation from other people. I think that's why most professors start there lectures off with questions.

User avatar
PoeticCowboy
Review

Hello from the top to mid morning of the day! Wait, that was a Lame starter. Ok, how's this one, Hello, top of the day to you! Me thinks that's better.

Anyways, I like the prologue, and I do think that you did pose a pretty good question. Although I really like the beginning, that grabbed my attention, you kinda lost me on the rest of the prologue. I felt like I was reading something that was what I liked, because I am into the fantasy stuff, but as I was reading it was like being in a quagmire and I couldent get out. I know that doesn't make any sense at all, but to me it does.

This part also confuses me to a minuscule degree. "Where I am from, these ideas are all but a tale from the past, for I live in a world of darkness, dread, idolatry, and superstition. Where the ideas of free-thought, are all but a distant memory of the days of old. The days when people respected and empowered their leaders, and their leaders did the same in return, are gone. When we did not fear them, but they feared us. That is now all but a dream. Ever since the Great Wars, nearly 3 centuries ago, the world has gone back in time."

To me it is something that does not really fit in with the rest of the story.

Other thank that part, it was a stellar prologue and I do hope that you write more, and I am also gonna read the first chapter so my opinion will likely change to the better, because thats me, unpredictable. Hope that I helped and did not hinder.

~Poetic Cowboy

User avatar
yizhongt
Review

Hey there , yizhongt here to leave a short review. Let me just start by saying that I enjoyed the questions you presented to the readers. I felt that it was well written and it offers the readers a glimpse into the world we are about to enter. In terms of grammar and spelling, I did not notice any mistakes.

I have nothing bad to say about this piece actually. I felt that it was well written. Short and sweet. Keep up the good work and keep writing. Can't wait to read the first chapter of the story. Looks to be promising.

User avatar
fkuyateh17
Review

This prologue is so interesting! You definitely leave me wanting to know more about the narrator's world. Just a few grammar things I noticed: maybe change it to "Here, the ideas of free thought are..." and "a woman is not competent enough to rule alone." Otherwise, I really like this and can't wait to read more! :)



Life, although it may only be an accumulation of anguish, is dear to me, and I will defend it.
— Mary Shelley, Frankenstein