The Ceremony

Prologue

It was disgusting, revolting to say the least. Like a broken piece of china. At one point beautiful, a fine piece of art attracting everyone’s eyes, mesmerizing even the most high class citizens. But now, it was gone. That same beauty in which I prided myself upon possessing, the one thing which I knew was special about me had disappeared from my own reflection. I was broken; shattered by the very same hand that raised me up and gave me my beauty.

            I stared at the women looking back at me in the mirror. Her lips, covered in the finest crimson lipstick any young woman my age could expect to possess, appeared to be my own. Her skin, a fair colour as white as the feathers of a dove, also appeared to be mine. But her eyes were empty; they could not have possibly been mine. Black and deep, they stared back at me, consuming me, dragging me deeper into their endless depth. When would I hit the bottom? When would this pit of darkness forming within me finally end?

            A loud ring from a bell broke through the silence, startling me out of my reverie. All of the guests had arrived. I closed my eyes, holding on to the last moment of freedom I would have within this life. The click of the doors resonated in the background. “The wedding is starting,” a woman said. The happiness within her voice clashed with my underlying depression. I hated her. I hated my father for resigning me to this fate. I hated the guests for encouraging this ceremony. I hated the world for ignoring the torture I would soon endure. But most of all, I hated myself. I had paraded myself within the village like a common prostitute selling her beauty in exchange for a few compliments and a higher marriage bid. I had known that this would happen but like a flickering candle, I held on to the light, ignoring the moment when it would burn out so only the melted candle and darkness would remain.

            I stood from my chair in front of the mirror. I pulled down my traditional red wedding veil, carefully surrounding every piece of flesh I could see. High pitched jingles surrounded me as gold jewellery hanging from the lining along the bottom of the veil collided. The same woman as before rushed to my side, straightening my crimson dress and veil until every wrinkle or crease had vanished. “You look beautiful Lijuan,” she mumbled as she stepped back to stare at me. Tears brimmed on the corners of her eyes. “Like an angel.”

 I closed my eyes and walked past her to where the double dragon doors connecting to the front yard stood proudly. A decadent display of my soon to be husbands wealth and self-proclaimed bravery. Two dragons, one on each door facing the other; they stood proudly as they blew their fiery breath towards one another in the midst of battle. But the two dragons were of equal strength. One the fire dragon, a mighty and glorious predator known for his bravery and strength. He held his head higher than the other as if he had already won the battle. The other, a water dragon, appeared meek and frail to the unseeing eye but intuitive and intelligent when placed into battle. What he lost in strength, he certainly made up for in intelligence. I stared at them for a moment before proceeding through the center of their fire where the two doors divided.

            Awaiting me on the other side of the doors was my sedan, the box in which four of the village men would carry me to the procession in. The men stared at me, their eyes glimmering with the same dazzled look I had been so used to but this time, I could see a hint of jealousy hidden. But they were servants, nothing more. They were resigned to their life of servitude just as I was helpless to my fate. For a moment, I felt myself longing to be one of them. An ordinary person without any particular skills or obligations, it was my dream. I found it amusing, that they wanted to be my fiancé, a man of noble birth and heritage just like me while I wanted to be one of them, a simple servant. It was cruel but we cannot choose our fate only follow it.

            With the help of one of the servants, I lowered myself into the lavish box. I was soon lifted and carried away.  My mind went blank as we moved. It was gone, disappeared into the pit within my eyes just as I had feared. My thoughts, my fight for freedom and even my will to live was slowly beginning to fade farther into the distance as we approached the church. The box lowered. We had arrived. I stepped out of the box, putting on my esteemed presence to be sure that no one would notice my inner feelings.

            The guests seemed delighted as I began to walk down the bright red aisle. Some seemed happy that a proper match had been found for me while most of the wives appeared to only be happy that I was finally marrying and was no longer a threat to their own husbands. But they had been so greedy celebrating my nuptials that they had not noticed most of their husbands eyes had already wandered to one of the countless young women I at one point considered my friends and piers.

My eyes caught on my father, standing at the end of the aisle. His face beamed with pride as I approached. I could hardly bring myself to look into his cold, lifeless eyes filled with greed. This man had raised me as a woman, never a girl. I was his gem, a diamond among pearls. He had advertised me as the most beautiful woman in all of China and everyone believed him once they caught sight of me in my lavish clothing and expensive jewels. But when the time came for me to marry, I was no longer his gem alone. I was for sale, like a pig on the market and once I was bought by a wealthy aristocrat who was sure to provide him with a better future, he didn’t care even if I was sent to the slaughterhouse and served as pork stew the next day.

            The husband he had selected for me was once of the wealthiest men in China, a close friend of the emperor himself, but he was old and filthy, over triple my age. He had already had two wives before but chose to divorce them and choose another concubine to add to his harem once their faces began to sag and their wisdom began to grow. Like trash, he threw them out on the street, regardless of the fact that they had children together. My father had forced me into this life and just like them, once I became old and decrepit, he would throw me away and then I would only become another piece of trash on the side of the road.

            My eyes shifted from my father to the man standing next to him, my future husband, Chanming Choo. The sight of him stirred a feeling within the pit of my stomach I had designated as pure hatred, something I had never felt before. He looked towards me as if I were his prize, nothing more than a trophy he would soon add to his collection. My eyes wandered again, but this time towards the guests. Standing in the third row, behind my childhood friends and family members, stood him, Fan. He wore his political face. Like a cloud of fog it hid what was truly in his mind. But I knew him better than blank smiles and dull eyes. He was a man capable of the sweetest love any man could show a single woman. If I could have chosen who would be standing at the end of that aisle, waiting for me, it would have been him; but in the end, he was just a man and I was just a woman and together we were only human. We could not go against our families wishes because they were more than us.

            He turned away from me, separating our connected eyes. Reluctantly, I took my final glance of the back of his head, imprinting it into the back of my mind before turning my eyes back forward. I had reached the alter prepared to accept my fate. The man before me, if you could call his sagging face and rotting limbs part of any man, would despite all my hopes, soon become my husband. I glanced at a mirror on the wall behind my fiancé. I could see myself over his shoulder. Even though I could not see my face, I knew at that moment I was finished. I had lost this battle.

HEYY!! Tell me what you think please! I'm considering turning this into a novel but I want opinions before I start :)