Ive been waiting on you for so long
at first it was deep
then it got shallow
and i somewhat forgot
I saw you again
and fell right back in
this time
you saw me too
Something clicked
it all feels right
i cant live without you
or sleep at night
I hear from you
it all goes away
the hurt, the tears
and most of all, the pain
We were brought together
by such a tragic loss
you are my sunshine
in this dreary weather
without even knowing, you made my life heaven
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Awesome! Though, I think the lines were a bit too short. Other than that, wonderful! Keep writing! You did fantastic with the detail and imagination.
Hey there!
Right, I think in terms of nitpicking you should take a look at Winie's suggestions, however my feedback of this poem is pretty positive. I think you've structured it well and that there is a good vivid portrayal that conveys imagination through out.
ALTHOUGH!
I would suggest that you put some punctuation in because at the moment the fluency is very implied and if you want to pack that extra affect, you'll need to start experimenting with semi colons and commas as this allows your reader to develop a voice of the poem and a tone. This is the kind of thing that really delivers the affect for the reader, so I think it's important to use it.
Hope this helps and keep it up!
Ben
Well, hello there! I'm going to be reviewing your piece today so let's hope it helps!
#BF0000 ">I'm not sure if the missing apostrophe was on purpose?#BF0000 ">You didn't capitalize the I. At first I thought this was intentional but then I saw a capitalized I, and another. Either upper or lower
#BF0000 ">Again, capitalization
#BF0000 ">This is two lines but I think it should be four. I would rewrite it like this:
the hurt,
the tears
and most of all,
the pain
#BF0000 ">Favorite lines!
#BF0000 ">I would rewrite it like this so it has more flow:
without even knowning
you made my life heaven
(take out the comma)
OVERALL
So I thought this was rather good! With some tweaking though, it could sparkle
winie*
Nice, I like it
. But, there's one 'i' that wasn't capitalized in the first part, other than that, it was great 
. I don't see it... as something dramatic though O.o. Maybe I didn't read it right.... x.x. 
(Gotta love random dancing things 
!)